I hate my in-laws!!! They are such crazies and republicans t' boot!!!

[UCLA Dem]

I just got an email from my sister-in-law and she is completely insane. I just want to scream. That family is so damn dysfunctional and my husband and I are trying everything we can to get away from them, but they just won't leave us alone!!

Sorry to dump this, but I just needed to vent. I'm so angry I want to cry. I feel a part of this community, so I hope no one minds too much.

I could use some supportive words right now. It would really help. Thanks everyone.

[MissHoneychurch]

1. of course we don't mind

here are some hugs for you
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

If you wanna rant some more ... go ahaed

[UCLA Dem]

14. Thank you! I can't tell you much that helps!!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

2. All I can offer is my sympathies

We all have relatives we might not choose as friends...it's tough sometimes..without knowing more, there's not a whole lot to say and I didn't want to pry for more information.

Hope I can just make you feel a bit better by knowing you have my empathy in a moment of upset.

[UCLA Dem]

17. I appreciate that. No worries, I don't get offended easily.

They are just very mean-spirited, passive aggressive people who want to control everyone. I tend to be direct and ignore that kind of stuff, so they've (especially his mother and sisters) have never been fond of me.

My husband has basically told them that he can't see them again until they get some help (counseling) because they have just been just a negative part of our lives and put such a strain on our relationship.

I know they're just reeling from that and lashing out. We'll get through it, but today I wasn't able to keep my cool.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

24. Burn some sage and get those vibes out of your house!

good luck

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

25. Burn some sage and get those vibes out of your house!

good luck

[Technowitch]

3. *hugs*

You're among friends.

You might want to make use of some email filters, if she's that bad, just as a suggestion.

:hug:

[UCLA Dem]

18. I will definitely take your advice. Thank you!

[Shell Beau]

4. Some people....

:grouphug:

[UCLA Dem]

33. Thank you. I appreciate the hugs!

[Richardo]

5. Sorry to hear that, UCLA Dem

:hug:

(BTW, I'm a Bruin, too. '78 BA PoliSci. Former Hedrick denizen) :hi:

[UCLA Dem]

19. Yea! Go Bruins. I'm 2004 BA Psychology, Franz was my place! And

thanks for the kind words!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. Hi, UCLADem,

Check your PM...Talk to you later, OK? Hang in there...

[UCLA Dem]

20. Thank you, you're so sweet. I really appreciate that!

[Fleshdancer]

7. Would it help to swap insane inlaw stories??

My mother-in-law politely informed me a few years ago that my husband (her son) was a "tool of Lucifer". Sweet, isn't she? Ever since, my husband has been trying to figure out what he needs to do to be upgraded to full Lucifer status...he doesn't like being a tool of anything.

When I found out I was pregnant, first she said the typical "I'm too young to be a grandmother" bs but later in private she turned to me and said "you know Gloria, an evil part in me is happy that you're pregnant because you're going to lose that cute little figure of yours."

And don't get me started on the political conversations...

[Maat]

10. Wow. Aren't you lucky!

Before I say something I'm going to regret, let me just say, "I know of what you speak."

We can empathize.

I'll never forget when I sat on a bench, while she stated that she had to follow her daughter, her daughter's husband, and their kids to Oklahoma (moving there) because she was very attached to "those kids." What is OUR kid - chopped liver? Uh-oh. I went off. Sorry.

My MOTHER is just pure mean spirit - but we just ignore her.

I am proud to say that I have had a very happy life - because I forget about certain individuals 99% of the time.

Peace and Blessings,

Maat

[UCLA Dem]

13. Thats what my parents did. They both had one bad parent...

and they made conscious decisions not to treat us like that, so I was lucky and had really good parents. I'm glad your children will be just as lucky.

[Maat]

34. Why, thank ya'!

Eh ... you just have to take the negative out of your life. We're positive around here (for the most part).

[UCLA Dem]

12. Thats awful!!

My MIL wouldn't even talk to me at my own wedding a few months ago and can't stand the fact that I'll be starting graduate school in the fall.

When my husband and I got engaged, she was upset because if we marry and have kids "who will stay home with the children?" since I want a career.

[Fleshdancer]

23. aren't they insane? heaven forbid you make your own decisions

Congrats on starting graduate school by the way! I have no idea if you're even planning to have kids, but for what it's worth...some of my best memories as a small child was watching my mom study (she was in graduate school) and seeing her walk across that stage. I remember feeling very proud of her. I also learned early on how a good education can take you far in life...I didn't just hear the cliche, I watched my mom prove it.

I can't believe that bitch didn't even talk to you at your own wedding! To bad you can't go back in time and have her kicked out. THAT would be funny.

[UCLA Dem]

32. Thanks!! now to look for a good time capsule!

[Maat]

39. Oh yeah!

My MIL used to jab me about the career/kids thing, and then I would jab her, and so on and so forth. We didn't have kids for 15 years.

Then we adopted (prior to the placement, a few comments were made to my husband).

I had worked over 20 years, and about 1-1/2 after Beloved Daughter was placed with us (became our daughter), I retired from social work to go back to law school.

The funny part is that my mother-in-law regards this as 'staying at home,' like her beloved daughter.

I'm 46. I don't bother to correct her anymore. I'm just polite, exchange pleasantries, and move on.

I with the 'sage' idea. Burn some - get rid of the negative energy!

We do this at monthly drumming.

Carry on! Enjoy life! Waste not another moment thinking about you-know-who!

On edit: when I got my Bachelor's, they weren't particularly impressed. When I got my Master's, they weren't particularly impressed. When I got my doctorate (law degree, JD), they weren't particularly impressed.

Heck, when Mr. Maat got his degrees, they weren't particularly impressed. It was more impressive that his sister kept a clean house.

[Maat]

8. I know how you feel.

I talk minimally to my sister-in-law - maybe once a year. I doubt we could agree on the color of an orange.

This ol' mom says, "What the H are you doing dwelling on that e-mail?"

You read it. It's stupid. Forget it. Go out and have a nice day!

Can this be done? I've become a master at it.

I will smack you on the hand if I sense that you are making this a battle of control. He's YOUR husband. He's loyal to YOU. You WIN. Let it go. She exists. She is an individual expression of God, here for some reason (although she certainly does not represent what you would choose for yourself). But she does not have to be a significant part of your life.

Just my two cents worth (and that's all it may be worth).

[UCLA Dem]

11. Thank you!

I know that. I win. We were married in January and have just been through a lot with them. I'm still working through my anger and some days I do better than others.

Thanks so much for you kind words though.

[Maat]

40. TAKE CARE!

I still like the smudging idea (burning sage to get rid of the negative energy).

Peace and Blessings to YOU!!

[UCLA Dem]

42. Some sented candles and a hot bath sound good. clear the negative vibes!

Thank you!!

[Maat]

46. Excellent idea!

[iconoclastic cat]

9. Hey, at least it's not you with the nutty parents!

My fundie p's drive poor Mrs. IconCat absolutely batshit. Now my mother is on this whole kick about "making excuses for people's poor choices" crap. If they ever spew that crap to my kid, I'm going to ban them entirely.

How the hell did I turn out this way with these freaks for parents?

[UCLA Dem]

21. My husband tells me he wonders that every day!!

He's so normal and the rest of them are just loonies!

My sympathies and best wishes to your wife!!

Thanks for your kind words!

[iconoclastic cat]

28. I'd say that Mrs. IconCat copes, but she really just seethes in silence.

Of course, I seethe openly.

[Bouncy Ball]

27. Hey I Cat, Mr. Bouncy asks himself that ALL the time.

His mother raised him to be a liberal and a real rebel, to boot.

Then she goes all fundie freaky on him after he's grown (his dad was always a big reactionary ass).

THEN she decides *I* must be the reason Mr. Bouncy is liberal. Yeah, right, when I met him HE was more liberal than *I* was. I didn't make him liberal, he made me MORE liberal.

But try telling her that. Oh and the sister-in-law from hell, who apparently still has unresolved sibling rivalry issues with her brother (my husband) and feels I took too much attention away from HER when I married him.

:crazy:

[iconoclastic cat]

29. I had the same situation! They were "moderate" Christians in my youth.

Now they are just a bunch of Santorum fans.
No, really: they love him and wish they lived in PA.

Oh, and they love my choice of profession, let me tell you. They haven't said that I'm corrupting the youth of America with my secular religion yet, though, but only because they don't view the African American and Latino kids whom I teach as the youth of America.

[UCLA Dem]

41. Wow. I've gone through the same thing.

They blame me for making him liberal, even though he's made me more liberal!

And his sister thought I was too much the center of attention at my own wedding.

[Double T]

15. Sorry you have got in-laws from hell.........

.....Shut Off The Cell Phone, Pull The Jack Out Of The Wall On The Land Line And Don't Open Their e-mails, Just Let Them Sit There. Now They Can't Get At You, At Least For A While, You Can Now Get A Break From Their Craziness. Enjoy The Peace !!!

[UCLA Dem]

22. I definitely will. Thanks so much!!

[Maat]

43. Good advice, Double T!

I sort of have a two-tier system.

If it is an e-mail notifying me of something important (I read the first line), then I read it.

If it looks like fundie-baloney, I delete it immediately.

My husband, Mr. Maat (Mr. Logical) used to try to refute their arguments, but he quickly learned that fundies do not like to be bothered with the facts.

And, like Bouncy Ball's situation (I believe), my in-laws were moderately religious and appeared to be rather level-headed, except for the traditional beliefs about women, but then they moved back to Oklahoma, became rabid Southern Baptists (not the moderate kind), and now I get very silly e-mails about 'taking God out of the public square.'

Both these law graduates (Hubby and I) tried to explain that the issue was government sponsorship of religion and compelling taxpayers to pay for someone's idea of religion, not two private individuals talking about religion in the public square or expressing a religious thought publicly .... but they had already taken in the Kool-aid and would not listen.

I really empathize.

[freethought]

16. Actually it sounds as if you haven't unloaded yet!!

What was in the email? Tell us a little bit? Vent baby, vent!!!

[UCLA Dem]

31. Well you have to understand the back story...okay I'm giving in & dishing

Things have always been tense in that family since way before I arrived on the scene (about 4 years ago now).

His mother has never liked me because as she's told Jon's sisters "I'm too opinionated, too out-spoken, too close to my mother and an over acheiver"...oh and because my only goal in life is not stay home and have babies (not that anything is wrong with that, but I shouldn't have to if I don't want to damn it!).

We got engaged in November of 2003 and things were bad the whole wedding planning process. Those jerks just fought us on everything. They couldn't go along with anything, it was always a fight. From the flowers, to the venue on and on and on.

Mind you, I have never been mean, disrespectful or vindictive in any way to these people. I have only done what I could to keep things from exploding at least before the wedding and not allowed them to walk all over me.

Getting back to my SIL, last December she threw me a shower, which all of us thought went surprisingly well. I actually had fun...go figure. But...3 days later (on my husband's birthday), she called him up like a raving loony screaming banshee going on a complete diatribe, saying how awful the shower went and that I was rude and selfish because I was the and I quote "the center of attention." It was a total character assassination and I've never done anything to that woman,but try to be her friend or to the rest of family for that matter.

Well, he managed to calm things down so we could at least get through the wedding. She said she wanted to call me to talk with me about what "I've done" to her and her family, but never has.

Now, today's email...she asked me why I haven't called her and doesn't understand why it seems I don't want to talk to her.

The family is totally screwed up and I know I'm just the scape goat. Its easier to blame me than to face the fact that the family has major problems. Its just hard and it gets to me sometimes.

So there you go...there's the dirt.

[Maat]

44. "Oh, has that much time passed by?"

"Thanks so much for the thought. You thought I was selfish? Well, it was my special day, and I enjoyed to the best of my ability. Now, let's let it rest. You don't want to let it rest? Well, I'm sorry, it's no longer a topic of conversation. It is no longer a topic of conversation. It is off the table ."

As to the career thing, "Well, you know MY philosophy. Now, let's see how it goes. Thanks for your input."

Repeat refrain as necessary <"Well, that topic's done ..."[br />
Just another two cents.

LOL!

Do they think I'm a BLEEP? Heck yes!!! And, if they need any more clarification, I'm almost a lawyer - I'll give it to them!

[UCLA Dem]

49. woowhoo! greatly appreciated!

[Bouncy Ball]

26. Do they send you emails about how Jane Fonda should be shot?

Do they send you emails scolding you for not praying for Chimpy McCokespoon?

Do they send you emails with video clips of the poor souls who had to jump out of the WTC towers with captions like "this is someone's daughter" as she falls through the air?

You know, just so you WON'T FORGET THAT DAY, as if you ever could.

Do they seem truly mentally ill?

Welcome to my world. Block their email addresses and change your number.

Fortunately mine live VERY VERY far away.

[UCLA Dem]

35. They're not quite that bad. But I think they are mentally ill.

[Maat]

45. Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, sorry Bouncy! You weren't talking to me ... however ...

[Bouncy Ball]

48. LOL! You too huh?

[Maat]

52. Yep.

[sugar magnolia]

30. Oh what I wouldn't give for decent in-laws

My husband is a son of a bitch. Literally.

I know its hard dealing with in-laws like that, especially early in a marraige, but as long as your husband stands by you the two of you will work it out. Hang in there.

[UCLA Dem]

36. Yea. He's been really wonderful. He has always stood up for me

and our relationship. I am very lucky and blessed in that respect and I guess thats all that matters in the end.

Thank you. I really appreciate your sweet words.

[Blue Gardener]

37. Don't let them get you down

That's just what they want. Go ahead and snuggle up with hubby tonight and watch a good movie. :hug:

[UCLA Dem]

38. I will definitely do that. Thank you!

[Maat]

47. Thank YOU for letting ME vent!

Enjoy!

[UCLA Dem]

50. No problem!! Glad to be of help!

[Parche]

51. letter

what did she say.........curious dems want to know!!!