What things do I avoid to not look like a hay-seed in NYC?

[HereSince1628]

The SO loves New York City, I'd enjoy watching a combine move through 60 acres of dry corn....

What do I need to know so that I don't embarass her on our 10th year anniversary????

[MrScorpio]

1. Ditch the strawhat and coveralls

And NY Yankee hat and leather will do ya

[HereSince1628]

3. Are there places I need to wear shoes?

What the hell is a water closet?

[MrScorpio]

13. You're in bigger trouble than I thought

You need these guys, post haste

[HereSince1628]

19. Hahahahahahh!

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

2. leave the goat tied to the barn

[HereSince1628]

4. Ok, Sammy I can leave behind...but not Nora my favorite ewe

[Burma Jones]

5. Do Not Look Up

That marks you right away......

[HereSince1628]

7. When I worked in the Chicago loop I learned that one...thanks...

One of my favorite things to do was answer Japenese tourist by stuttering out "I doo nod spike Anglische."

[terrya]

20. I've lived in Chicago for 11 years and I still do it.

I'm such a hayseed. :-)

[HereSince1628]

22. What is wierd is to be a service person who knows all the alleys

When I was a teletype repairman back in the stone age I found all kinds of short cuts no sane person would use...well, no teletype repairman is sane.

[ucmike]

14. and if you do stand to the side.

nothing says "out-of-towner" like a group standing in the middle of the sidewalk staring up while people trying to get to work swarm around them.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

6. please dont stop on the sidewalk and be like

"Golly gee, dem are some gosh darn tall buildings yous got here"

other then that, I think youll be ok

[HereSince1628]

9. Ja vell, vee got dem tall silos on da farm. I'd hardlee notice a big

buildink

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

10. lmao!

:hi:

[maveric]

8. My Dad would tell us" Dont look up at the tall buildings. They'll know...

you're a hick and try to rob you".

[HereSince1628]

12. Yeah I got the don't look up, no eye contact, never say hello

we do that here too to avoid the Salvation Army bell ringers.

[MisterP]

71. can HereSince1628 look at the SHORT buildings?

[ucmike]

11. never say this out loud....

"hey hon, this guys got a whole table of rolex's/gucci purses/hilfiger sunglasses for sale and they're only $7-or 2 for $10"

[HereSince1628]

18. Is there a franchise from Beijing in New York???

[KamaAina]

43. I think the franchise from 42nd St. is in Beijing

the knockoffs have been there quite a while. It's fun to watch 'em close up when the authorities come around!

[dr.strangelove]

15. Never stop walking in the middle of the sidewalk

Alway be aware of people trying to get to and from work. New York is filled with rushing people and we are bound to bowl over a tourist who stops in the middle of the sidewalk to see something. If you want to stop, move to the side and turn around ot look that no one is running into you.

Other than that, enjoy yourself. Go to Times Square and visit the tourism board for some good deals on shows, tickets to tourist things like the Empire State Building and museums. I would go to the Met, its the best museum in the world. I'd also go to Rock Center if it is during the holidays and the windows of Lord and Taylor and Sacs.

Have fun and enjoy yourself, just stay out of our way and you will have a great time and not get run over.

[HereSince1628]

17. Got that. Thanx

[Seabiscuit]

52. And remember to step over the dead bodies without flinching.

[formerrepuke]

16. You are under no obligation to acknowledge people on the street who

speak to you while you're walking around... they don't want your help; they just want your money.. or maybe just to give you a flyer for a nearby strip-show.

[HereSince1628]

21. Do I REALLY need to use toilet paper EVERYTIME?????????

[ucmike]

23. actually, no.

[yurbud]

24. shoes

[warrens]

25. Wear black, nothing but black

And if anyone says anything to you, glare at them, light a cigarette, and order another $14 martini. You'll fit right in.

[Lecky]

26. LOL n/t

[HereSince1628]

29. $14 martinis? That's CHEAP!

Well, not really. Do you think ordering a water-neat would have the same effect.

Most of my black is faded gray...do you think people will notice I don't have zippers?

[Scout1071]

38. It's like you read my mind with that post. Wear black. And walk like

you know where you are going. Even if you don't.

[Canadian Socialist]

64. HA! Trick answer

you can't smoke in the bars in NYC! Even I, a hayseed from Calgary, know that.

[Ivan Sputnik]

27. No white sneakers

No "Members Only" type jackets.

Wear as much black as possible. Try to look like you know where you're going and what you're doing, even if you don't.

[Seabiscuit]

53. And NO WHITE SOCKS! - Puleeeez!

[Taverner]

28. Combine and corn...kind of like the farmland Zamboni....

[Sanity Claws]

30. Fun thread

Just had to say I really enjoyed the comments.

[sleipnir]

31. Wear dark clothing. Black, stylish shoes are a must.

Those two things will go miles. Oh, a wear a dark jacket, it's going to be cold and there's nothing worse than the wind whipping off the river and into your face.

[Lannes]

32. looking at a map

Not walking like you are ten minutes late.If you take the subway be ready for a jolt when the train starts.A buddy came to visit me when I lived in NY and he didnt brace himself and he almost wound up in the next car :P

[liontamer]

33. HOWSton not HUGHston

[HereSince1628]

35. So then is it SoHow? Sohugh? or SoHo Ho Ho?

[Starbucks Anarchist]

37. I believe it's SoHo.

As in "Ho Ho Ho."

[Scout1071]

40. Good point.

But previous poster is correct on the pronunciation.

[liontamer]

65. SoHo Ho Ho n/t

[KamaAina]

41. Sixth Avenue not "Avenue of the Americas".

Same goes for other hokey tacked-on street names like "Fashion Avenue" (Seventh in the thirties).

[TheCentepedeShoes]

45. Good suggestion !

Not a NY'er myself, but been there a few times. Had to clamp hand over mouth of FL native BF before he said "Ave of Americas" to a cabbie. Unlike present hubby who grew up in up in NY and CT.

[fight4my3sons]

57. That just made me laugh so hard!! n/t

[calico1]

34. Try not to look lost.

If you are really taken aback or mesmerized by anything, like the Empire State bldg. for example, don't show it. Pretend you have seen it many times. Walk fast. New Yorkers walk fast. If you walk slow, especially if you are looking at everything and pointing and walking slow, its a dead giveaway. Enjoy your trip. It will be fun.:hi:

[HereSince1628]

36. Ok, but what to do to find a Pop machine?

[calico1]

42. Heheheh.

You know there are no "pop" machines in New York. Ask for a pop machine and that's it. You are done passing as a non tourist. New Yorkers drink soda. And if you must ask for help, ask a store clerk or paper vendor or something. Actually, most New Yorkers really are friendly and will help you. :)

[bettyellen]

46. Tekserve on West 28th Street sells bottled coke from a pop machine.

Next question?

[Seabiscuit]

54. Don't carry a Starbucks coffee cup on the sidewalk

They'll think you're a tourist.

[RebelOne]

39. I don't think you should worry since anything goes in NYC.

[In_The_Wind]

44. Don't wear plaid flannel.

[Ivan Sputnik]

48. Actually NYers do wear plaid flannel

in the winter, sometimes, but they wear it ironically, with black jeans or something.

[In_The_Wind]

49. Then it musta been something else ...

cause my 2nd ex-hubby hated it when I wore plaid on the times I visited our second home downstate :shrug:

[HereSince1628]

59. Hmmm, looks like I have to add a winter coat to the fancy shoes

I suppose my plaid flannel hat with underchin strap to hold the ear flaps is not going to work either

[Metta]

47. Your questions are the good beginning of a conversation with your so.

If it were me, I'd do my best to relax and be myself. If you fret about what to do right, you may as well stay home and open a vein since you'll have lots of resentment to remember about the trip.

[ET Awful]

50. Why am I hearing the "Green Acres" theme in the background right now?

Greeeeeeen Acres is the place to be.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide.
Keep Manhattan just give me that countryside :)

[Seabiscuit]

51. Ditch the coveralls and cowpie-encrusted hip boots...

Shop at Brooks Brothers and Saks Fifth Avenue when you get to NYC.

[HereSince1628]

60. My black rubber Wellys only go to the knee.

Around here it is only the politicians that are up to thier hips in shit.

[Seabiscuit]

61. ROTFLMAO!!!

:rofl:

[Ivan Sputnik]

62. Black rubber Wellys are fine in NYC

if there is snow, slush, etc. Just as long as they're black.

[Seabiscuit]

55. Never ask directions to "Greenwich Village". It's "The Village".

[MANative]

56. I've worked in Manhattan for the last 7 years and found

that the vast majority of New Yorkers are really nice and helpful to visitors, so don't worry too much about whether you look like a tourist. It is REALLY good advice to walk fast, and stick to the inner or outer sides of the sidewalk. There are cops everywhere, and most are very willing to give directions if you get turned around, particularly the ones who work in mid-town. Definitely go to Rock Center and if you're going before Christmas, see the windows at Macy's & Saks - gorgeous this year!

Have fun :hi:

[hyphenate]

58. Just don't gawk

even though you might want to. When you're in Manhattan, every building pretty much is going to seem enormous. And another thing, be aware of your surroundings--pickpockets are everywhere.

One more thing--don't try to cross a street if the light is against you. NYers drive like nuts sometimes, and you could get killed.

Oh--and remember NYC is MORE than just Manhattan. There are 5 boroughs--the Bronx, Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island. While Manhattan is a lot of business, the others have large residential areas in comparison to what is on Manhattan. (Unless you can afford a fortune for a place to live) If you get to Queens, visit the Unisphere, and the Museum next door which has a fantastic 3D display of all of NYC.

[Ikonoklast]

63. Be sure to wear your John Deere or International Harvester

baseball cap, OshGoshB'Gosh coveralls, flannel shirt with holes in the elbows, old well-worn Carhartt coat w/last years' deer hunting license still in it, and a big ol' chaw of Red Man in your cheek. Make sure to knock the dried mud off your best pair of boots.



If you happen to see a few funny dressed people there, don't stare or ask them where their buggy is.


They aren't Amish. Trust me on this one.



Wait a minute, you said you DON'T want to embarass the wife?
Never mind.

[mitchum]

66. Pretend like you actually care about the doings of Ron Perleman...

Donald Trump, Maureen Dowd, Graydon Carter and other citizens of the biggest small town in the world

[Horus45]

67. Don't look ANYONE in the eye, and Never say Hi or Hello to anyone.

[seemunkee]

68. Don't look anyone in the eye.

Bad habit of mine and I always attract the wacko's no matter what city I'm in.

[mcscajun]

69. Don't ask street vendors "How long are you open?"

Don't open your wallet on the street.

Don't Stare up at tall buildings with a big open mouth.

Don't say hello to folks you bump into in intersections; in fact, don't talk to ANYONE besides your SO, taxi drivers, and folks you're giving money to for goods and services.

If you're on public transportation, Don't Make Eye Contact with folks across from you. In fact, keep eye contact to a minimum, except with waiters. Don't worry, they'll be busy avoiding eye contact with you, anyway.

Avenues from the East side of Manhattan to the West: First, Second, Third, Lexington, Park, Madison, Sixth (NEVER Avenue of the Americas), Seventh, Eighth, Ninth, Tenth, Eleventh, Twelfth). These all run North-South.

Numbered Streets run East-West, and increment UP as you go north on Manhattan island. Remember this and you'll reduce your chances of getting "Lost in Manhattan". :)

There's a lot more to it than that, but what the hell. I've got to leave you Some Adventure. :)

[Redneck Socialist]

70. Wear a Red Sox cap.

You'll get points for boldness. ;-)

[musette_sf]

73. you left out the bloody nose part :-)

[musette_sf]

72. Ditto as above: Wear black.

You wear black not (just) to look cool, but also to hide dirt. NY has many occasions and places where you can easily pick up schmutz, so the black wardrobe is mainly for practicality.

Do not smile or say "hi!" to people on the street; walk fast and like you know exactly where you are going (this will eliminate many of the opportunities where you might smile or say "hi!" to people on the street). It's not that New Yorkers are unfriendly - we are not - but ppl there just do not smile and say "hi!" to strangers on the street. When I moved to the South, I was all creeped out when total strangers would smile and say "hi!" all the time.

Do not open and read street map; do not open and read subway map. I'm not sure how to get around this, but map readers are instantly pinned out as tourists.

If you have to/want to go downtown to see What Happened, maybe pick a nice day, go to the Winter Garden (the glass-domed garden next to the WTC site, not the theatre), stop in and get your view from there - you can go upstairs to where the passageway to the WTC used to be, and get a good look - then go have some drinks and lunch at one of the places in the Winter Garden. The reconstruction was done quite well and it's very pretty. You will also feel better asking the cab driver to take you to "The Winter Garden downtown", than to "Ground Zero".

And what everyone else said. Have fun. I :loveya: New York.

On edit: this site conveys the essence of home, at least to me:
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/