I need help planning my midlife crisis

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

I'll be turning the big five-oh in a couple months, and I've decided that's an appropriate time to have my big midlife wigout. I've been thinking about it, and I really want to do it right, but there are so many decisions to make, and I just can't decide on some things.

-Should I go the high-powered sports car route, or the see-the-country-on-a-Harley route? I personally lean toward the biker bit, having ridden a bike quite a lot in my misspent youth. I think I'd really like to get back onto two wheels for a while.

-I'm not attached, and having a complete breakdown can't possibly be fun when you're alone. I'd like to know I count on the gorgeous young babe contingent here at DU to volunteer everything that's needed in this area. Eighteens and over, please. I don't want to get Skinner into trouble.

-Drugs. Gotta do drugs. I think I read it in a book somewhere. There are just so many to choose from, and I don't have a lot of expertise with the current supplies. Suggestions are appreciated. Nothing heavily addictive, natch, and remember I'm an alcoholic, so that's gotta have some impact.

-Places to go. I've been a few places in my lifetime, and would even like to return to one or two of them, but a search for life's meaning usually means seeking out new experiences. Some places I've thought about are Alaska (gotta do it before it's destroyed), Key West (for the sunset ritual-- I've only been as far south as Orlando), The Aztec ruins of Peru (that goes well with the biker theme), London (I was stationed in England, and have always wanted to return to London again-- it's a fantastic city), or various other exotic locales.

At this time, I'm thinking of giving about two months to the whole thing, but I could be persuaded to extend that if necessary. After all, this is a once in a lifetime meltdown, and I want to do it right, and do it big.

Oh, have I mentioned I have a grand total of about fifty bucks in my fund at this moment? I have to do something about that, but I don't want to stoop to robbing a bank or anything like that, unless it's a part of the overall theme.

All help, suggestions, and volunteers are welcome. For those who don't know, I'm in Texas, in case you want to get to me but don't know which part of the mudball I'm occupying.

Thanks in advance for your help. If I pull it all together, I'll try to take pics. Of course, someone would have to loan me a really good camera, (Nikon 35mm SLR, with a motor winder and a good 20mm wide angle lens and filters, if possible. A tripod would help, but is not vital.) And if anyone wants to loan me a Harley, I'd prefer a low rider with a split-level seat. No ape-hangers, please. They make my arms go numb. As a substitute, a Kawasaki Vulcan would be okay. No Hondas, please, and no crotch-rockets.

[libhill]

1. I went nuts in my mid 40's, but got over it.

Hell, just buy you a Harley and do the "Easy Rider" thang.

[candy]

2. Aw,go to Maccu Pichu

My son went last year and is going back-------He loved it!

In fact he just plain loves Central and South America----go for it.

I'm London fan myself and that would be cheaper if you went off season.

Happy 50th---it's really not that bad!

[libhill]

3. Macchu Pichu

Ain't that thar that purple guy, what Rev. Fallwell said just tain't right?

[candy]

5. The very one!

[Fridays Child]

4. If you go solo, take a camera with a timer and a tripod so that...

...you can get some good shots of yourself leaning against the bike in a disaffected slouch, wearing your leathers, and contemplating the the vast and lonely landscape before you. Sort of James Deansian, you know?