Is this the --talk like Donald Rumsfeld-- thread? You bet!

[DS1]

Should you reply? Who knows?

When will I click Post Message? Right now, in fact, I'd probably say that I've already clicked Post Message but things get confused in this day and age and we just won't now until we've read the thread and revisited our after-action reports....

Did I just edit this thread? There's a good possibility of that, I've edited my own people before, so who knows what I'll do!

[wysi]

1. What will my title be?

Well that depends upon my intentions. And my intentions are likely to change based on various things happening on the ground there.

[DS1]

4. And by there do you mean here? That's a 100% possibility!

In fact, it could be right here in this room, or your room, the fact is that we just won't know, and we might not know for a very long time, and even after we find out, we still might not know!

[number6]

2. is this a ....

known.. known
or ....unknown known
or .....known unknown
or ......unknown unknown thread?

[DS1]

13. This thread is a definite unknown until it crosses a given fact-threshold,

which I will determine when I have more information.

[JimmyJazz]

3. Are a lot of people going to miss this thread because

they are busy reading other threads? You bet. So be it. Nothing's perfect. Next Question. (Translation: tough shit).

[DS1]

6. Do I want to answer anymore questions? No! Of course not,

the last time I answered questions a lot of people died, including reporters, and they weren't happy with that outcome.

[henslee]

14. I'm crying this post is so funny.

[henslee]

5. That's a ridiculous question. Why would you ask a question like that?

Look, when you're doing things, you do them a certain way based on how you did them before and therefore, expect a certain result based upon that... And sure, sometimes you're disappointed with the results. But that doesn't mean you abandon doing it!

[DS1]

17. Does this mean I'm going to have the entire Brazilian area of rainforest

cut down? Yes! With a herring? No! But that doesn't make me any less committed to finding out the truth, even if we do go overbudget.

[bahrbearian]

7. Is this thread , North ,South , East , or West of Bagdad,,,

[DS1]

20. This thread could be anywhere, and we may never find it,

in fact it may have already been found and lost again, an unknowable number of times! Truth is an ugly business, and sometimes people end up with shit all over themselves, and when truth stinks, you're not gonna want to swallow it.

[name not needed]

8. Nothing's perfect.

[DS1]

19. Except smart bombs. Like Tariq Al Alzihabi found out last night,

as documented by this bomb-tape. Did he enjoy his dinner with a sprinkling of napalm? You bet! Iraqis love this shit, it's like curry to them.

[CatWoman]

9. If you see 100 pictures of a guy running carrying a vase

is it 100 vases being stolen?

or 100 pictures of the same guy carrying the same vase?

[DS1]

21. And if you double the number of eyeballs that have seen a vase

just like it, you can bet it'll show up on ebay, or on the side of a fogged up window in New England, this doesn't answer the question of where that vase was made, who made it, and what did he or she intend to store in it.

[HEyHEY]

10. Well, I'm don't know if I should have to say if I'll reply...

I'll reply when I want to reply in good time. I'm working on strategies for the reply, but I'm not go to just reply because you asked me to.

[DS1]

23. Sometimes you have ignore the old strategies, and forge ahead

a new strategy with cool new tanks with rubber tires, because they can go faster and deliver a larger amount of accurate firepower due to rubber tire stabilization than ever before, according to this pamflet I have right here. Can you see it? No! It's classified.

[HEyHEY]

27. LOL

Did I just get a mental picture of Rumsfeld doing what you describe? Yes, I did.

[Still_Notafraid]

11. Hmm

Talk like Don lets see,I have seen him on cspan several times and to me it is kinda like this- Listen we have got to defend America from people that don't want us to take over the world these people really think there country's belong to them,give me 3 times the budget and these evil doers will be brought to justice.

then he yells at any Democrat who ask him a reasonable accountability question.

[DS1]

15. Ask yourself a question and answer it, in a ridiculous convoluted manner

that makes the audience think you're on crack? Every day!

[TroubleMan]

12. You know - this thread is neither good nor bad...

but thinking makes it so, I suppose, as Shakespeare said.

[DS1]

25. We don't know if Shakespeare ever existed, yet he's managed

to infiltrate our borders and use our own language against us!

Are we building a time machine so we can send back an F15 and bomb him? No, that's a ridiculous idea - everyone knows you have to go after the mother because that *expletive* Dickens already built his own time machine and is ready to send in Conan "The Man" Doyle. We've detected this, we have the proof.

[Medium Baby Jesus]

16. There are some threads you don't read

some you know you did not read and some you don't know you did not read

edit My 100th post! It only took me a year and a half.

[DS1]

26. And sometimes you can read before you can count, and when that

happens we have to put troops on the ground, some of them will get hurt, some of them will get killed, and sometimes we can't count that number, but that doesn't make us any less committed to base ten numbering even after we liberate the birthplace of mathematics.

What the hell am I talking about? I don't know.

[flamingyouth]

18. Will I be bookmarking this thread?

You bet! In fact, I'd probably say that I already have.

[DS1]

29. Bookmarks are like insurgents, or enemy combatants, or

non-enemy combatants, or alien non-combatant linquistics experts, they are all capable of inflicting massive amounts of casualties in a short amount of time. In fact, they might have already killed us, so quickly and brutally, that we haven't even looked down at our shattered bodies and acknowledged this fact, in which case we won't know if we're really alive or dead until we have free elections.

When will we have free elections? That remains to be seen.

[TroubleMan]

22. Don't say "the White House wants." Buildings can't want.

That's an actual quote by him.....LOL.

[DS1]

24. Buildings can want? You bet! I can name about a dozen buildings

that can even not want, like the Ministry of Finance not wanting to be bombed, so we bombed it and knocked it free of negative want, and now that it's bricks have been liberated from their stillness and wanting, they'll probably want a drink of water, we can provide that.

[TroubleMan]

31. But there are wants it knows it wants, wants it knows it doesn't want,

wants it doesn't know it wants, and wants it doesn't know it doesn't want.

[DS1]

35. Do I get in my car if I don't want to? No, of course not. But if I do

get in my car and it doesn't want to start, do I want to be anywhere else? We won't know that until the car decides if it wants to start or not, so I might as well just stay in my house.

...

Now let me be meticulously clear on this next point, because it's an important one.

...

Now my house has a want, it's a confirmed knowable want. My house wants to burn down around me, we have the satellite imagery of infrared activity. That's why it's for sale, will someone want to buy it? Maybe. Will it not want to burn itself down after I move out? That's an unknowable want.

[jdj]

41. knocked it free of negative want.

(I had to savor that one.)

[rockymountaindem]

28. Does this kind of rhetorical-question discussion piss me off? You bet!

Can I do anything about it? No, no I can't.

[DS1]

30. Does that mean you should do anything about it? No, but should

you do something about it? Yes. What's the difference between those options, we can't know that.

[UpsideDownFlag]

32. we're bringing freedom to this thread. nt

[DS1]

34. Parts of this thread don't want freedom, freedom is an ugly thing,

but when freedom wants to pile its friends truth, justice, and the American way in the back of its pickup truck and beat a motherfucker down with some baseball bats sometimes you just have to let freedom be free.

Being free means being able to wake up missing a few teeth, or 60% of your mental capacity. Do I love freedom? Yes!

[mark414]

33. Why is this even a thread? I don't know!

Do I think this sort of thread should exist? Maybe.

Do I approve of this sort of thread? Not sure.

Is this really fucking hilarious? Of course!

[DS1]

37. Somewhere out there is a terrorist approving this thread.

Do I approve of him? No, of course not, he's a terrorist and a bad guy. Are there drugs for my condition? We don't know. In fact we don't know what sequence of chemicals bonded together will stop me sounding like a sociopathic lunatic, but doctors tell me they are similar to weapons of mass destruction.

Doctors are harboring weapons of mass destruction, while talking to people who talk about terrorists. When liberals stop living in their pretend worlds where nobody wants to kill them, will I be a happy SecDef? You bet!

[Blue-Jay]

36. There are threads like this to the East, South, North, & West of DU.

Should we block them? Maybe.

[DS1]

40. They could be below DU, or above DU, or behind DU, or even

exactly 2 seconds ahead of DU at all times. How would we know if they were 2 seconds ahead of DU if we were always 2 seconds behind the threads? That's a knowable unknown. Where am I going with this idea? That's an unknown knowable. Is there a difference? Maybe.

[MisterP]

38. will more babies be decapitated? boo-ya!

old ladies ridden naked like donkies? hell yeah!

[DS1]

39. Are decapitated babies and Mexican donkey tricks a part of freedom?

Yes!