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He will go down in history as one of TV's all-time great dads. Brittle and hard on the outside, but actually a decent human being deep inside.
I've culled these over the years from various sources. I call them Red Foreman's Words Of Wisdom.
There are only three times a man can say 'I love you': When he is drunk, When he is dying, and when he is in really deep trouble, which normally means he's drunk.
When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix 'em, they can turn you into a dumbass.
Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.
Son, leisure suits are for dumbasses, trust me.
Without rules, we'd all be up in trees, flinging our crap at each other.
If you're not mad enough to bare-knuckle box, you're not mad. Everyone, thank you for coming. I just wanna say that when my time comes, I wanna be buried face down, so that anyone who doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
Life's too short to spend it with people who annoy you.
I can't afford to feed your friends. I can't afford to feed you, but the law requires me to.
If I were a bird, I’d fly into a ceiling fan.
He's an ass... and he's dumb... He's a dumbass!
I've got two stages: anger and drinking.
I'm probably the only one here who's actually killed a man.
What are you going to put on your resume, Beck? Dumb-ass?
If they liked me, they'd leave me alone.
You do still like girls, don't you son?
I like the sound of a 'beer church'.
I'm not loving anyone I don't legally have to.
Oh, would you stop?! Luke Skywalker this. Luke Skywalker that. I'm sick of hearing about that little fruit.
Damn U.S. Government?! Without our government, you'd be stuck in Siberia now, suckin' the juice from a rotten Commie potato. Lemme tell you something. If the U.S. Government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass you say thank you and God bless America!
ERIC: Look, Dad, I need my car. Don't you remember when you were in high school? I--I bet you had some good times drivin' around senior year with your friends. RED: My senior year I was drivin' a gunboat around Okinawa. And if you count the Japanese snipers as my friends, then yes, I had some good times.
What the hell kind of college is this? Barefoot hippies playing Frisbee, barefoot hippies singing songs to trees?
There's nothing any of us can do. We're all screwed. You think I like being stuck here, nursing my lunatic wife back from the brink? Hell, no! But we can't control what happens to us. Even if by some stroke of luck, you actually hang on to Donna, eventually she's gonna turn into that. (he gestures to the bathroom.) And then a few years later you'll die.
You need to start thinking about your future: college, getting out of my house.
He did worse than Kelso? I watched that kid glue his hand to his face! You! What happened on the S.A.T.s?
Now use what little brains you got and hit the books, dumbass!
Why does everybody go everywhere with us? Look at all these damn kids. I feel like a Mormon.
Oh, no. She hasn't done this since Elvis died on the crapper.
Sorry Kitty, yelling’s the only part of being a father I enjoy.
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