So what is this homosexual agenda?

[commander bunnypants]

:shrug:

What they want to be treated as anyone else.. Absurd


sarcasm off

CB

[crispini]

1. Google! It's very easy to find.

THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA
I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. So we're all up to speed, it follows below:

The Homosexual Agenda:

6:00 am Gym

8:00 am Breakfast

9:00 am Hair appointment

10:00 am Shopping

12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM (Here's the really important part)

1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State and local Governments as well as all other national governments
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels
5) Establish planetary chain of "homo breeding gulags" where over -medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership
6) Bulldoze all houses of worship
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get Forty Winks of Beauty Rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest

4:00 PM Cocktails

6:00 PM Light Dinner

8:00 PM Theater

11:00 PM Bed

[Debi]

7. Damn

and I always take my nap between 2:00 and 2:30, that's why I missed it :boring:

[commander bunnypants]

12. Ah yes world domination

thats it Peppermint Patty

CB

[Logiola]

2. It's almost as bad as that Feminism thing..

Geez, that RADICAL notion that women should be treated equal

[xchrom]

3. we want everyone to stop all this silly heterosexuality.

oh and failing that -- get cooler shoes.

[MissMarple]

11. The shoes thing...I'm working on.

I just purchased a pair of really cute raspberry slides with 2 1/2 inch heels. :-) And...they are quite comfy.

[rockymountaindem]

4. I asked my gay friend for a copy. He didn't have one.

I thought the gay people all kept piles and piles in the trunks of their cars. I was disappointed in him.

[tjwmason]

9. Having large piles of them would just look ugly n/t

[MadHound]

5. I think that they want to monopolize the toaster market somehow.

I'm not sure why, and I'm not sure how, but that's what I keep hearing all the time. Me, I don't care, I already have a toaster, and even then, I hardly use it:shrug:

[AntiCoup2K4]

14. They need to upgrade the toaster model as an incentive.

TALKIE TOASTER™ (patent applied for) is your cheery breakfast companion, with advanced artificial intelligence. Wake up each morning to a cheery "Howdy Doodly Doo!" and freshly buttered toast.

Or a muffin. Or a teacake. Or whatever you like, because Talkie Toaster™ (patent applied for) can toast a whole range of bread products including many varieties of muffins, teacakes, buns, baps, baguettes, bagels, brabbles, croissants, crumpets, pancakes, potato cakes, hot cross buns, flapjacks and waffles.

Should you wish for more than just breakfast however, Talkie Toaster™ (patent applied for) will not disappoint. Thanks to vast technical improvements pioneered by engineers in our research laboratories, Talkie Toaster™ (patent applied for) is no longer limited to the pre-programmed conversations and crude mood-assessment algorithms of earlier models.

The new Model C can not only sense your mood accurately, it can adjust many aspects of its behaviour to suit. It is able to sing in the musical style of your choice and converse on almost any topic, with a range that takes in the inane chattering style of reverse-flu-suffering DJs, to complex discussions of metaphysics, quantum mechanics, time travel, and religion – all with a unique bready slant. For example, Talkie Toaster™ (patent applied for) has been known to ask such searching questions as "given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite, would you like a toasted teacake?"

Impressed? Of course you are. Which is why you'll be glad to know that for just $19.99 (plus tax) Talkie Toaster™ (patent applied for) can be yours!

Talkie Toaster™ (patent applied for) is available in a variety of different stylings, including our most popular model (main picture), and with various male and female voices to suit your own personal preference. We even have a special edition 'retro' model (this column), with an all-over chrome finish and circular speaker unit. Manufactured to the highest quality standards in our Taiwan factory Talkie Toaster™ (patent applied for) is a must-have appliance for any modern householder. Order yours now, for just $19.99!

[MadHound]

17. Ooooo, their new, double top secret weapon!!!

Tempting, tempting. . . .

[Technowitch]

18. We Bi's have been giving away Cuisinarts for some years

Although we're thinking about adding a Crockpot to the incentive program. Something about 'slow, simmering, steamy goodness' seems rather appropriate, especially for all those lonely, bored, undersexed housewives and -husbands we're looking to win over.

[AllegroRondo]

6. I hear they missed the recruiting targets for the year

Despite such great shows as "Queer Eye" and "The L Word"

[Technowitch]

13. Yeah, we may have to start a draft!

We're doing well with our subversion efforts, though.

Straight men think lesbians are hotter than hell.

Straight women adore their gay male friends.

We bisexuals are secretly working both sides ("Basic Instinct" was our first success), and the transgendered are sowing confusion and chaos.

Unfortunately somebody leaked to the Fundies that we want to make homosexuality mandatory. Gonna take us a while to divert attention from that, but we're taking lessons from the Bush Administration on how to use lies and propaganda.

}(

[tjwmason]

8. That's just the public part

In private we want people to enjoy SpongeBobSquarePants, have matching decor, and clothes, and make other men realise that 2 hours getting dressed in the morning is actually a very short time.

[AngryAmish]

10. It revolves around fabulous design mostly

[Lex]

15. It's not the gays and lesbians who have a secret agenda:

[LynneSin]

16. I'm holding out for larger appliances

I don't need another toaster!

[murielm99]

19. Cronus, where are you?

I asked that question a few months ago. Cronus, a DUer, sent me to his website. http://cronus.com

Click on the Gay Agenda at the bottom of the page. Then you will know!