The Department Of Orthodoxy Requests YOUR Help In Spotting The Rapture!

[DistressedAmerican]

Today the United States Department of Orthodoxy is announcing the new Public Rapture Awareness Program (P.R.A.P.).

Modeled after the Department Of Homeland Security's T.I.P.S program, we hope that this initiative will greatly expand our information collection regarding any possible Rapture Related Event (R.R.E.).

The Department asks you to be part of the national Rapture Awareness Program. What can I do to help, you ask?

Keep alert for suspicious activity. Report unusual events, happenings or omens to this thread and to your local branch of the D.O.O.

Recent sightings have included:
Bed sheets with stains resembling the Virgin Mary
Highway underpass water stains resembling the Virgin
Tortillas with the image of Jesus
The failure of many federal officials to "get it up"
And
The continued existence of Tom Delay

Alert citizens have made us aware of these and many other signs that the end times are upon us.

So, Please report back with any additional suspicious or unusual events that you have witnessed that may herald the final days!!!

Your Nation NEEDS You!

Thanks You,
Distressed American
Director of Homeland Theology
The United Stated Department Of Orthodoxy

[tavalon]

1. Good one

worthy of the greatest page.

[DistressedAmerican]

2. Department Theologians Worried - Will Pitt Declares Himself Pope!

Another troubling sign has surface this morning...

William Pitt (of http://www.truthout.org/) Has Declared HIMSELF Pope!

This move stands as a bold and unsettling challenge to traditional church authority.

The Rapture Clock Has Been Moved Forward 3 Minutes!

[annabanana]

3. Voinovich.. not in lock-step!

Any "errant" Republican is a sign of endtimes...

[DistressedAmerican]

4. It Is Troubling. We Feel A Disturbance In The Force!

[DistressedAmerican]

5. Kicking For The Lord! He's Not A Registered User!

[DistressedAmerican]

6. ...