As an actor, my eyeballs need to look their whitest!

[ET Awful]

HI, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes
as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get some confidence, Stupid!

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. or such safety films as "Lead Paint, Delicious but Deadly"

and "Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Harry Driscoll"

[CatWoman]

2. oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i'm busting my sides!!!!!

stop it!!!

stop it!!!

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. And such films as " Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die"

and "Dial M for Murderousness"

[ET Awful]

7. I'd forgotten that one :)

LOL Today we kill, tomorrow we die . . . BUAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. And other educational films such as "Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What"

and "Here Comes The Metric System"

[ET Awful]

3. And such drivers ed films as

"Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot."

[CatWoman]

9. i'm so stupid -- i came back to this thread

i can't stop laughing!!!!

[tcfrogs]

15. You forgot

"Designated Drivers: The Lifesaving Nerds"

[tcfrogs]

4. Hi, I'm Troy McClure!

Perhaps you remember me from such dates as last night's dinner!

[ET Awful]

5. You may remember me from such celebrityt funerals as

"Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye" and "Shemp Howard, Today We Mourn A Stooge."

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. And such do it yourself videos as Dig Your Own Grave and Save

"Mothballing Your Battleship", and "The Half-Assed Guide to Foundation Repair"

[tcfrogs]

13. And Self-Help Videos such as

"Get Confident, Stupid!" and "Smoke Yourself Thin"

EDIT - sorry, didn't see you had those at the bottom of your original thread

[tcfrogs]

11. You may remember me from such telethons as

"Let's Save Tony Orlando's House" and "Out With Gout '88"

[Reverend_Smitty]

8. My favorite Troy McClure bit

"The Dr. Zaius Song"

Ape: Help, the human's about to escape.
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape.
Apes: He can talk!
Apes:
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
Troy: I can siiiiiing!


Female Nurse Ape: Ooh, help me Dr. Zaius!
Apes:
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.

Troy: What's wrong with me?
Zaius: I think you're crazy.
Troy: Want a second opinion.
Zaius: You're also lazy.

Apes:
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius

Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.

Troy: Can I play the piano anymore?
Zaius: Of course you can.
Troy: Well I couldn't before!


"You'll Never Make a Monkey Out of Me"

Troy:
I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee
No you'll never make a monkey out of me

Oh my God, I was wrong
It was Earth all along
You've finally made a monkey

Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey

Troy: Yes you've finally made a monkey out of me
Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey out of you

Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!

on edit:
I love legitamate the-a-ter

[ET Awful]

14. I liked the Mark Hamill guest spot better :)

okay, so not better, but I still laughed my ass off :)


Luke be a Jedi tonight!
Just be a Jedi tonight!
Do it for Yoda while we serve our guests a soda!
And do it for Chewie and the Ewoks, and all the other puppets
Luke, be a Jedi tonight!

[XNASA]

12. Who can forget, "Give My Remains to Broadway " and....

The President's Neck is Missing
The Boatjacking of Supership '79
Hydro, the Man With the Hydraulic Arms
Muppets Go Medieval
The Greatest Story Ever Hulaed
They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall
Meet Joe Blow
The Verdict Was Mail Fraud
Leper in the Backfield
Hitler Doesn't Live Here Anymore

[tcfrogs]

17. Perhaps you remember me from some of my films

such as "Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out" and "The Greatest Story Ever Hulaed"