This one's the idiot customer of the YEAR!

[jmowreader]

This one was from two nights ago; we're still trying to figure her out.

She walked up and told us she owned an acre of land. "Good, that's a nice piece of land."

She then told us she wanted to build a four-bedroom house on this land. "And that's a nice size house."

She then told us she wanted to buy all of the materials to build said house, and to take it with her tonight.

"May I see your house plan?"

'What's that?'

"It's a set of instructions to build a house, and in it is a list of the materials you will need."

'Oh, I ain't got one of those. Don't want one neither. Just sell me some wood.'

I paused for a second to pick my ass up off the floor.

"Do you have a building permit?"

'No, why do I need that?'

"Because the state requires you to have permission to build a house. You need a building permit first. And to get this you go to the county inspections department."

'So I just go down there, get a building permit and come back, right?'

"Yes, but you've got to take your house plans to them so they can see what kind of a house you're building."

'I GOTTA have a house plan?'

"Yeah, 'fraid so, but I know lots of good places to get them." And I took her to the front where we sell the magazines and showed her the house plan books. We went through the whole book, she found a nice plan she liked, I helped her fill out the order form. No problem. She even checked the "express delivery" box so she'd get them quickly.

The next morning...she's back! Yup, trying to buy all the lumber for her house before the plans arrived. First thing I did was grab the book, flip to the publisher data...nope, Acme did not print this magazine. I'm getting this image in my head of her dropping the house plan order in the mailbox then standing next to it waiting for the mail truck to arrive.

Was it Thomas Paine who said something about the times that try men's souls? I'm starting to sympathize with him at this point.

[Bouncy Ball]

1. ROFL!

Was she serious or just yanking your chain?

[jmowreader]

8. No, she was fuckin' serious!

One of the guys in Electrical says he would have set her up an order for about $200,000 worth of material.

[jellybelly]

2. she was a woman, yeah?

nuff said...:scared:

[liberalhistorian]

3. ROFLMAO!

OMG, is that hilarious! I would have had a helluva time keeping a straight face throughout, that's for sure! You should post that on this website, www.customerssuck.com. But warning: once you get on that site, it's really hard to drag yourself away!

[celestia671]

7. I love CS!

I have seen a few freeps that hang out there, but I mainly stick witht the Planet Feedback board. You can see some pretty hilarious stories on that one!

[NYC]

4. A real do-it-yourselfer.

I hope she gets her house built.

[benddem]

5. You've beaten

all my customer stories. Good luck. Was she on drugs? alcohol? or just demented?

[jmowreader]

9. No, just really fucking STUPID!

Y'know this guy?



Well, he's a Ph.D. compared to her.

[NightTrain]

6. OK, so the year is only 9 days old, but...

...it still would be hard to top that customer for sheer cluelessness and idiocy in 2005! :eyes:

[Spinzonner]

10. Is her last name Simpson ?