Are older women better at giving compliments?

[coloradodem2005]

The women that always tell me that I am good looking or nice in a way that doesn't make me cringe are usually older than me. I just think it's interesting that women in their 30's and 40's seem to be the most complimentary of me.

[yvr girl]

1. Older women are better at lots of things

We've had more time to practice.

[redqueen]

2. change 'women' to 'people', and I agree 1000%

That reminds me... I had something I wanted to talk about today...

[Tyrone Slothrop]

20. I don't think older men are better at giving compliments

Most of the older men that I know are rather cranky and mean-spirited.

[redqueen]

30. I would have to disagree.

As with coloradodem, I find younger men give compliments that make me cringe... while the older ones know how to say things in a way that doesn't make me feel like either a prostitute or a prop.

[XNASA]

17. Agreed,

I love older women. They're the bomb!!!!!

[SarahB]

21. Exactly.

;)
Plus, as you get older, you care less about "what people think". I just say what I want to say, do what I want to do, and realize all I have control over is myself, not other's reactions or opinions.

[Radical Activist]

22. That's exactly what I was thinking I would post

as soon as I read the subject line of this thread. Its very true. :)

[RandomKoolzip]

3. Funny, but my mind replaces "compliments" with lots of other words.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Women in their 30s and up aren't so threatened any more

Though it would be interesting to see if even those women who compliment you, are as equally complimentary toward their peers; or if it's only a downward effect (that is, complimenting only women who are at least a decade younger).

Interesting.

[progmom]

5. as a woman in her 30s

I'm happy to pass out compliments to my peers. At least on DU, I think you'll find that's generally the case.

[coloradodem2005]

11. You mean men.

Because I am 25. And Male.

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. Whoops! My fault - I just assumed you were a woman

No real reason, just assumed you were.

My comments apply only to the women complimenting other women.

[Debi]

18. When the hell did a woman in her 30's become older

:wtf:

Older? :grr:

I'm OLDER? :mad:

I'm freakin OLD? :nuke:

[Radical Activist]

23. Everyone defines old as

about 10 years older than they are. Don't take it personally.

[Heidi]

6. What an excellent question, coloradodem2005.

And so I offer a question in return: Do the phenomenon you're noticing is due us "older women" being mature enough to let the inconsequential stuff slide, or just a by-product of being us "older" and "women"? ;)

[coloradodem2005]

12. A by product of being older and women.

[donsu]

7. 30s & 40s are 'older women'????

guess you meant older then your young self.

actually older women, 60s up, grew up in a time when all the women's magazine talk was on the upkeep and caring of men's ego. Really! tons of articles on the fragility of men's egos and it was the woman's job to keep male egos healthy.

that includes compliments.

nowadays you never hear the word ego used in conjunction with men.

[imenja]

10. I beg to differ

Women I know comment on the male ego. It's impossible to miss.

[donsu]

15. how interesting - so 'ego' comes up in your all's converstions

in the same way as in the 40', 50's - up to women to keep men's ego healty and how to do that?

or do you speak of the male ego in a different way?

[imenja]

16. No. More like: there is no underestimating the fragility of the male ego

Or their egos are both inflated and fragile. It's not very nice, but you did ask.


I can't be bothered to pamper their egos. They can find someone else for that. And I have to dispute your point about younger women. I think they are far more likely to do what they feel is necessary to play to a man's ego, because they tend to be less independent and sure of what they want. These of course are generalizations, and it varies with the individual.

edit: FYI. I'm 43 and divorced.

[donsu]

19. I'm glad I asked and glad you all are not catering to male egos

yes, I see what you mean about younger women 'playing' the male ego.

hadn't thought of it in that way.

evolution: women should be care takers of male ego, to 'could care less about male ego', and, to 'playing' the male ego.

how very interesting.

[FlaGranny]

8. Compliments are funny things.

When you are young, they are hard to take and hard to give. When you get older they become easier because you lose a lot of the self consciousness and embarrassment you had as a youngster.

[Bouncy Ball]

9. I like to tell young guys they are good looking

and then stare a little too long so that they squirm and feel really uncomfortable.

Just kidding, I don't do that.

I have gender-related power problems, don't I?

[stellanoir]

14. one of the sincerest compliments

that I was most comfortable accepting, that I've ever received was oddly enough from my former and dearly departed grandmother-in-law. She was a Countess from Switzerland but had fallen into absolute poverty during WWII with three little kids, living outside the Warsaw ghetto when her husband, a concert pianist, was interned by the Nazi's.

I got to know her in Paris towards the end of her life. She was entirely humble and an incredibly gifted artist. She studied me long and hard and then offerred up, "You are truly a quintessential American Beauty."

It rocked my soul. Firstly because she was an artist and had such depth. Secondly because she had no agenda whatsoever for having said that.

Take the compliments from wherever they come. But it's really always nicer when those offering them aren't just trying to get into your pants.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

27. there are no counts and countesses in switzerland

and have never been. There are of course foreign high society in switzerland in switzerland.

[stellanoir]

29. she was of the De Ayesback clan (sp?)

and she married a Polish count. Polish royalty is also an complete and total oxymoron. They bought a title in the early 1800's.

So go figure. She was a woman of total class though nonetheless..

And he daughter married into the Kinsky clan from Austria.

Too weird really.

[wideopen]

24. Older women are better at

giving period. Complements and everything else.

[imenja]

25. and receiving

[wideopen]

28. That too!

and in so many ways.

[liontamer]

26. What do young women say to you

that makes you cringe? Most women give fairly pleasant compliments.

[coloradodem2005]

32. Well.

It may not be what they say so much as how it is said. Some women my age would tell me "You're such a nice guy." The inflections and stuff tell me that there is no real meaning behind what they say.

[Nikia]

31. This might have to do with perceptions

Do you perceive older women as potential sex partners? Do these women perceive you as a potential sex partner? Do these women think that you perceive them as potential sex partners?
These are important issues. As a young looking woman in her mid twenties, I have to be careful about the men who I compliment. They might take things the wrong way.

[coloradodem2005]

33. I had one via email tell me...

...that I seemed "so very sweet" and she couldn't resist emailing me. And she's 44. I am 25. I saw her picture and told her she was quite pretty.