And now...a debate in CAPTIONS

[Crankie Avalon]

"I would wage a more |"EEK, EEK!!! OOK, OOK!!!"
precise, more pinpoint |
War on Terror."

[StlMo]

1. More of the debate:

"George, your balls" | W: "Not fair: As a Chickenhawk,"
"are about this big" | W: "I don't have any balls!"

[sam sarrha]

2. Karl Roves dick is this big around / no it is this big around...I know

[Crankie Avalon]

3. nt

"The President hasn't |WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!!
articulated even one | How can I make a
iota of plan for how | rebutterance if that
he intends to repair | production guy doesn't
our relations with all | start turnin' mah cue
the allies of ours he's | cards a li'l slower?
spent the last 4 years
alienating.

[Crankie Avalon]

4. The debate rages on...

"Any President of the United |"Wanna touch pretty flashing
States ought to have more | light with my mouth..."
brains than a tiny moth."

[VOX]

5. As the contest presses forward, the candidates move in for the kill...

I can prove, in fact___| OOOOOOoooooaaaaaa!
That man did descend| OOOOOOoooooaaaaaa!
From the ape!_______| Banana! Banana!

[skip fox]

6. Kerry: "This election is too important to drag our country thru the mud

with baseless charges and cheap slogans."

W. "He's a traitor and a flip-flopper. No, I mean he's a coward and a liberal. No, I mean, he's . . ."

[Crankie Avalon]

7. In desperation, the President mounts an offensive off an old gambit...

"Yeah, well at least I don't | "What are you talking about???
go round saying I invented | You must be mistaking me for
the Internettery, Mister Big | someone else..."
Stupidhead!"

But it seems nothing can turn the tide...


"Besides, what does that | "Well...like...it's called the
have to do with a debate | WORLDWIDE Internettery,
on foreign policy?" ~~~~| that's why!"

[Crankie Avalon]

8. Panic sets in...

"We're makin' lotsa good | "Ohhhh, I yield my time to the
progress...yeah, peeance | President--please, go on."
freeance...and...uh...tribal|
soverenity...it's just that...|
it's sovereign...plus tax..."|

[Crankie Avalon]

9. The President plays his trump card...

"Well, Mr. President, I fear `| "What do I have to offer? Well,
quite a few of us remain ` | watch this--lady in the front row:
baffled as to just what you| HEEEEEEEYALLLLLL!!! Didj'all heal?
have to offer the American |No? Well, then: STAY AFFLICTIONEDAHHH!!!"
people."

[Crankie Avalon]

10. Where the heck are...

...all the DU-Captioners, anyway? With the two different splitscreen photos it seemed like this was a natural for some fun...

"Y'all gotta help me--Kerry's trouncifyin' me! Does the time we've spent together mean nothing to y'all???"

[Crankie Avalon]

11. Well, I guess I'll wrap it up, then...

The candidates make their closing statements...


"...so if you feel as I do that|"Fer mah closin' statement, I'm
"America can do better--that|gonna do sumthin' my opponent
it MUST do better--I ask you|cain't do--and that's channel a
to vote on November 2nd for|"higher power," so ta speak:
me, John Kerry, for President|HAMMANAHAMANOOONOOONOO
of the United States. Thank|BLEAAAAAHGAHGAHGAHGAH!!!..."
you."


...which touches off a chain of events...


"WHAT IN THE F*CK IS HE DOING???"
"I have no idea, Mr. Lehrer."


"OH, CRAP! Roger, "Palomino" has gone haywire, he's speaking
in tongues, again, repeat, HE'S SPEAKING IN TONGUES--we're
going in for him, so have the limo ready...1-2-3, NOW!"


...that leave the President quite befuddled the next day--but no more so than usual...


"Hot damn, that dart gun shore does sting
the morning after. Better make the best o'
things by tryin' ta look stoical."

[Crankie Avalon]

12. You know, this thread was supposed to be...

...just an over-the-top joke before the debate, but after what happened last night this thing doesn't seem all that far off.

Hah, hah!!! :bounce:

[chefgirl]

13. EXCELLENT!!

Best laugh I've had in a long time!

You have a gift, my friend. :thumbsup:

-chef-

[Crankie Avalon]

14. Thanks, really!

It was pretty fun just writing and posting it--but when someone else says they enjoyed something you worked on, it's a really, really great feeling.

Take care!