Anyone disturbed by nonchalant attitudes regarding eating disorders?

[cassandra uprising]

I was visiting in a different office the other day during lunch. The topic of weight management got brought up. Now stay with me people, I'm what folks would call your standard average. Size 10 dress, 5'7" and 150 lbs. Not thin, not fat. Just average.

A middle aged male who goes to the gym regularly asks me, "What do you do to stay so thin?"

I looked at him squarely and replied, "I have really high anxiety."

"Oh, really." he said in all sincerity.

I thought to myself, how far do I go with this? Do I tell him that I take laxatives, or that I've been sick with the flu and I feel like shit but I've finally managed to shed those difficult five pounds, or do I opt for the more acceptable craze diet regimen.

I looked at him stunned and said, "no, I'm just kidding... mumble mumble.

Is this nuts or what?

Thanks for listening.

Discuss

[leftofthedial]

1. I don't know about that

but bulemia makes me want to puke

[JimmyJazz]

3. um - I don't mean to be rude, but I kinda fail to see the

humor of your statement. Many people suffer from bulimia and it really isn't something to laugh about. Some of those people are right here, right now - reading what you just wrote.

[cassandra uprising]

21. that's what I was trying to shed light on

So many men and women disguise their eating habits and are suffering from major eating disorders. I should have posted this in GD.

:hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

34. Don't post it in GD. You won't hear from me --

morbidly obese, lifelong eating disorder . . .

:hi:

[leftofthedial]

23. it was a sarcastic commentary on the thread topic

pretending to make light of it to demostrate the OP thesis.

If it ain't funny, don't laugh.

If it ain't church, don't preach.

[JimmyJazz]

26. It wasn't funny, so I didn't laugh....

I also didn't preach, but - m'kay.

[leftofthedial]

29. good! We are in violent agreement!

I am sincerely sorry for the tasteless and pointless commentary on a subject that causes so much pain, suffering and worse for so many. I truthfully meant no harm. I am sensitive to the problem.

I'm also a compulsive smartass.

:spank: :dilemma:

peace

[sam sarrha]

4. Puking is what killed Terri Shivo.they never said that..lost her potassium

and her heart stopped for over 10 minutes..10 minutes, yes folks that was "OVER 10 MINUTES"... she was DEAD IN '5 minutes'

they hid the details to perpetuate the fraud on the people and use it for Fascist Propaganda to take over the courts..

http://www.indybay.org/print.php?id=1719333

[Bunny]

2. I don't understand. Do you actually have an eating disorder?

Or are you simply appalled at his bad manners in pressing you about your weight? :shrug:

[cassandra uprising]

7. What I found disturbing was his attitude

And how there, in my opinion, seems to a blah-zay attitude about what people are willing to do in regards to body image and food.

Part of me feels like I should have posted this in GD.

[tjdee]

10. How is his attitude disturbing?

When you said you had high anxiety, he "seriously", according to you, said "Oh really."

IMO, that's pretty respectful as the circumstances required.

Um, I'm confused. I think you're reading WAY too much into a five second conversation.

As to posting this in GD, I think you should do that too.
:shrug:

[cassandra uprising]

14. Exactly my point

Perhaps you are correct about my seriousness. But that's my point. I think that there are a lot of folks out there who are too scared to talk about their obsession with weight, what they will to obtain it, and the folks who dismiss the seriousness of it.

[Left Is Write]

17. What did you want him to say?

You probably took him by surprise.

[cassandra uprising]

20. perhaps

It was kind of like when someone asks you how you're doing, and the response is usually 'fine,' and you can put in any other word and people will think that you said 'fine' because that's what they expected you would say.

[SoCalDem]

25. First of all, it's rather rude to even ask a question like that these days

There was a time when people naturally came in all sizes and shapes, and no one commented on it at all..

Our country went wacko when all the boomer teens burst onto the scene, right alongside their stodgy (amply padded) parents and grandparents..

Madison Avenue fell in "lust" with all those young tight bodies and amplified it as the desired norm.. It wasn't the "norm" even then, but magazines, movies & tv made it so..

It's just about youth when you get right down to it. There are the few genetically-lucky ones who retain their youthful appearances as they age, but MOST of us show our age, and our body-styles begin to mimic those of our ancestors (no matter how hard we fight it)..

There comes a time when people should just start to accept the vessel they have been given, and quit fighting nature so much :)

[cassandra uprising]

28. Marilyn Monroe is considered fat by today's standards

:wtf:

[sam sarrha]

5. he might have just been trying to get into your size 10 pants...

All men are dogs............

[cassandra uprising]

8. funny

I didn't think of that.

[tjdee]

6. Those are my stats, give or take a few--I think you're overreacting.

(I don't have an eating disorder, actually I want to lose weight.)

So if he asked me the same question, I wouldn't automatically assume he thought I had an eating disorder, or seriously wanted me to get into a conversation about my weight.

I don't know how you got to that.

Men don't really care, IMO.

[cassandra uprising]

11. It wasn't the asking of the question in regards to my stats.

It was his response when I replied that my weight management "success" was do to 'high anxiety.' That doesn't sound off any alarms to you? Not to be antagonistic, but really.

Perhaps I should have been more clear. In my mind, anxiety, weight management and body image all tend to dance around the topic of eating disorders. I did not mean to infer that I thought that my friend suggested I had an eating disorder.

[tjdee]

12. Uh, no, it doesn't set off any bells. At all.

In *your* mind, obviously it does....um, okay.....

:shrug:

[youthere]

19. When I hear "high anxiety"

I think of nervousness-not eating disorder. I might have said something like, "Oh really, have you seen a doctor?" but it would depend on how well I knew you too.

[Withywindle]

9. He probably meant it as a compliment

Awkward and tactless, but I don't really see anything sinister or showing an attitude about eating disorders there! I doubt eating disorders ever crossed his mind. Most likely he was thinking about opening up a conversation about exercise or something. :shrug:

[tjdee]

13. But her problem isn't with the question.

If I'm reading her posts correctly, her problem is his "Oh, really." in response to her saying she had lost weight because of anxiety.

[cassandra uprising]

16. True, I'm quite sure he didn't think I was making a statement

about eating disorders. That was my point for starting this thread. I wanted to see what other opinions were regarding anxiety and weight management.

[Withywindle]

22. Do you think he might've been expecting a "lighter" answer?

Kind of the way when people say "How're you doing?" they don't really want to know the truth if it's upsetting or "difficult." Maybe he just didn't know how to react because he'd been expecting a joke answer or something about exercise or something.


(For example my staying-thin secret is largely excessive coffee and cigarettes in lieu of most meals; I might say that in a light joking tone to someone I knew wouldn't get upset about it, but not to my mom, for example, 'cause she worries. :))

[cassandra uprising]

24. funny, check out my post #20

I act. And I've meet a lot of women (and men, and they're even more under the radar) who don't struggle with their weight. What gets me is how what you look like is directly connected to your self worth. In regards to this post I wanted to comment on what people will put themselves through to be thin and how eating disorders aren't really discussed.

[tigereye]

36. I think your humor and insight

went right over his head, the poor guy... :)

[BiggJawn]

15. So he should have scribbled the name and number of a "Good Therapist"

...out on a napkin for you?

Maybe you should have said "Well, it's a combination of induced vomitting and having sex with farm animals..."

THEN if he said "Oh, really?" you'd have something to bitch about.

Perhaps saying "oh, really?" was his way of implying "Oh, fuck, I really stepped in THIS one..."

[cassandra uprising]

18. Touche touche

I see you point. I wanted to go there and I didn't. I didn't think I was trying to 'bitch' by starting this post. Having lived with someone with an eating disorder, I am sensitive to this issue. I'm curious as to where that line is for folks.

[calico1]

27. It doesn't seem to me like he was indifferent

about you being high anxiety (or saying you are). People who are high anxiety or have lots of nervous energy tend to burn off more calories. Since this is an issue for you it seems to me you are looking much deeper into his reponse than he was. Now, if you had said you vomit or take laxatives and he said "oh really" like it was nothing then I would find that strange. Since I was a real fidgeter and very thin growing up, I associate high anxiety with nervous energy. Maybe he did too. Or maybe he just didn't really put much thought into his response.

[BiggJawn]

33. And maybe he was clueless about eating disorders.

Because he hasn't had to experience them up-close-and-personal.

I still think you were setting him up.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

31. Dude - why are you constantly bringing crude sex references into threads?

It's really inappropriate - but I'm sure you have a great excuse for being so over the top

:eyes:

[BiggJawn]

32. For the same reason the Scorpion stung the Frog...

"it's my Nature"

You know where the "Ignore" and "Alert" buttons are?
Dude-If you hate it that much, USE the fucking things.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

37. Ok pal

"you donm't like the crap I have to say? Ignore me" I love that one

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

30. afriend at work who joked about her husband's "bulimia is beautiful" shirt

She couldn't understand why I was so offended

[Nikia]

35. I was just going to post about people talking about my weight

And how much it bothers me. I have a digestive disorder which has caused me to lose a significant amount of weight I am 5'5'' and went from 135 to 110 pounds in less than a year. Everyone at work seems to feel the need to comment on it. I found out that they talk about it even more behind my back. I just want to cry. I am thinner than I would like to be, but I can seem to do little more than maintain my weight at this point. Even though I am slightly medically unweight, I am still menstrating and my blood chemistry is still good. As long as I don't lose much more weight, I am not in medical danger from a weight standpoint. I am not anorexic and I don't have cancer or AIDS. Really, people's weight should not be everyone else's business.

[Shell Beau]

38. I certainly do not understand the fascination with weight.

What difference does it make if you are thin or not. Maybe he was trying to compliment you. And how do you respond to that? I don't know. People used to say that to me and sometimes I felt like they were implying something. I always say it is natural which is the case.

[TheProphetess]

39. I think people should NOT make comments about weight...ever!

I once saw a person I had known in hight school at church. She looked like she was wearing a maternity shirt (and I swear it was one). So, I asked her if she was pregnant only to find out that she was not. I have never felt so asinine in my whole life! (FYI: she had a 1-year-old and had trouble losing the extra pregnancy-related weight so apparently she was recycling her nicer maternity clothes to wear to church.) People may have very innocent intentions but I think it's best to lay off the weight comments.

Maybe we think we're being nice when we say "did you lose weight?" to someone, but I think we need to learn to shut up and allow our observations to be just that - observations. None of us knows what comments like that do to another person.

My friend's mother-in-law always talks about weight - not to her son but to daughter-in-law - constantly. She spends all day talking about calories and whether or not to have dessert after dinner and I'm afraid that she will rub off on my friend's two young daughters. Women are judged, on a much harsher level than are men, by their looks and weight and we need to stop that insanity!! :mad: