I'm going to lunch with a Fundie Republican friend of mine ...

[LisaLynne]

in a few minutes and I'm determined to act happy and upbeat. She's going to expect me to be defeated and down and I have to confess that I've been semi-avoiding her since the election. I'm not taking any crap from her, but I'm also not going to let her think this election has me giving up ... on anything! Wooo! Go me!

So, wish me luck! :)

[RT Atlanta]

1. Pre-empt her fundi-ness

Make sure you say a very public "blessing" before you eat. Ask God to help our country through this dark period and to bless the food you're about to eat.

[rkc3]

2. Good luck. And don't order anything requiring a steak knife.

[kitkatrose]

3. Under extreme duress,

even a butter knife becomes dangerous in my hands. :) Lets hope the OP has a better temper than me. :D

[LisaLynne]

4. Uh, good point ...

And if nothing else, I'm sure there will be forks ... Maybe I'll just get the soup!

[kitkatrose]

14. It might just be better to go with plastic.

Or you could have a spork. You can't do anything with them, including eat. :P

[kick-ass-bob]

5. What about a spoon? Why a spoon?

Because it hurts more!!

http://www.cafepress.com/angryleft/360394

[jukes]

6. i have no friends but cats

but if i *DID*, it sure as hell wdnt be a holyroller republican.

what's to LIKE about some1 like that?

not dissing you, just don't get it.

[tk2kewl]

7. toss her this nugget...

I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature... Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burned, tortured, fined and imprisoned. What has been the effect of this coercion? To make half the world fools and half hypocrites; to support roguery and error all over the world.

Thomas Jefferson

[sniffa]

8. end your friendship

[zbdent]

9. Got

arsenic?

[peekaloo]

10. Pray throughout the meal!

[da_chimperor]

11. Good luck, and remember to bring up the gigantic deficit if she bugs you.

Any real conservative should be soiling themselves over that. If she doesn't, ask her how she can consider herself to be conservative.

[el_gato]

12. really piss her off: pray for her for being a murderous ignorant bushite

In front of her before you eat:

Dear God,

Please forgive my friend for she knows not what she is doing.
She is a murderer but she has been led astry by liars.

Amen

[YellowRubberDuckie]

13. Actually, if you want to keep the peace with this person...

Say, "Look, we need to agree to disagree about Polics. I like you. We get along well, but I don't need you acting like you're better than me because you feel like your moral superiority was proven last week. If you continue to behave like this, our friendship will have to end."
I've done it, and politics is no longer spoken between a friend and I. Nothing good ever comes out of it.
Duckie

[Tyler Durden]

15. I envy your tolerance.

I can no longer compartmentalize like that. I have no more rePuke Fundie friends, and any relatives, in-laws or aquaintances of that stripe I keep at arms length under pain of cutting them off if they decide to preach their heresy to me.

I even fired my rePuke, Fundie lawyer, and he was damned good, but a max-out rePuke Fundie.

[NewJeffCT]

16. well, if you are comfortable with the Bible

Ask them if the Bible says more about slavery or gay marriage? I'm pretty sure there is a lot more about slavery in there.

Ask them what Jesus says about helping the poor? I don't think Jesus' attitude was, "Suck it up & make it on your own. And, stop asking for handouts, loser!"

I believe Jesus also preaches tolerance.

Ask her which sin is worse - Bush using spiritual messages in his speeches & not going to church or John Kerry generally avoiding spiritual messages in his speeches but being a regular church goer?