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I need to stop spending money/buying things... any tips?

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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 12:54 PM
Original message
I need to stop spending money/buying things... any tips?
I think I'm a spend-a-holic. I love eBay and Amazon and any number of online shopping outlets, which are great relievers of boredom while I'm here at work.

Also, I have an obsessive/compulsive streak which means I get something planted in my mind that I simply must have and while I may put off buying it for any number of weeks, it's always there, and I *must* have it. I love to collect things and I can't stand the idea of something slipping through my fingers that I will regret not obtaining when I had the chance.

In my own defense, the stuff I'm into totally rocks, and not junk or anything, and I have this need to preserve stuff. A lot of times it's software that I need for a project I'm working on (hobby) or some new hobby I want to develop.

All that said a lot of times I can see stuff that I simply *had* to have 10 years ago, that I never really quite used.

Anyway, expenses are mounting and I still think I'm the $ hole in the bucket. Stupid credit cards in college got me into the mode that I can defecit spend and make up for it later... problem is I'm always defecit spending. I need to learn to save for purchases.

I sound like I'm 12 years old!

david
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Ready4Change Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
1. Quit your job. See how fast your bank accounts evaporate.
If that doesn't get you to curb your spending, nothing will.
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Bank a-whatnow?
Never heard of 'em.

david
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Ready4Change Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 03:26 PM
Response to Reply #4
26. Oh! Nevermind.
:)
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LoZoccolo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
2. To keep me on budget...
...I take out all of my "walking around" money at the beginning of the month, and check it every few days to make sure I have an amount commeasurate with how many days are left until the next month.
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. How can you afford all the latest Oasis bootlegs that way???
It's gotta drive you nuts! Even tape trading can get expensive.

:)

david
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LoZoccolo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:01 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. I actually don't have any bootlegs of them.
I would not copy their music without permission. They do have live things which they release as b-sides, like their cover of "I Am The Walrus", and released a live album titled Familiar to Millions.
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barbaraann Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:00 PM
Response to Original message
5. Read "The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight."
It will open your eyes and help you stop consuming.
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #5
12. I'll look it up.
Thanks!

david
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barbaraann Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #12
17. You're welcome.
What's great about it is that it offers solutions as well as presenting problems.
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. there are groups you can go to if you really think it's a serious
problem ala addiction. Shopoholics anonymous maybe, look it up on google....but don't click on any ads!
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:14 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. I doubt it's that serious, but it's definitely some kinda compulsion
and perhaps should be treated as such.

And it's not that I spend myself out of house and home, just that I'm living just outside my means, which makes living a month to month deal and dumps any chance of savings.

My wife is a bit guilty as well, but I'm definitely the more guilty. We also feed off each other in a bad way. If she gets to buy X then I get to buy Z, and in the meantime I've also bought a, b and c (small purchases, but they add up).

david
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. if you are living outside of your menas that i'd say you do have a problem
you should sit down and figure out how much exactly you are spend on these purchases, it might make an impact if you write it out and study it. I used to buy a lot of magazines everyweek and than one day i was looking at a stack that was about 2 weeks old and i added it up, it turns out i was spend almost $40 a week....on magazines!!! I just stopped buying them and now the only 2 i get i subscribe to by mail.
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 06:24 PM
Response to Reply #13
27. Yeah, definitely a problem...
but I don't know that it's a Spenders Anonymous level problem yet, though it may be. I've done this for pretty much my whole adult life - living just beyond my means.

I know exactly where you're coming from on the magazines too! Sounds very familiar...

david
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SnowGoose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:02 PM
Response to Original message
8. you might have a compulsive disorder...
I haven't seen any misleading video clips of you, so of course I couldn't diagnose you, but there are people who experience the inability to control impulsive spending as a manifestation of psychiatric problems.

I'm just saying.

Now leave me alone, this bitchin' auction ends in 5 minutes...
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #8
14. I am SO going to outbid you on that!
You shouldn't even bother!

david
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Kilroy003 Donating Member (543 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
9. You might try actually working at work.
That will alleviate at least some of the boredom.

That being said, I ought to get back to work...
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:11 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. You know, I've tried that...
it doesn't work!

Stupid work!

david
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amazona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:19 PM
Response to Original message
15. I collect too and here are a few suggestions
You can collect and not go into debt. Indeed, you can even upgrade your collection without going into debt. Sometimes and I have done this myself, you could even make money while continuing to upgrade your collection, but the late 1990s are over, so we won't be that ambitious. I will tell you what I did, and you can take away what you can use.

1. Never, never buy any non-consumable until another non-consumable has left the house. Keep a Post-It on your refrigerator or near your grocery list. Every time you sell something from your collection or every time you donate or throw out an old piece of crap, then you can put a tick on the Post-It note. Every time you buy something, you cross off a tick. No ticks, no buy. No matter how great the deal. This motivates you to clear out the older stuff and to sell, donate, freecycle, re-gift, or just plain throw it away. You find yourself wanting to keep ahead of the game, so you will have a tick free to spend when a REAL deal comes along.

2. Don't visit shopping sites for entertainment. Don't go to flea markets, shows, or stores for entertainment. Go only when you have "ticks" to spend AND cash in pocket. Pay only cash for collectibles and ask for the cash price. Sometimes walk away while dickering even if you don't want to.

3. Pick a focus for your collection. "Software" is a big category. What kind of "software" do you want to preserve and why? I don't know enough about it to give you examples in that area, but I used to collect anything that was well-priced and in good condition. No more. Now I only buy items that I KNOW I can re-sell or else I only buy items that fit into my particular collections. Before, I had books, dishes, bottles, fossils, minerals, toys, stuffed animals, you name it, I probably had one. I kept every Science Fiction book I ever bought. After, I sold all the fiction books that were not by my favorite authors and all the nonfiction books that I wouldn't use and re-use. I sold or donated every last one of the toys and stuffed animals, and most of the dishes and bottles. Finally -- and this is the fun part -- I made a catalog of the core of my mineral collection. I saw I had some inferior specimens from when I was a beginner. For instance, let's say I had 10 amethysts. I sold all the lesser specimens and kept the very best. In another case, I sold several dozen pounds of agate and then had plenty of cash to buy the one specimen I truly wanted. (I actually made money and income to report on that deal, whoo hoo.) Now, I realize that software gets dated, and you may not be able to resell the older parts of your collection. But if you have something truly value-less...be brave. Toss It Out!

4. Have a firm rule that if you don't have room for an item, you don't buy it, no matter how great this is. (Might not work for software but it certainly keeps me from over-spending.)

5. When meeting with other people who share your hobby, find out who is interested in swaps. I've gotten a few nice things this way at no cost, and it also puts me in contact with people who know where to get other nice specimens. Just knowing that lots of nice stuff is available and you CAN locate it again even if you don't jump on some EBay auction...that really helps stop you from panic buying.

6. Don't get into new hobbies when you haven't achieved what you hoped out of the old hobby. This is the hardest one to do but if you don't get strict with yourself, you will always be on the surface, and never enjoy getting really deep into an interest or having a real success or expertise with it. Life is short, and we have to make choices. If you have not pursued a hobby in many years, give yourself a weekend or two to go over the equipment and see if the spark returns. If it doesn't, sell that equipment and put the money into the hobby where the spark is still alive. You are going to find the deepest friendships and adventures by focusing on one to three hobbies rather than flitting from place to place and being a nobody in a thousand different hobbies.

7. Don't overlook your elders in your hobby. An "Elmer" as they used to call them in ham radio can be very useful in passing on information and even used equipment. This saves time and money, and builds connection with other people in your hobby. I know that clubs can be full of politics and back-biting, but dip a toe into the community from time to time to expose yourself to like-minded people.

If it sounds like I've said more about changing your life than about saving your money, I guess I have. These steps have gone far beyond taking my hobbies and collections from money drain to money producer. They have indeed improved my life and my connection with my hobby. I wish you the same good fortune.



The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72




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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 02:17 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. Thanks Amazona!
Wow! Thank you for the great reply...

I think the nature of our collections might be slightly different, though, but many of your points still apply.

Most of the stuff that I collect I never plan to part with, and a lot of it is more mundane than your cool stuff. I guess I can break it into four main categories.

1. Entertainment stuff - books, dvds, audiobooks (I have a long commute), music, video games

2. Hobby support stuff - Software (for example, dvd editing software), animation books, computer upgrades to run video games, dvd editing software, etc.

3. "Unique" collectables - Animation cels, prints, unique items relating to films, out of print books, out of print films

4. Genuine hobby collectable stuffs - Stuff related to the JFK assassination, musical bands, political stuff, etc.

Another main expenditure is project support - Like I just installed a solar panel/battery system to power lights in my shed - $375. Probably didn't need to be done, but I got it stuck in my head that it was a good idea, and just *HAD* to do it. I spend a lot on gardening, and countless other home projects.

And then I also get stupid stuff in my head - like all of a sudden I need some ancient roman coins, just because they're so damned cool, and wouldn't it be neat to clean them and that kinda thing. Another good one is during the leadup to the Iraq conquest, I was SICK of any kind of mainstream media, so I *HAD* to get a shortwave radio so that I could try to get RFPI and any kinda of other media from elsewhere in the world. It was a good idea, but you know, with some clever internet browsing, I coulda got just about anything I wanted streaming, plus in order to really get good reception, I think you have to go all out. In the end I spent maybe $450 on a system that is now not being used.

Lastly, in the vein of preservation and relating to out of print stuff, I often will need to acquire an old Laser Disc of a film (or the like) of something that's not receiving proper treatment in DVD release (e.g. Some Gilliam movies recieved great treatment by Criterion in LD format, but have been skunked in DVD format (Fisher King, Baron Munchausen). And my biggest projects are with films that have completely gotten the shaft and I try to reconstitute a real special edition DVD from stuff that *should* have been on a true collector's DVD. This can be VERY expensive, because I have to track down tons of stuff, and spend a ton of time bringing everything together. Kinda a waste, considering only a handful of people actually care, but still, a major compulsion of mine, and a hobby I do enjoy.

Still I think what you said about choosing hobbies is something I really have to consider because there simply is not enough $ and DEFINITELY not enough time at this point in my life to adequately explore all the hobbies I'm interested in.

I think a lot of it also has to do with looking to the bright shiny day of retirement (30+ years off!) when I'll actually get to breathe in deep, have a beer and enjoy all the stuff I've collected. As like as not, by then I'll be into something else.

Anyway, thanks again. Sorry to go on at such length!

david
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amazona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. another quick suggestion
I'm not very knowledgeable about your interests which makes it tough to give too much money-saving advice but for the first area -- books, DVDs, Audiobooks -- I check out books and audiobooks weekly from my public library. Then I need only buy the ones I can't get in a timely fashion there or else the ones I've already tried and know I will want to keep. DVDs, I just rent, however, this may not be a practical suggestion for you since your interests are clearly so strong in the area of media. One thing I did with my extra books was to check half.com and Amazon.com and to sell the books that had decent prices that I no longer wanted to keep... it is a little bit of a hassle to mail them on time but then you do get a little extra cash and space for new stuff.

Don't worry about going on "at such length," I'm the champion of ramblers myself.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72


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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 02:59 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. Yeah, there's definitely something with me collecting media
I *love* having a huge library of stuff media related. I love being able to walk over and pick up any film that I might want to watch and watch it. I also love to lend out stuff that I have.

I should, however, definitely use the library for stuff that's likely to only be used once - fiction books and audio books. And anything that I want a permanent copy of I can buy after having read it.

I love libraries! I should use them more!!!

One of the last great social programs!!

Thanks again!

david
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ZenLefty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 01:22 PM
Response to Original message
16. Two elements of a good budget:
1) Making it.
2) Following it.

When making a budget, be sure to give yourself some money to play with. Figure out your bills, stuff you have to pay and don't have a choice about. What's left over goes either into savings or play money. Put as much as you can into savings, but make sure to take out enough enough to play with. If you don't, you'll break your own rules, and won't follow your budget.

What worked for me was I would pull out cash every paycheck, and told myself that's all I got to spend until next paycheck. If my wallet was empty, I had to wait until I got paid again.


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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 02:24 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. I'm good at step 1, not so good at step 2, though
I like the idea of carrying around cash, but the problem is that I don't spend most of my money in cash, but rather electronically (PayPal is my best friend), and keeping a log is you know, less concrete than the actual cash in hand.

I'll see if i can't figure out some kinda comprimise, though.

budget. Right!

david
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MissB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 02:26 PM
Response to Original message
20. Check out "Your Money or Your Life" by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin
It may help you get a new attitude about money and spending.
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #20
24. Will do! thanks
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harper Donating Member (699 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 07:08 PM
Response to Reply #24
33. I second that
What an awesome book. Completely changed the way I look at money and the stuff out there to buy.
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tsakshaug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 02:29 PM
Response to Original message
22. cancel all credit cards
quit paypal
only use cash.
If you can't buy it locally forget it.

(then agian I just bought a gps on-line!)
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 02:34 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. Oh Crap! Now I need to have a GPS!!!
Thanks!

:)

david
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 06:29 PM
Response to Original message
28. I think perhaps you could use some counseling
it sounds like you are using shopping to fill some kind of void in your life
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 07:04 PM
Response to Reply #28
30. probably so, but
I'd like to avoid it!

It's definitely a way to alleviate boredom, and getting new stuff is always fun. I understand that a lot of the reason for doing it isn't the item or whatever itself, but the joy of getting the stuff.

Hmmmmm... I'd like to try to get over it one more time myself, then maybe help...

david
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the Princess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 06:44 PM
Response to Original message
29. I can help
Edited on Wed Mar-30-05 06:45 PM by the Princess
Send me all your credit cards and a set amount from your weekly paycheck. I'll put them in a safe place. I promise.
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 07:06 PM
Response to Reply #29
31. ahhh, now that would be helpful
I'll also send you my social security card so that you can put the balance into my individual account!

Thanks so much!!!

:)

david
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Speck Tater Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 07:07 PM
Response to Original message
32. Move to a desert island that has no Internet connection.
Pick coconuts and weave palm frond mats to satisfy your need to acquire things.
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-30-05 07:08 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. That's the best plan yet!
I guess I could still send away for catalog stuff via message in a bottle, though.

david
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