Best excuses to use for a sick day.

[xmas74]

I am working tonight but will be off tomorrow from one job. I don't want to work the other. I am exhausted, I have posted a lot of nonsense and bs today and my spelling has been atrocious.
Please help with a really good sick day excuse!

[leftofthedial]

1. the dog ate my stomach flu

[Trillo]

2. The truth. nt

[xmas74]

10. They won't go for the truth.

It's my part-time and they demand that I am always there. I was suspended for a week once because my daughter had been sick the night before and they saw me at Walmart the next day, picking up her prescriptions.

[Trillo]

23. Well, my second answer, is

time to move to another job. I'd give 'em about 2 seconds notice.

But that's just me. You do as thou wilt.

[xmas74]

25. Believe me, I'm looking.

I just can't leave until I find something better. I have to be able to pay the bills so that my child has a place to live.

[alittlelark]

3. 'My cat barfed up a hairball on the stairs and I slipped on it'

....My back is killing me, I have a Chiropractor appt in 4 hours.

[Floogeldy]

7. Ha ha ha!

;-)

[Not_Giving_Up]

8. ROTFLMAO

As someone with three cats and a bad back, I could use that one!

[xmas74]

11. they'll want the note from the chiropractor.

[alittlelark]

16. Give it to them.....

use your S/O's cell phone # and have S/he record a 'not here now' message . I have such a sneaky mind.... I would have been great in the CIA if they were not such a disturbing group.


....sigh

[xmas74]

18. That is a thought.

I could call a friend.

[mermaid]

4. Tell Them You Are "Throwing Off Ballast At Both Ends"

That usually works.

No one wants someone around if they are barfing AND have diarrhea!

[alittlelark]

6. EEEWWWWW!!!!!

but I would agree.

[NewJeffCT]

90. that was me last night

so, i called in sick for today. I can't remember the last time i threw up - probably in elementary school.

[Not_Giving_Up]

5. Well, that depends

I had a boss once that easily got grossed out. All you had to do was say "I have raging diarrhea and" and she would stop you right there.

[xmas74]

They want details-all of the details.

[underseasurveyor]

15. EXPLOSIVE diarrhea

Emphasis on the explosive part helps :evilgrin: No one wants to be around for that x(

Or hell wtf call in well, I feel great and I'm not coming in today!
:shrug: Keeps em wondering

[BlackVelvetElvis]

9. Family emergency.

Something you can't avoid and no one can blame on you.

[xmas74]

13. They screamed at me a month ago

(and this is true). My grandfather was on life support and we had decided that it was time to let him go. I called in to work, explaining the situation. I was yelled at because, as they put it, if he's dying there was nothing that I could do for him so it was more important that I come to work.
They really suck.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

21. I would've told them to go to hell.

How dare they!?
Forgive my outrage.
I'm sorry you and your family had such a difficult time.

[xmas74]

24. I wanted to

but they know that my finances are not so hot right now. I am a single mother who works two jobs and rarely receives child support. My full-time job is taking away some hours so I will have to work at the part time even more just to make them up (and they pay less, so I have to work even more hours).
They have me over a barrel and they know it.

[NewJeffCT]

91. I worked at a place like that...

A woman had her teen son get hit by a drunk driver. The teen son was in a coma and had to go to some special hospital. She wanted to take some time off to be with her son and was told by the head of the department that he hoped it wouldn't interfere with her quarterly responsibilities.

[Floogeldy]

12. "I think I've got food poisoning"

Make the phone call from the bathroom, and make the "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" barfing sound while pouring a pitcher of water in the toilet so your boss can get the graphic.

}(

[xmas74]

14. Now I could do that!

[fujiyama]

17. Asian bird flu

I forgot the fatality rate, but it's pretty damn high.

[xmas74]

20. I could just tell them that I suspect that it is ebola.

That would scare the shit out of them!

[fujiyama]

51. There ya go

Now your on the right track!

[xmas74]

53. "I was playing with some monkeys who

were rolling around in guano and now I don't feel so good."

[Not_Giving_Up]

19. This employer sounds pretty nasty

Tell them you need a mental health day, and if you don't get, you're coming in armed.

[xmas74]

22. They are nasty.

It's my part time job-I need two just to pay all of the bills for myself and my child. They think that single mom means "stay by the phone at home all day and wait for us to call you. If we don't catch you, then we'll keep calling until you answer so that we can yell at you!"
Truthfully, I wish that I didn't have to work a full-time and a part-time job. I wish that I could find one job that just pays a living wage.

[progmom]

26. .

:hug:

[xmas74]

27. Thanks!

I needed one.
I want to call in but I will probably show up tomorrow, as scheduled.

[mermaid]

28. We ALL Wish That

But I can't find one that pays a living wage, either....and certainly not ANYTHING permanent. All I can get is temp. And THEN...I constantly have to worry about people trying to get me fired because I am a transsexual. It happened to me on my most recent temp job.

So, at age 34, I am going to be forced to move back home with Mommy. No kids...just me and my dog....but I cannot sign another lease on the strength of a temp job and promises.

FUCK YOU, GEORGE W BUSH!!!

[xmas74]

29. I have been tempted to move back home too

but it would be a sign of failure (and I have family members that would use it as ammo).
I am 30. I have a degree. It's an Econ degree, granted, but I do have a degree. Many of the degree jobs around here start at around $9 an hour. The rent for a 2 bedroom is running around 650 a month. Then her preschool is $400, child care is about the same, etc.
Remember when you could have a high school diploma and get a decent enough job to support a family, buy a house, etc. I wonder what happened to those days.
I am sorry that you have to go through the same things, job-wise. I would think that yours is even worse and that it is even harder for you to find a job. Keep your chin up. It has to change someday.

[mermaid]

42. I Know

And that is how I am taking it. a sign of failure. and I have a brother who I KNOW will use it as ammo against me, because he is a Southern Baptist, rock-ribbed Republican asshole who thinks I'm some sort of pervert because I am a TS.

Let's not mention the fact that this asshole brother of mine fucking blackmailed me for five years, during our teen yers...into sucking his goddamn DICK almost every fucking day!! Now which one of us is the pervert??

Jesus, I can tell you, as a woman, now...I have sucked my share, and my brother's was the only one that made me want to barf! Dunno if it was mental, because it was my brother....or because it was forced on me...or what....but I do know it took me A LONG FUCKING TIME to heal from that shit.

And I'm still not sure I'm healed.

and the LAST thing I need is for my brother to start taunting me about how I could not make it on my own, and had to come back home to Mommy. Which I know he will do. I've already warned my mother if my idiot brother does it, fists are going to fly.

[xmas74]

45. My parents would throw salt in the wound for me.

The like to let everyone know that I am the "irresponsible, immoral one". Why? Because I didn't marry the bastard who threw me out of a moving vehicle when I was about 7 weeks pregnant-or the time that he shoved me down a flight of stairs at work (there are many others).
Your brother is sick and demented. I would blackmail him myself. We know how the pukes feel about homosexuality-throw that at him.
Otherwise, invite him over for a big meal. Wait until he falls asleep on the couch, then stand over him with a butcher knife at his (lack of )manhood. Kick him awake and inform him that if he says anything negative to you at all, not only will you shout it from the rooftops about what he did but that you will make sure that , next time, the knife "accidently" slips.

[Behind the Aegis]

30. Tell them your hair hurts! It'll confuse them!

Or, just tell them you are unwell...the more 'symptoms' you list the more likely you are going to forget one and will get caught!

Or you can tell them your horoscope told you "home is where the heart is" and you took that as a sign to stay your ass at home. :evilgrin: :) Good luck and get some rest!

[xmas74]

32. LOL

Thanks! I really do need the rest. The last day off that I had was my grandfather's funeral (about 6 weeks ago).
If I ever have a scheduled day off, I get called in to work.

[Behind the Aegis]

34. DON'T GO!

You will burn out! The one recent commercial that makes the maddest is the one where the guy represents the pharmaceutical companies and gloats how quite a few Americans don't take vacations, thus driving up their profits. It is a commercial for Walt Disney World, I think (ironic, considering how they treat employees).

Six weeks is TOO LONG!!! Take ONE day!!! I know it is tough out there...unemployed now for 21 months! But, what is one day compared to physically wiping yourself out to the point where you can't go to either job or care for your child?!

I don't mean to "jump on you," but I hate to see when people do this and I know that most Americans HAVE TO work themselves to death just to make ends meet! My partner just finished 3 days work in two days! On the fucking weekend! He worked 24 hours total!! It ain't right!

Stay at home, take a bath, play with your kid, make prank phone calls from a neighbor's house...you know...have some fun! :)

[xmas74]

36. Or I could hang out here...

Anything would be better than going in to work tomorrow.

[CanuckAmok]

31. "It was dark...I took the brown acid by mistake."

"And then I heard that it was not specifically too good...unless it's your own trip, then be my guest".

Then hang up.

[xmas74]

33. At least it's not for my full-time job.

The sheriff wouldn't be too happy with that call.
But I would have pulled that off in a hearbeat about 6 years ago.

[ffm172]

35. tell them your daugther is sick

[xmas74]

37. That's usually my favorite excuse.

I am looking for originality today. I think that they might be tired of that one.

[AlienGirl]

38. "I have stomach flu and YOU DON'T WANT IT!"

[xmas74]

39. It is going around here.

Half of my daughter's preschool is out because of it.

[Goldmund]

40. "A telephone poll fell in front of my car and I can't get out of my...

...parking space."

I've actually used that one.

[xmas74]

41. That's just funny.

I do live in the country (cheaper rent) so how about a dead tree?

[Goldmund]

44. There you go.

The reason these kinds of excuses work is because they think you couldn't possibly be brazen enough to make up something that ridiculous.

[xmas74]

47. I know.

Most employers think that employees are rather dumb.

[ffm172]

43. you ate something bad

and keep throwing up. No way they want you to be at work with that.

[xmas74]

46. I am leaning toward that direction.

Simple yet effective.
I like the one about pouring water in the toilet while talking to them, though.

[ffm172]

50. that is definitely a good idea

to make them believe you just threw up. I am so glad that here were I work, I don't need such excuses. I have a really nice boss. I can call in the morning, saying I take a day off or saying, I am not feeling too well, I rather stay home. No problem at all.

[xmas74]

52. I wish that I could.

[xmas74]

54. How are you today?

Are you at work now?

[ffm172]

55. yes I am

doing fine. Saw my bf yesterday and came back this morning. Except being a bit tired. We just slept for maybe 2-3 hrs. How you doing?

[xmas74]

56. Very tired.

Comtemplating whether or not I should call in tomorrow (second job). Had a fundie try to give me a tract today-it didn't go over very well. Other than that, fine.
I'm glad you saw your bf today.

[ffm172]

57. I am so sorry you have such a rough time

decide how you feel tomorrow with your second job. When you use the excuse that you ate something bad and throw up, you can do it shortly before you would have to leave (I hope the grammar is somewhat right).

[xmas74]

58. The grammar is fine.

I am still thinking about what will give the most bang for my buck, as they say. My hands have been cramping up all night from typing so much (back and forth between here and my work).

[ffm172]

59. is there a chance

that you get more work hours again soon? Or are they trying to cut back on the long run?

[xmas74]

60. I think that they are trying to cut back in the long run.

I was in line for another raise (March 1). I would have been one of the highest paid there (and rightfully so. I have more training than any of the others).
Also, if I only work part-time, then I cannot bid on the supervisory position that is opening up (I suspect that I know who they have in mind).

[ffm172]

61. that sucks

do you still apply for the supervisory position? I hate when they cut you back on hours so they can save the money instead of giving you what you deserve.

[xmas74]

62. I can't.

You have to work full-time to apply.
The job market is rotten in this area. I heard that a slaughterhouse is hiring and I am half tempted to apply. At least I would get 50 hours a week plus some sort of benefits-there might even be a union there (I'm not sure).

[ffm172]

63. what kind of job in the slaughterhouse?

is there a chance for you to find a job in another area?

[xmas74]

65. On the line.

I have a degree but I live in a college town, so I am competing for the same job as 100 other people.
I wish that I could move but most of the jobs that I have found have been out of state. My child custody agreement says that if I move out of state I have to go in front of a judge. I tried that 3 times. The judge denied it, stating that my daughter and her father might want to have a relationship in a few years (fat chance of that happening).
I am stuck here for now.

[ffm172]

66. sorry to sound stupid

but what does "on the line" mean?
That is tough completion. but compared to the people who just finished college you do have working experience already. Which is a big plus.
We have a saying here in Germany regarding hiring. The employers always want someone just out of school/university and the experience of a 50 year old. It is sickening

[xmas74]

68. Not stupid at all.

On the line means working in a factory line, doing repetitive work all day long. Probably skinning hams or plucking chickens-I'm not really sure what they kill there:shrug:
Most of the employers around here say that they want experience but then they hire the person right out of college. Why? Because they would have to pay me for the experience, while a person new to the field could be paid very cheaply. :tinfoilhat:
I have gone into interviews where I was informed that I was overqualified. I knew that was code for "We want a kid who doesn't know any better". :grr:

[ffm172]

70. you sure you want to do something like that?

Sounds more like work for someone without your qualities. What I mean is that your brain won't be used and that is getting boring very soon. I worked in a small factory during school breaks and it was boring to do the same move all day long.
That is what I meant, school kid with the experience of someone who worked all his/her life. So they don't have to pay. It gives one the feeling like the people are shit to those employers. All that counts in the money they are making.

[xmas74]

72. It's not something that I really want to do.

But, for the sake of my daugher I will do whatever I have to. She is the only consideration that I can make. It was never about me.
I wouldn't have gone into dispatching if I didn't have my daughter, either.
I just want a job where there are some sort of benefits and maybe a day off, on a decent shift so that my daughter does not have to be farmed out to a babysitter every night. If it means working in a less than wonderful field, then so be it.

[ffm172]

75. I can understand that

but in my experience your well being has to be part of the whole scene also. If you are not happy with your job (not that you sound happy with the job you have right now) it will show on your behavior toward other, including your daughter. I am not saying that you are not a good mother (heaven forbid). I just try to say, that if you are content with your job, you will behave differently. I could see it with my mom. She was not happy with her life and it rubbed off on me and my brother. The atmosphere at home was always tense until my parents separated.

[xmas74]

76. I know how that is.

I try to put aside my work life from my home life. We tend to plan many activities together. She goes to preschool for the socialization and for her to not have to look at Mommy when I am so cranky in the morning.
It could be worse. I have met people who work 3 and 4 jobs.

[ffm172]

77. and * is laughing about that

it is sickening. Thanks for understanding what I was trying to say :)
I think latest when your daughter is coming to school you should try to find a daytime job so you can help her with the homework. But I guess I tell you nothing new. It is upsetting how single moms with kids are being treated nowadays.

[xmas74]

78. He is laughing at that.

There was a woman a month or so ago that he had heard about working 3 jobs. His reply was that it was typically American and that it was fantastic. What is wrong with this picture?

[ffm172]

81. that no one should work more than one job

to earn a living.
And it shows again that he is a spoiled kid who never had to take responsibilities for his action or had to really work his ass off to support his family.
It is sickening.

[xmas74]

82. His daddy and friends of the

family have always supported him. He was a failed businessman many times over and it shows with the way that he is running this country.

[ffm172]

83. I know

it is sickening. Chris Rock brought it to the point last night at the Oscars.
I guess his family still supports him. After all, Rummy and Cheney are old friends of daddy. It makes me wanna throw up every time I see his face on TV. And that is since 2000. And I don't even live in the States and don't have to put up with him as you guys do. My dream is it to live in the States but not with * as president.

[xmas74]

84. my dream is to not have him as a president either!

[ffm172]

86. I know there are a lot of people

who have that dream also and who are living in a nightmare right now. I don't know any other country where you have to work 2-3 or even more jobs to make a living.

[xmas74]

88. This would only happen in

third world countries. Not the developed world.

[ffm172]

89. as long as they keep taking jobs to Asia because labor

is cheaper there and as long as they don't want to see how the own people are suffering because of that it won't change. Unfortunately. And it should be actually the job of the government to make sure that the own people have enough to live on.

[xmas74]

92. I wholeheartedly believe that!

I believe that the government should make sure that their workers are provided for, instead of the workers making sure that the government-and all its officials-are provided for.
Then I wouldn't have to worry about $650 US rents in a small town, or what I will do for medical coverage or even the $400 US that I spend monthly on preschool (and an additional amount on child care).

[ffm172]

94. but with this government you can forget about it

and see how they dissed Hillary when she tried to change the health system. Here in Germany you have to have a health insurance. They take it off right from your paycheck. Of course they change a lot now also because the health system as it is isn't that profitable anymore. But still, we are covered if something is happening

[xmas74]

93. I have about a half-hour left at work

and three memos still to type!
I will catch you later.
Have a wonderful day!:pals:

[ffm172]

95. same to you.

we talk later or tomorrow again :pals:

[bling bling]

48. Here's the best excuse, IMO

"Hi, Mr./Ms. Boss, I can't come into work tonight. It's personal and I really can't talk about it and I really can't come in. I'll most likely be in tomorrow but if not I'll know by X:XX a.m./p.m. tomorrow."

If they if everything's ok tell them yes, but in a slightly concerned and upset tone of voice.

Makes it kind of mysterious. They'll be pissed but yet that will be undermined by the mystery of the reason. And then, never tell them why.

[xmas74]

49. That's an interesting course.

I've never tried that one before (and I've been working since I was 12-paper route).

[HamstersFromHell]

64. Tell them: "The voices in my head told me not to come in...

...unless I can bring my gun as well."

[xmas74]

67. LOL!

that would be a good one. They would probably say to bring the gun too.

[Tracyjo]

69. I have a headache like I've never had

in my life. Don't even call in until half way through the shift. You're SICK!

[xmas74]

73. Play the tumor card.

That takes alot of class to pull that one off (and I don't know if I could manage it!)

[HamstersFromHell]

71. Dug up an old e-mail a friend sent me with a list of excuses...

Some of the more creative ones:

When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. Now I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

The dog ate my car keys. Now we're going to hitchhike to the vet.

I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

I can't come into work today because of eye trouble...I just can't see working today.

My stigmata's acting up.

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Ok?

I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the supermarket.

I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

[xmas74]

74. I really enjoy the stigmata one.

My bosses are RR freepers-that would be a hoot!

[demnan]

79. You have styes on both eyes and can hardly see

(since these usually go away after 24 hours this might work.)

[xmas74]

85. Yuck!

[baron j]

80. Say you are having "bathroom issues." No one will want to quibble

over or discuss that with you, and probably don't want to be around you that day.

[xmas74]

87. I think that everyone has come to an agreement

It will be some combo of a stomach flu/bathroom sort of thing.