Battle Hymn of the Republicans - stop me if you've heard it

[joefree1]

BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLICANS

Mine Eyes have seen the bungling of that stumbling moron Bush;
he has blathered all the drivel that the neo-cons can push;
he has lost sight of all reason 'cause his head is up his tush;
The Doofus marches on.

I have heard him butcher syntax like a kindergarten fool;
There is warranted suspicion that he never went to school;
Should we fault him for the policies - or is he just their tool?
The lies keep piling on.

Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
His wreckage will live on.

I have seen him cut the taxes of the billionaires' lone heir;
As he spends another zillion on an aircraft carrier;
Let the smokestacks keep polluting - do we really need clean air?
The surplus is now gone.

Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Your safety net is gone!

Now he's got a mighty hankerin' to bomb a prostrate state;
Though the whole world knows its crazy - and the U.N. says to wait;
When he doesn't have the evidence, "We must prevaricate."
Diplomacy is done!

Oh, a trumped-up war is excellent; we have no moral bounds;
Should the reasons be disputed, we'll just make up other grounds;
Enraging several billions - to his brainlessness redounds;
The Doofus marches on!

Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
The Doofus marches on!

More jokes here:
http://www.ediablo.com/ediablojokes.html

[joefree1]

1. ,,, and one of my "subverted jokes"

So Rush Limbaugh dies and goes to Hell. Its horrible. Burning fires. Hot bubbling lava! Incredible pain! No Oxycontin. He looks over and sees George W. Bush having sex with a beautiful woman. Non-stop, sweaty, constant, back-breaking sex.

So the next time Satan is going by on an inspection tour, Rush complains. "This sucks! I have to suffer for all eternity, and that White House squatting frat boy gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

The Devil replied, "Who are you to question my punishment of that woman?"

[joefree1]

2. Speaking of Hell

Donald Rumsfeld dies and is sent to Hell. Satan decides to personally escort the famous Secratary of Defense. The Devil takes Rummy to that part of Hell reserved for politicians. Satan shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.

So Satan opens the first door. In this room there are various people he remembers from the Ford administration standing in shit up to their waist. But Donald says "no,please show me the next room".

Satan shows him the next room and this has cabinet staff he remembers from the Reagan administration. But here they're standing with shit up to their ears, so he says no again.

Finally Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people he worked with in the Nixon administration. Here there is only shit up to their knees and they're drinking cups of coffee and eating cakes. So Donald says I'll choose this room please. Satan says O.K. and leaves Donald to greet his old buddys.
Five seconds later, a demon strolls in, and screams "OK you repukes, coffee breaks over, BACK ON YOU'RE HEADS!!"