The Final Days .......... as told by SNL!

[ronnykmarshall]

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75snixon.phtml

< flashback to White House hallway - President Richard Nixon talking to Abe Lincoln's portrait >

< SUPER: "The White House - August 7, 1974" >

President Richard Nixon: < despairing > Well, Abe, you were lucky. They shot you. Come on clot! Move up to my heart! Kill me! Kill me!

< Julie and David Eisenhower enter the room >

David Eisenhower: Ah, Mr. President? Julie and I were thinking maybe you should go upstairs and get some rest. Maybe things will look brighter in the morning.

President Richard Nixon: < wincing at the sight of David > Ugh! He does look like Howdy Doody!

Julie Eisenhower: Daddy, you're not going to resign, are you?

President Richard Nixon: No, no.. a pessimist would resign. I'm an optimist.

Julie Eisenhower: It's the pessimists who want you to resign, isn't it, Daddy?

President Richard Nixon: THat's right, Princess. Remember that army hospital I visited in Vietnam? There was a young enlisted man from Des Moines, Iowa. He had been hit in the eye with a surface-to-air missile. And he only had four pints of blood left in his body, and as youknow, a man normally has eight pints of blood in his body. Now, the pessimists in this country would say that that boy was half-empty, while I like to think he was half-full!

[VOX]

1. I remember this. A classic, classic bit.

As I recall, in the sketch, Pat Nixon (Jane Curtin) had a brandy snifter the size of a goldfish bowl.

Thanks, ronny. :yourock:

[ronnykmarshall]

2. This one had Madeline Kahn as Pat.

I remember the one you're talking about too.

[htuttle]

3. "Get down on your knees and pray with me, Henry!"

:)

[ronnykmarshall]

4. I love that part!

[peekaloo]

5. Pat, it's cold in here.

Well throw another tape on the fire!

I also liked when he was talking to JFK's pic....."imagine having sex with WOMEN, here in the White House, the praysident".

[Yavin4]

6. Did Al Franken Write That Script?

Sounds like his writing.

[htuttle]

7. It was Franken and Davis back then

What ever happened to Davis?

:shrug:

Ah, google-fu to the rescue:
http://www.alfrankenweb.com/tomdavis.html