Suggestion for a DU group

[Mrs_Beastman]

Would anyone else be interested in starting a DU group to support caregivers for their elderly parents? My mom is turning 65 this year, has exhausted most of her 401k and savings on meds and hospital stays. I want to know how I can help her.I'm in over my head and am curious what resources people have found.

[The empressof all]

1. I would have loved a group like that a few years ago

Count me in as a member. We lived through this with both husbands mother, uncle and my mom. It's over now but I still have those moments of frustration memories. It was one of the most difficult things to manage personally, financially, and professionally. (I'm in a health/helping profession).

Please feel free to PM me even if you don't get the group started. You'll need to (if you haven't already) get ready to work with public entitlement programs. Every state has their own idiosyncrasies and red tape in accessing services.

[Mrs_Beastman]

10. Thanks

That's what prompted me to start this thread. I found out that Medicare has better benefits for seniors who live in suburban areas. So my mom lives 15 minutes down the road and according to the gov't is in a 'rural' area, and gets shafted on benefits.


Any suggestions, websites or common mistakes to avoid would be appreciated!
:hi:

[The empressof all]

18. Every state is so different

Go to your state's website and look for social services. Learn everything you can about what is offered to seniors. You can also contact a local senior center for a referral to a senior advocacy organization in your area-They frequently have literature that digests the most basic info and spits it out in understandable language.

Take advantage of what's out there from meals on wheels, transportation services, chore services, and when necessary adult day care. They were life savers for us.

With my mother in law we were fortunate to be able to hire a Geriatric Care Coordinator who helped us with the red tape and acted as her advocate. (We were 3000 miles away so this was invaluable to us) Even if you are close by, and you are able to afford it getting expert help can save a great deal of time and effort in getting all the paperwork done.

When contacting the govt. (state, county or federal) you get more done showing up in person than on the phone.

Also it's not too soon to contact an attorney to set up legal power of attorney, wills, etc....

If you have siblings you will have far fewer problems in the long run if you have a plan in place that you develop together. Even the most level headed of people sometimes get a little wacky when an elder starts to need help. You wouldn't believe the kinds of things that caused nasty e-mails to fly around this issue in my family.

[The empressof all]

19. One more very important thing.

Make and keep copies of every piece of paper she gets regarding entitlements and services. Get a file going. I also kept a "chart" for lack of a better word to document things like dates of phone calls and what was discussed (with caregivers, med providers, entitlement workers). I learned not to trust my memory about things and just doing this kind of documentation really helped me to keep track of what happened when and what I was told by whom.

I know this sounds extremely anal but stuff can get complicated and I can't encourage you enough to do this. It's really just for you to refer back to so you don't need to worry about grammer, spelling etc... Just the facts.

[asthmaticeog]

2. Hell, count me in.

My mom's 80, and though she's still very spry and self-sufficient for now, that ain't gonna last forever. I'd love a group to commiserate and get advice, 'cuz frankly, I'm a little terrified.

[flvegan]

3. I'd be up for that.

My mom's in her late 60's. Doing okay now, but you can never have too much info nor too many resources.

[JimmyJazz]

4. Count me in Mrs. Beastman....

My parents are getting older and, while I don't think money is going to be an issue, no matter who survives whom, I'm going to be in for some real stress.

[terrya]

5. I'd be interested in this group.

My mom is 74. She's in relatively ok health now...but who knows? My two sisters and I would be taking care of her and we would want to be informed about resources and such.

Terry

[greatauntoftriplets]

6. I'd be interested...

My mother is 93 and lives with me. Her health is so-so, for her age. Her depression and anxiety disorder limit her quality of life.

My sweetie is caregiver for his 90-year-old father who, though with an advanced case of macular degeneration, refuses to leave his house and maintains a stable of "lady friends". We hope he has overnight company, but are not certain.

[Mrs_Beastman]

9. Lady friends, huh?

My mom and grandma are regulars on the local bingo scene ( they play for free because they run the concession stand...great to supplement their income!)My 95 year old grandma is always looking out for my mom's third husband.

[greatauntoftriplets]

11. Da meets them at church....

All of them were invited to his 90th birthday party a couple months ago. There was some fear that war would break out, but they (5 or 6 of them) got along great and had a wonderful time.

[Beware the Beast Man]

7. kick- I think this could be helpful to many people here.

:kick:
And not just because it's my wife's idea either (your kickback is in the mail, Mrs. B!).

[RevCheesehead]

8. Yes, I'd be interested.

[Lady President]

12. I would

My father is 70 and terminally ill with lung cancer. My grandmother is recovering from a broken hip and living with my parents. I'm an only child and only grandchild who is also the only driver.

I have to work full-time and would love to hear any ideas from others who are coping with similar situations. I'm also in over my head....

[terrya]

13. Kick for a great idea for a DU Group

[KitchenWitch]

14. This is a great idea

I am not currently in that situation, but I can foresee being there in a few years.

[Omphaloskepsis]

15. Perhaps a Wiki would be better?

Facts are facts. I imagine a stagnant forum where we tell what we know and the thing dies. And the same thing has been said many times before in that group. This is kind of rare. Computer help is a good use of my scroll wheel. I don't think this is.

I think A Wiki would be better. I don't run the place but the list of groups is fucking long.

[Omphaloskepsis]

16. Looks like they already have a Wiki.

http://demopedia.democraticunderground.com/index.php/Main_Page

[cassandra uprising]

17. I'm not there now,

but I often wonder how it'll all go down in the future with all the 'rents.

I wish you all my best.