HELP: I got some felafel and a loofah. Now what do I do?

[SpiralHawk]

i am serious about wanting to follow the Official Republican Sex Hygiene Protocol (ORSHP) but I don't have cable TV and so have been unable to hear the esteemed SexOtologist Billy O'Reilly give the "appropriate instructions."

Therefore, I remain clueless.

Please demonstrate some Compassionate Conservativism, and help me learn the Proper Procedure (PP) for "felafaloofing" or "loofafeling," or whatever the hip, clued-in, sexually suave Neo-cons call it.

I want to be in with the in-crowd
(They got they're own way of walking.
They got they're own way of talking.)

Feeling sexually inadequate
(for the first time in my life), SH

[meegbear]

1. Got on the phone ...

and masterbate while ranting about Al Franken.

[shoelace414]

2. put down that pipe, and get my pipe... up

[XNASA]

3. I think somebody's getting a hummus.......

:crazy:

[tnlefty]

4. Don't call me!!!

Just to reminded of what I read at the smoking gun could cause me to experience avoidance behavior.

[Lady Effingbroke]

5. Dill D'ohLielly's easy picture guide to falaphilia.

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