What instant changed your life the most and how?

[Quixote1818]

Mine was finding out my brother Died. I was 13 and he was 14 and had been hit by a car while riding a bike. I was picked up by a Police Officer from my friends house (where we were spending the night) and we drove right passed the accident site and all the police cars. Later that night we were told he had only a slim chance to live. Finally, I looked down the hallway and the doctor that came out to talk to us was walking back down the hall toward me with several other doctors and I knew he had died. I had had a very fairytale life up to that point. From then on I realized how fragile life was and what real pain felt like. I don't think I have ever fully recovered from that. It's made me into everything I am from my spiritual beliefs to how I want to impact the world. I guess it allowed me to empathies with others pain and thats why I am such a staunch Democrat and champion of the poor and those suffering.

[xmas74]

1. Having my daughter.

[Seabiscuit]

2. Something in common: having my son.

[xmas74]

6. It doesn't have to be explained.

It just -changes things.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

7. Same here... birth of my son.

My life is so different now, but better too.

[Seabiscuit]

14. Yes, indeed - every day is a precious miracle in my life now.

The only fear I have is of my own mortality and that someday I will no longer have the pleasure of gazing into his eyes.

[bettyellen]

3. pretty much the same story for me.

my two sisters were hit by a drunk driver and died. my parents were in such shock a priest had to tell us. they were 16 and 18 and everything changed and so did me and my brothers. i know exactly how you feel. being so very close in age you must have felt the "why not me" survivor thing even more intensely than we did. sorry about that.

[Quixote1818]

24. Thanks, and sorry to hear about your two sisters. n/t

[ffm172]

4. the fall of the wall in Germany

I grew up in East Germany, so when the wall came down my life changed. I had way more opportunities then before.
Another thing that changed me was the death of my dad at the age of 55. To see him dying was very hard and left a big hole in my life.

[thecai]

5. Bless Your Heart, Quixote1818

I'm sorry you lost your brother at such a young age. But how you've learned and grown from the experience is remarkable. Keep up the good work and appreciation of life. Your brother smiles down on you from Heaven.
My life changed forever when I was plowed off the highway by a hit and run driver.
But that is NOTHING compared to witnessing the injustice a Loved One has suffered, being wrongfully convicted of a crime he did not commit, (via police perjury, bribery, stalking, false testimony, prosecutorial misconduct, plus more, and a BAD Judge who knowingly ALLOWED the corruption). It did motivate me to organize The CAI - Coalition Against Injustice, and raise awareness while exposing and opposing corruption.

[Quixote1818]

25. Hey thanks, your words remind me of a poem I wrote

I see a lot os symbolism in nature that relates to life. What you said about growing from the pain I believe is essential which lead to this poem. I wrote if for kids who went through the death of a family member.


What's A Rainbow Really Do?





Red, yellow, violet, blue,
Orange, green, indigo too.

Here is a little riddle for you,
What's a rainbow REALLY DO?

You see it all started when the earth was young,
And the universe had just begun.

The story of the rainbow came to be,
And with it a message for you and me.

The clouds grew thick and the skies turned gray,
On that mysterious, wonderful, eventful day.

Something magic was in the air,
Something beautiful, something rare.

Violent storm clouds were beginning to grow,
As gusting winds did start to blow.

Then out of nowhere came a brilliant flash,
And seconds later a MIGHTY CRASH!

Blackness overtook the entire sky,
And drops of moisture began to fly.


Dark and gloomy was that day,
Misty, damp with million shades of gray.

But the storm then began to break apart,
And that's when God expressed what was in his heart.

The drops of flying moisture were struck,
By sunlight filled with hope and luck.

Split apart by the raindrops blue,
Creating something of many a hue.

A ribbon of colors began to form,
Snap dab in the middle of that violent storm.

A glowing arch with lots to teach,
And almost impossible to ever reach!

What could it be, what could it be,
Shimmering along the shore of a brackish sea?

It was a GLOWING RAINBOW arching high,
That stretched across the ancient sky!

What a sight it must have been,
The VERY FIRST rainbow as it was then.

From a distance it's majestic gleam,
Shimmering above the rising steam.

While molten lava flowed between,
Ancient mountains into rushing streams.

The surface of the earth was new,
And the earliest oceans were turning blue.

After many years had passed,
Their sprouted a tiny blade of grass.

Soon plants and flowers would begin to bloom,
And natures great riddle would start to boom!

Red, yellow, lavender, blue,
Pink, purple, indigo, too.

Flowers, flowers everywhere,
Painted the landscape with natures loving care.


Microscopic forms of life,
Then became a common sight.

Dinosaurs and mammals too,
Would someday see a rainbows hue.

Primates then would walk the land,
And a million years later our ancestors would stand.

Dreams, inventions not then seen,
Have now become a common theme.

Like super fast computer chips,
And planetary trips on rocket ships.

From mother earth did all this grow,
And through out time all life would know; the beauty of a rainbows glow.

For hidden in the sun and soil,
Is natures riddle in which we toil.

But if you follow a rainbows glow,
The truth thats hidden you will know.

If you're kind and if you're true,
You can certainly see it to.

It's in the golden sun above,
It's in the souls of those you love.

It's in the stars and in the sky,
It's even in mom's apple pie.

What is it you reply?
A piece of magic that will never die.

For all the answers to which we exist,
Lye in the wisdom of a rainbows mist.

Those glowing colors arching high,
Are there to teach your soul to fly.

For every child holds the key,
To all of life's great mysteries.


Though on your own you will find no bliss,
So always, always remember this.

For the most important part of natures great riddle,
Are those who suffer and have very little.

So as you rest in your warm safe home,
Think of those who are all alone, with no one to talk to on the phone.

And think of those who live in pain,
Who's lives depend upon the rain.

When drought and famine plague the land,
They desperately wait for a helping hand.

Or for the day again they will know,
The touch of rain upon their soul, and the beauty of a rainbows glow.

But if you're filled with love and dreams,
You can do most anything!

And with a little love and care,
All pain and hunger can disappear.

And peace on earth can truly be,
The norm for every day to be.

Anything is possible you see,
It's totally up to you and me!

And like a flower what will blossom?
A heaven on earth that's truly awesome!

Red, yellow, violet, blue,
Orange, green, indigo too.

If you follow a rainbows glow,
The truth thats hidden you will know.

So the next time you see a rainbow’s glow
Remember all that you now know.

That love and magic live within,
Everything that’s ever been.

A rainbow is the archway you see,
To love, peace and harmony.

Just remember you hold the key,
To impossible dreams and mystery.


That was the message that lived within,
The very first rainbow as it was then.

Shimmering over the barren land,
Waiting for someone to understand.

The greatest riddle is here at hand,
And impossible dreams can rule the land!

[thecai]

81. Beautiful Poem!

Very comforting, encouraging, and strengthening. It will touch many lives in a healing way. O8)

[Quixote1818]

90. Thanks, actually much of what was written in that poem came not just

from the loss of my brother but the experience I talked about below that you commented on. I think it will give you an idea of some of the things I learned through that experience. When you go through an inspiring experience a person feels the need to express it in poetry or in one way or another.

[yvr girl]

8. What an interesting question

My brother died when I was 15, but that didn't alter my existence. He lived a pretty fast life, and died of an overdose. I didn't expect it, but I wasn't shocked. It did take me 5 years to cry.

I would have to say that the moment that changed me the most is when I kissed a married man. I was 18. It didn't go beyond that, but I considered the offer. I became painfully aware of my moral weakness. Everything I knew about myself wasn't true. It really ripped me up for quite a few years. I emerged a less judgmental person.

[LynzM]

19. Yvr girl...

I had a similar experience, and learning about your own weakness is a difficult thing to stare straight in the face. I agree, if you really analyze and come to terms with it, you do emerge less judgmental. Sucks going through the process, but drives home the point that we are all human, and all fallible...

[yvr girl]

28. Awareness of human frailty is good for the soul

I don't regret my straight and narrow youth but it was good to learn some lessons and develop some empathy.

[MnFats]

9. the birth of my daughter..

it was a very long and hard labor -- 30 or more hours.
my daughter was breech but she was in a perfect jacknife position so they decided to try a vaginal birth, but warned us they might have to do a caesarian at the last minute if the baby was stressed.
When you're the father about all you can do is whisper encouragement, spoon out some ice chips and wipe my wife's forehead with a cool washcloth.
finally the doc caught our little girl and laid her on my wife's belly. She was so exhausted she couldn't lift her head to see the baby.
i leaned in to tell her the baby's gender...we deliberately avoided knowing beforehand.
and i was rendered speechless.
all i wanted to say was 'it's a girl!' but no words would come.
finally a nurse leaned in and said 'it's a girl.'
"Yeah!" i finally got out.
here was this little person, eyes wide open, wriggling and blinking her eyes and god, she was beautiful.
but a little blue. she WAS pretty stressed. they gave her a dose of O2 and she turned a lovely pink.
i knew nothing would ever be thesame.

my deep sympathy to those who had to report such very tragic and sad moments.

[Jamastiene]

10. Making the mistake

of coming out in my small hometown when I was 18 years old. I was a naive trusting 18 year old and didn't have a clue that I'd be attacked physically in ways I'd rather not even talk about for the humiliation involved. Other things happened that I can talk about without getting too depressed. Although these details are depressing, they are not as depressing as the ones I will leave off. I was unaware that preachers would be inundating me with telephone calls, some death threats, some "love" messages of how evil a person I was. I was unaware that my boss would not fire me but arrange to make sure I was sexually assaulted, chanting such slogans as "all that gal needs is the right man and she'll never look at a woman again" and "she deserves it but being a pervert." Not to mention the super hot phone lines in my home town that buzzed with excitement during that initial time. Still today, I'll meet someone new and all of a sudden they'll act different toward me or all of a sudden have nothing to do with me and I'll find out sure as the world, someone "alerted" them to my sexual orientation. These people swear up and down they are open minded around here, but they still hold 1950's like views on race, gender, age, you name it. They definitely aren't ready for gay people, much less transgendered people, which I think I may really be instead of just gay. What I wouldn't do to go back in time and take the 2 opportunities I had at 18 to leave this God forsaken place and never look back. One was to play in an all girl band in Florida and the other was to go to The Recording Workshop in Chillicothe, Ohio. I'd give anything to have taken either of those offers at the time.

[LynzM]

23. I'm so sorry to hear that

That you had to go through that, and continue to have to deal with it. :mad: :grr: I hope that you have the opportunity soon to move to someplace that will accept you for who you are!

[thecai]

82. People Can Be So Cruel!

I'm sorry to hear that, Jamastiene.

[Digit]

85. I am very sorry you had to go through that.

I was the type in high school who would have been your friend, regardless, and I was considered popular. For what reason, I have no idea.
Funny, I have heard from several people in the past few years who found my name on classmates.com and thanked me for being genuine and caring about them. I did not realize I had made such a difference in their lives and their emails brought tears to my eyes.
I wish I could have been there for you, too.
You were being who you were, and I would have respected you for it.
I respect you for posting this message even more.
Look forward, don't look back.

[coloradodem2005]

11. January 31, 2003.

I have told my sob story about how I was screwed over with student teaching. Changed my life for the worse. I'll tell you that. Went from having a future to having nothing.

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

12. Finding Jesus Christ, with garduating from college last May being

a close second.

[Red State Rebel]

37. When my mom died at age 46

I was in my early 20s and it had a profound effect on my outlook on life.

You don't live forever and when it's your time you don't get a chance to do things over. If you are to be happy, you have to make yourself happy and not wait for someone else to do it.

[CanuckAmok]

13. Watching my Mother-inLaw die of breast cancer.

It's kind of a long story, but my ex and I rushed to get married earlier than planned, so her mom could be part of the ceremony. We actually got married in her room in the paliative care ward of the hospital, as she drifed in and out of consciousness. We had about sixty guests in the common room of the ward, with wine and sushi and everything. Because of the layout of the ward, there was only enough room for the marriage commissioner, my wife and I, her dad, my mom, and our witnesses. Nobody in the common area was fully aware of how my mother-in-law's condition had deteriorated ove the night before.

I was 33, and I was the one who walked from the room where she had died, and had to announce to sixty of our friends that the worst had happened.

It was the first time in my charmed life that I'd ever felt completely like an adult, and it was more important to me than anything to maintin my poise, and conduct myself with the utmost composure and maturity, and give the moment the dignity it warranted, when what I really wanted to do was run screaming from everybody and everything.

Since my marriage has recently fallen apart, and the extremely acrimonious nature of our divorce, I have to try extra-hard to not let that event become tainted...and it's very difficult, sometimes.

[izzie]

15. I think having my first child.

Duty with love becomes a word you understand.

[Rowdyboy]

16. The moment I met my partner.....Monday, March 7th, 1989

around 9pm. Its been a wholly different world since then.

[proud2BlibKansan]

53. Hey me too

May 19, 1972

[Tracyjo]

17. My Dad sold my first pony

I loved that animal more than anything a Little kid could love in their life. After he was gone, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer and died. A few years later, my Dad died from a fall. Being an orphan sucks. I'll never be the same again.

[Quixote1818]

29. Dam, I can't imagine loosing both parents and a pony as a child. nt

[Skittles]

18. when I was 14 my dad had a mental breakdown/suicide attempt

and was hospitalized for over a year. We were in England and got sent back to the states - I lived with my aunt and uncle and while I stayed there SHE was also hospitalized following a suicide attempt.
Bothe of them later succeeded in killing themselves.

I'm sorry about your brother - how awfully painful. Like you, I believe my ability to empathize with others without KNOWING their pain came from my childhood. I've always been a staunch defender of the underdog.

[sniffa]

20. my best friend died in 99

i was devastated, and i stiLL am weary of becoming too cLose with anyone now.

[Quixote1818]

36. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I know of a movie you should see

I think I am still single because I have not allowed myself to get too close to anyone for fear something will happen to them. I am a person who loves deeply and since my brother died I pushed away from all kinds of people including my Mother before she died. At her funeral all my brothers and sisters said they did the same thing. We all separated ourselves from her because we could see she was dying. We all felt guilty and that perhaps our pulling away may have caused her to die faster. The lesson I learned is that no matter how much pain their may be after someone goes you must be their for them! I suggest you see the movie "Shadowlands" about the life of CS Lewis. Two other good movies that helped me dealing with the death of a loved one and the importance of growing and learning to love life again are "Harold and Maude" and "My life".

I suggest you see all three of those movies. They helped me a lot.

[SarahB]

21. The night my boyfriend asked me to marry him....

And I said, "Sure, just this once, I won't worry about the condom."

[all.of.me]

22. finding my birthmother last year

that was bigger than having children. after a life of uncertainty, i feel more grounded than ever before.

[Quixote1818]

26. Interesting, how did your foster parents treat you?

[all.of.me]

50. i was adopted, not in foster care

the family i was put with, sorry to say, was very cold, unloving and unemotional. life was materialistic - stuff, country clubs, private schools, etc. - but it lacked love. it was boring and gloomy.

but i found out that my biological family was filled with trauma. it would make a great soap opera. i am so sensitive, i could not have dealt with it. i had a dream a few months ago about 'Providence, it's all Providence.'

so i looked up providence, and it said 'the protective care of god or nature.' i'd like to think i was being protected, and maybe from more than i'm even aware of.

it's in the past. i'm coming to terms with it. my biological mother still does not speak with me (it's been almost a year), but that is her own grief over giving up a baby. she never saw me.

i do have a half sister whom i email with regularly, and we have talked on the phone. she is the go-between, and does not want to push anything with our mother. who knows what their family dynamics are?!

i just feel better knowing i found the right woman after 25 years of searching on and off, and after 50 years of wondering what the fuck happened!

[Quixote1818]

52. Question

So are you more happy now? I hope so.

[all.of.me]

64. absolutely!

knowing after so many years that my mother is alive and that she at least acknowledges that i exist - that was enough to ground me, give me some point of reference, and allow me to work through the issues all adult adoptees have. i have never felt more content than i do these days. thanks for asking.

[Quixote1818]

68. Good to hear it.

:bounce:

[the Princess]

27. The moment I layed eyes on my husband

I knew I would marry him the minute our eyes met. He changed my life ins o many many ways for the better. :)

[4_Legs_Good]

30. Wow, so many serious and often sad responses...

I'd almost say it was the first time I smoked pot, but that would sound oh so shallow! I don't know, it just kinda helped me open up from being a rigid conservative Democrat, I guess. Now I'm a raving liberal, and don't get me wrong, I never became a pot head or anything, it just let me see that some of the sh*t I've been taught in my life didn't really add up.

The birth of my son was certainly life changing, as was my wife *FINALLY* falling in love with me (after we'd known each other for years, and I'd of course had a crush on her the whole time).

Those three are the biggies.

I'm glad I haven't had any catostrophic close deaths yet. I have a feeling they'll be coming in the not too distant future.

david

[Quixote1818]

38. Yes, many sad responses but the key is what to do with the pain

It sounds like many people here used their pain to become better kinder people. Death is a big learning experience and like any learning experience it can help you grow and be a better person.

[4_Legs_Good]

41. I think you're right

Most of the people close to me that have died lived really good, really long lives, so it wasn't so sad. It's gonna be very difficult when someone I know intimately dies prematurely or after a difficult battle with disease.

I hope that I can deal with it well when it comes...

david

[Quixote1818]

44. I have three movies I suggest for people who have to deal with death

"Shadowlands", "Harlod and Maude" and "My life". When that day comes I suggest you talk about the pain and how you feel as much as possible until it won't come up any more then watch one or all of these movies. They are all very inspiring.

[4_Legs_Good]

47. I thought Magnolia was a great movie about death

especially the imminent kind. It was a great movie in general, so maybe I'm biased!

Shadowlands was good too!

david

[Donailin]

93. The day I went online with my new computer,

which was back in 1995. Having been a stay at home mother with no intellectual stimulation from my exhusband, I happily discovered that I had opinions on many different things and I had this intense desire to know more about everything that no one I knew talked about. Being diven out of my home by age 15(which is a different kind of suffering than others here, but suffering nonetheless)and forced to drop out of school so I could support myself, I missed so much that so manny others take for granted. The internet changed my life. Absolutely.

[VOX]

31. My dad's sudden death when I was a very young man...

It was a blast of mortality that simultaneously laid me low, and yet provided some personal velocity in some weird way.

His death also set in motion a 20-year pattern within my surviving family, and a difficult one at that (one which cost me at least two relationships, and nearly drove me to suicide at one point). That pattern only just recently crumbled, finally, and for all time.

It was worth the long wait -- at long last, I feel like I can breathe again, and can live my own life.

[RevolutionaryActs]

32. August 10th, 1996.

It was a Saturday.

My dad died of a heart attack. It was very sudden.

I was in my room, because I was kind of in trouble for doing something, I was only 10. Then I heard my mom scream my dads name and then "call 911!"

I came out of my room and my older brother took my outside to the carport. It took forever for the ambulance to arrive. My friend next door came out and waited with my brother and I. Then after a little while the medics came out with an empty gurney followed by my mom sobbing.

[Quixote1818]

39. How has that changed you if at all?

[RevolutionaryActs]

43. I'm not sure how you can ask that.

How didn't it change my life? I understand death, I understand that life can be gone in the blink of an eye, a very big lesson to learn when you're 10.

It also changed how I act around the people that I love. You need to tell the people you love, that you love them. Because you never know when they'll be gone.

[Quixote1818]

45. Your first post was so well written I could tell it had a powerful impact

on you.

[RevolutionaryActs]

46. Oooh ok, I misunderstood your post.

D'oh.

:hi:

[Mrs_Beastman]

33. there are two

Meeting Mr B...he reminds there is a reason to smile even when things are not going well. Second is when I declared bankruptcy after some medical issues...I swore not to get myself in that position again.

[InvisibleTouch]

34. Moving, around age 10/11.

We'd moved all over the world prior to that point, but from age 7 or 8 to 10 or 11, we spent 3 years in one place for the first time - longer than we'd ever been anywhere. I was starting to be of an age where my world was expanding - I had friends at school, places to hang out after school, favorite TV shows, knew my way around the neighborhood, had my secret haunts and favorite places, and had really relaxed into the place, and felt reasonably at home there (despite a constant undercurrent of yearning for some other place and time). Then it was all shattered - I left behind my friends, my family, my familiar surroundings, and worst of all my dog. It sounds tame compared to some of the other life-changing events in this thread, but I know that was a turning point in my life. How very different things would have been for me, if my family hadn't moved. I'd have felt more secure and safe in the world, for certain. But I also might never have pursued some of the ambitions that I did, or been motivated to create my own place in the world one day. Although the opinions of others were always more-or-less irrelevant to me, I became even more determined to simply live life on my own terms. Overall it was a negative change, but it did have a few positive side-effects.

[ConcernedCanuk]

62. I can relate to that, brought back intense memories - -

.
.
.

Lived in one place till I was 14, in a modest sort of town

Then moved between grade 9-10 to a middle upper class place, lost all my life-long friends, and stll dressing like a pauper in comparison

They got Cadillacs, Stocks and Bonds, etc., for their birthdays, -

We got underwerar . .

One heck of a transition . . .

[Redstone]

35. When I rode the skid

after having been told a number of times not to ride the skid.

I found out why it was a bad idea shortly thereafter, and still walk with a limp 33 years later because of it.

Redstone

[CitySky]

40. baptism.

darkness --> light. Acts 2:38-42 for further details.

But i was a Democrat before AND after. ;)

[CO Liberal]

42. A Few

In no particluar order, other than chronological:

1 - The moment in 1975 that I saw my newborn son for the first time. That meant I was no longer a child.

2 - The moment that I first held my newborn daughter, 18 months later. I remember saying that she "looked like a little angel". And I called her Little Angel for many years after that.

3 - The day my father died in 1991. There were so many things I never had the time to say to him, and I never would get the chance.

4 - The night I met The Princess, shortly after my father died. Both our lives have changed in the 13 years since, adn I can't imagine life without her.

5 - The night my mother died in 1998. She was my biggest booster, and always believed in me. And I never really thanked her....

[luvLLB]

48. when both of my parents died.

I was able to be with both of them at the end. It really made an impact on my life.

[SW FL Dem]

49. Two things

First the moment my Dad died. He had been suffering from congestive heart failure for years but noone knew how sick he really was. He went into the hospital because he got the flu and the doctors were afraid of pneumonia. All of a sudden he went into a total system shut down, first his kidney, then the liver and finally his heart gave out. I was in my first year of grad school across the country. I was on the phone with a friend and all of a sudden I knew something was terribly wrong. I got quiet and told my friend I had to go. I looked at the clock, it was 12:15. The next morning my mom called really early and told me that my Dad had died. He died at 9:15 (12:15 where I was). I learned then just how fragile life is and how important family was to me.

The second moment was when I got the call that a baby boy had been born and that his birth mom had chosen us to be his parents. The mother had to wait 3 days to sign the surrender papers, it was the longest 3 days of my life. It took 3 weeks to get the adoption paperwork in order. I'll never forget the moment they placed my beautiful son in my arms. I knew my life was changing in a wonderful way. I was a mom and was responsible for another life. I'm happy to say that my son will be 14 this month and is well- balanced, respectful, liberal Democrat. I must have done something right.

[DrZeeLit]

51. 3 Moments all involve my father.

It's 1970 and my parents find out I've had sex with my boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend. The one they told me I couldn't date (of course). I went home from college (I was a freshmen at 17 with a full scholarship) to face the confrontation. My dad gave me a black eye. Which was weird, because he never hit me -- I was the first child, and we were particularly close. I left home, ran off and married the guy, quit college, became a waitress, and didn't talk to my family for quite some time.

Four years later, there I was 8 months pregnant, when the husband splits (and I've never seen him again). I call my parents. They come to get me. I'm standing in my apartment, and my dad walks in. All I can do is cry and say, "After all I put you through." And my dad just says, "We love you and we're taking you home." Yes, it's a three hankie moment.

But here's the ending. Years pass. I have this life I fashioned after all the heartache. It's glossy on the outside, hollow on the inside. I raise my son, remarry a wonderful older man who adopts him, get 3 college degrees, and live in a home on a country club. But I'm miserable. I gave up all my dreams to be this, this, this... person who is vapid and empty and a trophy wife. The only thing I can say for myself at that point is that I am an awesome mother (but that's another story).

My father is diagnosed with prostate cancer. I can't ride to the rescue. He dies. It's horrible to watch. And I still can't get that moment outta my head. And I miss him EVERY day... BUT... his death made me face my life. I went into therapy, personal growth work, and became MYSELF. I left the marriage, claimed my dreams, and am living them. If my dad had not died, I wouldn't be where I am today. And even though I'd give my left arm to have him back, I still have to say that his death was a gift.

I still hear him talk to me, especially when I'm in the most fear or pain. I know when I did the big "act out" at 17 that his anger was about how I abandoned myself. I don't know what I believe in as far as if he can see who I am or not. I'm glad that I'm being true to myself.

And ...those are the moments.

[parsifal_e]

89. you made me cry....

God bless you .

[nytemare]

54. Being blamed for the death of a child I tried to help in Iraq

I would really have to say 2 things, all within a two year time span. Shortly after I graduated, four of my best friends died in a car accident. Facing that much loss at a young age was shattering. I felt that somehow part of me must live the life they weren't given a chance to live.

Then, in '91, I was deployed to Northern Iraq from April to July. One day my team was returning from Southern turkey, and an 8 year old girl was hit by a truck that drove away. We loaded her into a car, and followed the car to the clinic, which was a building with blown out ceilings. The doctor told us the young girl died as we carried her in. Her mother was praying and screaming. Well, when we got back to camp I got an ass chewing by my sergeant who said he heard I hit and killed a girl, and that I didn't have permission to leave base camp(which I got from my LT). That taught me not to be so naive, and to wait before you make judgements on who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. Not everything was as black and white as it was in childhood.

[Quixote1818]

72. Amazing story but at least you know the truth and the truth is that you

are a good person!

[nytemare]

77. I hope so.

Thanks

[thecai]

83. What A Nightmare, Nytemare!

False accusations can destroy lives. Especially when you're already grieving for the person's death. It's good you learned not to judge, and I hope you find comfort knowing the truth.

[nytemare]

86. I am fine with it now

There are times watching stuff about the war now that I will be bothered, but overall I think I am ok.

Thank you.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

55. Four, in order

My grandfather, with whom I was really close, died when I was eleven. Although other relatives had died, he was the first one whose absence made a difference in my life. For a couple of years afterward, I was obsessed with reading real tearjerker novels and seeing sentimental movies.

High school was miserable: I was bored wiith my classes, my parents were overly strict, and I didn't fit in socially. But one day during my junior year, I went to the University of Minnesota campus for a day-long seminar for high school newspaper writers. I skipped out on the sessions and just explored the campus. For the first time, I realized that there was a life beyond high school and that I only needed to hang in there for two more years.

Fast forward to my senior year in college. I'm a liberal arts major who has decided not to get a teaching certificate. I consider graduate school, but which of my many interests should I pursue? How can I pay for it? One of my options is linguistics, so I start taking the introductory sequence at the University of Minnesota on a cross-registration agreement with my college. One day, the regular linguistics classroom is being painted, so we are relocated to a different room, which happens to be across the hall from the East Asian Language Department's bulletin board. There's where I see the announcement of Cornell's new intensive Asian language program, where one could get full government fellowships to study Japanese, Chinese, or Thai. I copy down the address.

Fast forward about twenty years. I am a professor of Japanese at a small college. It is January Term. I am not teaching, but I come to campus to prepare for the spring semester. I decide to check my mail, and there is an envelope from the Rank, Tensure, and Sabbatical Committee. It tells me I have been denied tenure. (For those of you who don't know how academia works, that means that I'm fired as of the end of the next year.) I had thought of leaving that college after getting tenure, but now I have to leave. This is the beginning of my new career.

[Blue_In_AK]

56. I had two such instants.

My older brother was killed in a hunting accident when I was 7, and my mother was killed in a car wreck almost exactly a year later. Changed my life forever.

[steve2470]

57. my real spiritual encounter

1-13-1978, I can never forget it. Rather private thing.

:argh:

[Quixote1818]

70. I had one as well. Not something I share with more than a handful

of people I really trust. Some things happened that I can NEVER explain. It started when I was was sitting in my truck overlooking the lights of the town I lived in. I was in a very inspired mood and my life was going really well at the time. I sat their self actualized and asked God or the force or whatever what I could do to make a positive difference in the world and man was that the beginning of a rollar coaster that can NEVER be explained in words and no one would EVER understand so I don't even bother trying to explain it. It's between me and the big guy/woman out their.

[steve2470]

71. thanks for sharing !

:-)

[Quixote1818]

73. Hey thank you and buy the way

It was tha experience that lead to my handle Quixote1818. "To Dream The Impossible Dream...."

[thecai]

84. That, Too

When I was 18 I witnessed something I can only share with a handful of people, but it did teach me A LOT that I've been able to help others with. My son witnessed the exact same thing at the same place, but he knew what to do because I had told him of my experience. It's amazing and I wish I could "tell the world", but unfortunately, no can do.
It did impact and affect my life, while it strengthened my faith in GOD.

[ScreamingMeemie]

58. That instant when a doctor told my husband that there wasn't anything

they could do for me. And I looked up and thought perhaps it was the last time I would look upon his gentle face...and the thought of never seeing my children again. It's made me appreciate...just breathing and being. :hi:

[noshenanigans]

59. I was hit by a car..

coming home from networking at the Improv in Hollywood (I'm a comedian, and was trying to meet people). Coming home towards Mullholand Drive, going up Beverly Glen... an SUV hit me. He was driving on a suspended license, and just crashed into me.

I don't remember it. According to the police report, the women behind me stopped and tried to keep me awake, and I told the ambulance people my roommate's phone number. The only thing I remember, though, is waking up at UCLA. I had to come home to North Carolina in a wheelchair. I'm so, so, so lucky to still have my leg because if another 1/2 inch had been cut, I would have been in the wheelchair forever.

That was a year and a half ago. I had to learn to walk again (and I spent 2 weeks trying to move my fingers), and 2 months after my accident my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer, so this has all been the most trying time in my 25 year life.

I'm stronger for it, though. I'm a fighter, and I'm a Democrat.

[Quixote1818]

76. Wow, you are one tough customer nt

[bilgewaterbill]

60. Losing my Dad.

Died 10 yrs. ago Sunday. Never sick. Never got to say good-bye.

[ConcernedCanuk]

61. Wasn't realy an instant - But I read a book as a teen

.
.
.

On The Beach by Nevil Shute

"The residents of Australia after a global nuclear war must come to terms with the fact that all life will be destroyed in a matter of months."


I never saw the movie, but the review gives you more of the story

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0053137/

I have lived with this "story" as a reality all my life -

OH

I read the book in the mid-sixties . . .

And now,


It looks like GW is gonna make it happen

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

63. Being present to a murder

My highschool boyfriend was working at the grocery store near my home. Three kids came in and robbed the store. One had a sawed off shot gun. They made us all lie down on the floor. They made my friend empty all the registers and then asked him to open the safe. He said he didn't have the key. They realized he recognized them from school...and shot him...I literally could see parts of his body come out his back from the hole it blew through him as I laid there on the floor.

IT set off a chain of events in my life that are with me to this day in terms of consequences.

[Maddy McCall]

66. Hugs to you, Teena.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that at such a young age. I can't even imagine the pain that you still carry.

That's something you can't forget. I had an experience that was similar, but not nearly as violent as you described. It's still with me...I can't imagine having the memory of what you witnessed burned in my brain.

Love you. :hug:

[Quixote1818]

69. I cant imagine. Thats something that would leave me messed up.

[RetroLounge]

65. June 1st, 1990

My last drink...

RL

[Maddy McCall]

67. January 30, 2003. I ran a go-cart off of a bridge and...

I don't even want to talk about it, but it made me realize my and my son's mortality. The trauma is something with which my son and I both still wrestle.

[Wapsie B]

74. The day in 1979

when I attended college for the last time for about 20 years. I really didn't have a sense of direction at the time. Originally I had wanted to be a band director but on going through music school I had this gut feeling that this was not for me. I don't feel I had a lot of guidance along the way. There's really not been a teacher at any level of schooling I've had where I felt they cared for me as a person. No one took an interest in me. No one gave me any indication as to what I should be doing with my talents or that I had any talents at all for that matter. And as confused as I was at the time that just added to my frustration with school. So my grades suffered and I dropped out.

Instead of trying to find what I loved to do I searched for something where I could go to trade school and be working in a short period of time. My foray into nursing was a real eye-opener, working as a nurse assistant in a nursing home. It was miserable work and unrewarding for me. But I thought I needed to punish myself for failing at school. The one thing it did teach me is to stay the hell away from nursing. It just wasn't for me at all.

But then again I've yet to be in what I would call a nurturing environment where my interests and skills are utilized and I am encouraged to grow as a person. Why I stay in healthcare is beyond me other than I'm punishing myself again. I'm beating myself up for a lot of things in my life.

Fastforward 20 years. At long last I quit beating myself up over quitting school and buckled down to finish. I left school in '79 with 85 credit hours. But with a family and bills I could afford to take only 1 or 2 classes a semester. Eventually all my hard work paid off. The sense of closure and completion was overwhelming that day I heard my name being read by the Dean of the college as I accepted my diploma.

[Bouncy Ball]

75. That's easy. The instant a nine pound baby girl

exited my body.

[KG]

78. when i was 9 y.o. and i realized i was a heterosexual.

[leftofthedial]

79. well, there's all the usual death and love and kids being born stuff . . .

But I think it was Dec. 12, 2000. That's when everything changed. It's been steadily spiraling downward in every possible way ever since.

[Radical Activist]

80. When Bush was first elected

It determined the direction of my life for the next four years. I'm trying to figure out a future that doesn't revolve around fighting an asshole in the White House for another 4 years.

[thecai]

87. Thank You For Sharing

This thread is inspiring and thought-provoking, and renews my appreciation of life.
I hope everyone finds comfort, and those with joyous stories keep joyfull.

[Quixote1818]

91. Thanks for the appreciation.

Every once in a while it's nice to talk about things that are the most meaningfully to people and it seems that is what this thread did. Gave people a chance of some of the things that changed them and made them into the people they are today.

[regnaD kciN]

88. Sometime in late 1963...

...when my parents broke the news to me that my father had been transferred, and that we would be moving to Europe. At the time, it wasn't certain whether we'd be in London or Geneva (it turned out it was the latter).

At the time, I was seven years old, and a typical Southern California surburban boy just like lots of others in that neighborhood. Had I stayed, I would probably have fit right in for most of my life.

Instead, I found myself in a foreign culture just as the sixties were starting to emerge as a new zeitgeist (and just after the other day that changed my life, when JFK's assassination blew away any notion that the world was a stable or safe place). I had to adjust to a new language, a very different educational system, and generally a whole other way of doing almost everything. (Not to mention the effect of going from sun to snow, from palms to pines, from beaches to Alps, and from a place where a twenty-year-old building is considered ancient to a place where a hundred-year-old building is considered new.)

It's where I learned to value something other than Disney and cheeseburgers, where I learned to see that America wasn't at the center of everything, and that there were other places in the world (and other ways of living) with as much or more to commend them than the good 'ol U. S. of A.

It's also where I learned to be an outcast. In the last of our three years there, anger at the U.S. role in Vietnam spilled over into my daily life. Suddenly, at a new school, I was the "American kid," or, more likely, the "American pig," and being physically attacked during recess because of my nationality became commonplace.

Even when our time there was over, we didn't return to the comfortable L.A. existence I had known. Instead, my father got transferred to the Greater Boston area, where I now became the "foreign pig" or simply the "fag" (since having European mannerisms and a French accent surely meant that one was a "'mo"). As it turned out, I didn't return to Southern California to live until graduate school, slightly more than twenty-five years after I left.

I often think that, had we not left L.A., my life would have been a lot easier, but it would also have been a lot less interesting. Most likely, I would have just remained an average California kid and then teen, having the same experiences and worldview as everyone else, with the same sort of middle-class adulthood on the horizon. But I would never have learned so much about either the world or myself, and never had to do the hard job of finding what was important to me.

[Donailin]

92. The timing of this thread is remarkable to me

b/c just yesterday I was thinking that a life without a good measure of suffering may never have the balanced perspective a human needs in order to truly love one another. Doesn't it make sense?

[steve2470]

94. kick

[Magrittes Pipe]

95. When my daughters came into my life.

[Evergreen Emerald]

96. My life changing event was when I discovered my husband lied

I married young, and he was my first and only love. I trusted him with my heart and soul. We were married with a baby and I found out he had a girlfriend. And then "friends" told me about all the other women. He had never been faithful to me. And he had never been honest with me. The realization that our life was a lie and our future was built on quick-sand devastated me.

I am not the same person. I of course kicked him out of the house. I went back to school, got a law degree and was single for 10 years. It took me a long time to trust again.

On a happier note: My boyfriend asked me to marry him, and we became engaged in November.