Is 14 too young for a teenager to go with a student group to Italy?

[LizW]

My son is dying to go, and the price is really reasonable.

But he's never been away very much, and I'm nervous. The teachers who are taking this group are very good and they've taken groups lots of times before.

I really want him to go, but I'm having clingy mother pangs.

[DistressedAmerican]

1. NO! Let Him Go! Travel Broadens The Mind.

Besides, he will hate you if you say no. Not worth it.

Look at your choices:

Evil Mom Who Does Not Trust Me!
Or
Cool Mom That Let Me strech My Wings!

I'd take the latter if I were you.

[lastliberalintexas]

34. Hate to go off on a tangent

But that really shouldn't be a consideration in her decision- at all. This is just a pet peeve of mine, since I truly believe so many of our kids these days are f'ed up because mommy and daddy try to be friends instead of parents. If she has real reasons for him not going, then that's all that should matter. She should explain the situation to him, discuss things, and then they move on. He'll hate her for many, many things while growing up anyway- so she better get used to it if she hasn't already. But then he'll grow up and understand things much better.


And before anyone flames- Nope, I'm not saying she should be a tyrant and pull the "Because I'm the parent crap." I am simply saying that his *like or dislike of her* should not play into a decision that she has to make. Financial considerations aside, all that should factor into that decision is what she believes is best for him. Not whether he'll pout for days or throw a tantrum or tell her he hates her.


Ok, thanks for letting me rant. :)

[babylonsister]

2. What a great experience for him! I say, if you

trust the teachers and they've done it before, let him go!

[xultar]

3. Nope, not for a school trip. Maybe you can be a chaperon and go

with him.

[mtnsnake]

4. Only if Michael Jackson happens to be the head chapperone! n/t

[Ilsa]

5. If he generally has trustworthy behavior, this could be

a great reward for him being such a responsible young man.

Make sure there are enough chaperones, though. I wonder how he'd feel if you were along for the trip?

[BlueManDude]

6. What better place for him to learn his first lessons about love than

with an exotic stranger in a faraway place? Just kidding. It would be a great experience for him.

[tjwmason]

7. No

I'm assuming that the whole group is his age (or thereabouts).

I went to France with school aged 13 (admittedly it closer from here than from the U.S.).

Experiencing another country and another culture will be very good for him; and in my opinion Italy is the most wonderful European country (after my beloved England, of course).

Not wishing to stand as a childless man lecturing on motherhood; but whole of motherhood is one long process of letting go, each individual step is profoundly difficult to take but each one is also necessary. The teachers will be well used to it, and represent a safe-pair of hands in which to place your son.

[Bronco69]

8. How long will they be there?

I tend to agree with the other poster, travel broadens the mind. :-)

[stellanoir]

9. my son's 14 as well and last

week went on a school trip to D.C. and had an absolute blast.

And I was a mess the morning of his departure not because I was concerned for his safety but I was just flipping out over my kid going on an airplane without me. I called older friends with grown children and they made merciless fun of me.

Let him go for sure. And call your older friends with grown children after his departure and they will make merciless fun of you too.

It is quite a milestone though for sure.

I lived abroad for a year when I was 15 and had a fantastic experience.

[Catchawave]

10. Is he a good student and generally well-behaved ?

I would let him go. At 14, the level of maturity in boys spans years, but never underestimate the gut feeling of a mom :) I think it would be a wonderful experience for him.

[dsc]

11. absolutely not

If you trust the teachers and his potential roommate for the trip, then let the kid go.

[Heidi]

12. Please, let him do it.

I live abroad now, and wish I'd had the opportunity to travel through Europe and learn some of the languages when I was your son's age. For your own peace of mind, though, make sure the trip is well-supervised, so that you're not flipped out with worry while your son's away.

[noel711]

13. As a former teacher...

I say Let Him Go! ITaly is fabulous, and will be a wonderful experience. If you have reservations, volunteer to accompany them as a chaperone. You can't beat international travel as a growth experience. Don't deny him that.

[LoZoccolo]

14. Let him go.

It'd be a great thing, and will help you get over your clingy mother pangs.

[LizW]

15. Okay, you guys are making me feel good about this--Thanks!

He's a really mature and responsible kid, and he is SO excited about this trip. It's 12 days and they will see all the great stuff. I don't know when we'll ever have this opportunity again for this price.

All the kids will be his age or maybe one year older. I don't know how many adults and how many kids yet.

Really, I wish we could all go, but I sort of feel like he needs to do this on his own. I'll just have to anesthetize myself when he gets on the plane. :)

Thanks for all your kind replies!

[patricia92243]

17. You sound like a nice, caring Mom. Hope your son has a marvelous time.

[LizW]

18. Thank you!

:)

[shesemsmom]

16. Oh No

he is not to young the trips are chaperoned and he may never get another chance like that. My Brothers went in High School and they still talk of it fondly. That was 30 years ago. If you are able and can take the time volunteer to chaperon and you can share the experience. I wish I had had the chance myself

[radwriter0555]

19. oh definitely let him go! He will always treasure the experience and

nothing bad will happen...

I would let my daughter go if she were of that age!

[lastliberalintexas]

35. Well, it could

God I hate to be the downer in this thread, but let me just report a story from one of our local high schools. A sophomore girl was allegedly raped by a male student on a choir trip to NYC, and the chaperone allegedly tried to convince her not to report the incident. The investigation is still ongoing, since this was a recent event (over spring break), and criminal charges have finally been filed against the boy.

The vast majority of student trips are wonderful and nothing bad does happen. But everyone should remember that it *could*.

[readmylips]

20. Give positive support....

'How great that you're interested in learning about foreign countries at your young age. I'm proud of you.'

Remember, he's interesting only because he learned from you. You can't now get fearful of what you taught him. You molded him into an open-minded young man. You should be proud of your parenting skills.

You have the right to be nervous but rely on your good parenting skills to make it a positive experience for him. I'm proud of you too.
My kids are 30 and 34 and I was in this situation many times.

[madmom]

21. let him go...

I had the same feelings when my daughter went on her senior trip, she was 18 and only going across the country. Besides I had a chance to go to Europe when I was in high school,didn't go and am still regretting it and I'm 51 now. Let him go.

[lojasmo]

22. I'd be on the fence too, but.....

He should be allowed to go. any chance of you voulenteering as a chaperone?

[LizW]

27. Maybe

The meeting is on the 20th and we'll find out more information then.

[lojasmo]

31. Try. He should be able to go. It will be a great experience.

I would feel leery about letting him go alone. Also, I'm a selfish bastard, and would want to go too.

[dutchdemocrat]

23. Let em go

If you don't you will never hear the end of it and will never forgive yourself.

"I soon realized that no journey carries one far unless, as it extends into the world around us, it goes an equal distance into the world within."
--Lillian Smith, The Journey (1954)

[seaglass]

24. I'd feel the same as you do, I have a 14yo son and a 15yo

daughter. I also have some additional baggage as we had 2 incidents in our middle school that have left me with some distrust of school authorities (a female teacher is now in prison for raping one of my son's 13yo classmates and another teacher fired for sending inappropriate IM's to young girls, my daughter being one of them). I know these cases are not the norm - but they still give me pause.

Ok, that being said - I used to be a travel agent and believe travel is a wonderful opportunity, I have so many unbelievable memories. I would not want to deny my teens the opportunity. So, I'd stifle my worries, make sure to the greatest extent possible I could trust the teachers and chaperones, make sure my kids know they are NEVER to be alone with a teacher/chaperone - and then let them go.

Good luck on your decision.

[SarahB]

25. If he's a good kid and you trust the people supervising- YES!

P.S. I'm the mom of a 13 year old myself. :hi:

[Lady President]

26. I went on a couple school trips

I say let him go. I went on a school trip to England at 15 and another to the Bahamas at 17. Nothing bad happened-- honest! As an adult, I think about how lucky I was that my parents let me travel during high school and college. The best way to learn about the world is to see it. :)

[deadparrot]

28. I went when I was sixteen---absolutely let him go!

It is an amazing--absolutely amazing--experience; he won't forget it. Since going, I've planned my possible future careers around living and working in Europe.

Just make sure he has a money satchel that goes around his neck and under his clothes--there are pickpockets, but I had one, and had absolutely no trouble.

The mom thing is normal (it happened to mine, too). But it is a great experience. Just make sure he takes comfortable, but nice, walking shoes--lots of hilly, cobblestone streets, especially in Rome.

:)

[Calliope]

29. Let him go

My daughter went to Italy her sophomore year in high school and had a blast.

[SW FL Dem]

30. My son is 14, I don't know what I would do

He is very responsible but I would be a nervous wreck. I think if I were in that position, I would insist on paying my own way to be a chaperone.

Edited to add:
My parents let my sister go to Germany for two weeks in the summer after her junior year in high school. I don't know how they did it, but the world seemed a lot safer back then.

[leftofthedial]

32. Let him go!

What a great opportunity!

[obxhead]

33. I'm 28 now

and I had the chance to go to Germany @15 for a class trip. I missed out for a lot of reasons (my fault). The trip only would have cost $1200 or so for 2 weeks. all inclusive.
I regret my decisions still to this day.
Visiting other cultures can only expand your mind. Expanding your mind forces one to take some risks.

[mark414]

36. why is anyone saying no?

repressed teenage memories?

let him go

[amazona]

37. doesn't seem too young to me

A ton of my friends in chorus went to Rome at about that age with a group. The teachers and chaperones will keep an eye on things and make sure he doesn't impregnate any cute Italian girls or anything.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72