Etiquette question

[ChoralScholar]

Guys, I have a bit of a problem.

When we moved here, we met our next door neighbors. They are in bad financial shape, because the husband is disabled, and they have two elementary age kids.

My wife invited them over last Wed. for dinner and for the kids to help decorate our tree. They stayed that night until around 12:00am.

They showed up again on Thursday around 9:00am, and pretty much stayed the whole day, leaving sometime around 7:00 that evening.

Same story on Friday.

We were gone to see family on Sat, Sun, and Mon.

Tuesday, they come by at noon and stay until 2:00am.

Today, they came by around noon and was here when I got home at 4:00pm. They did invite us to dinner tonight, but I did not feel well, and did not go.

My wife is still being nice, and even enjoying the company, but I really feel like they've been around WAAAAY too much. They're sucking up all my vacation time!!!! I need some peace and quiet.

Am I being selfish, or are they really imposing?

[yvr girl]

1. They are imposing

That's a lot of time spent visiting - and they aren't even family.

[NMMNG]

2. They are definitely imposing

You gave them an invitation for one day, not every day. They don't even have the decency to ask if you have other plans, and stay until obscene times on weeknights. They are being downright rude.

[ChoralScholar]

3. Thanks.

I feel like I should feel guilty for not wanting them here, but I don't. (does that make sense)

[NMMNG]

10. If anything *they* should feel guilty for taking advantage of your

generosity. You should have kicked them out days ago.

[LisaL]

4. No, you are not being selfish. It's ridiculous that they should

show up like that, un-invited.

[LisaL]

5. No, you are not being selfish. It's ridiculous that they should

show up like that, un-invited.

[LisaL]

6. Of course they are imposing.

Somehow, they should get a clue.

[ChoralScholar]

7. Wow. You must feel strongly to have posted three times. :)

Thanks for the support.

[LisaL]

8. I didn't want to post three times.

The darn computer kept freezing up on me.

[ChoralScholar]

9. understood.

[GrpCaptMandrake]

11. I understand every bit of your frustration, I think

but I must ask: How are they "sucking up vacation time?"

If you're saying you had planned specific time w/ your spouse, and they've caused that not to happen, I get it. If you're saying you're missing "spontaneous" time w/ your spouse, I get it.

Apart from that, are they hanging all over you? Sounds from your post like your wife is enjoying the company, as you described it.

I sense overall, that it's the "peace and quiet" that you crave. And that's legit. In spades, lately.

It's definitely an imposition, but it's likely not on the part of the kids. It's an offense by their parents.

By all means, speak to the parents, if you feel the need. But say nothing to the children.

:hug:

[ChoralScholar]

12. It has nothing to do with the kids at all.

They're usually playing with the dogs or keeping my 2 year old occupied.

I just need some time to sit on the couch in my pajamas and relax and think about nothing. Just one day - no committments. That's all I want.

[GrpCaptMandrake]

14. Bad read on my part

Walk off from the grown-ups. Do what you wannna do.

Christ, but I've been there. Once started a leaf blower standing in the front door.

Still have a family friend who insists on dropping by 30 minutes before my show goes on-air "to chat." At that point, I'm trapped. I try to cummunicate the fact that we're REEEEEAAAAALLLLLY good friends but I "gotta work on the show now."

Dirt-eating levels of frustration!

[khashka]

13. They are imposing...

And that's the bad thing.


The good thing....it sounds like you have created a home where people feel accepted and welcome.

But you don't have to be the fall guy. Just say when enough is enough. You can do it politely.

You need to talk to your wife - you both sound like loving and welcoming people.But there is nothing wrong with telling her "I only have so much time to spend with you and I want to spend it with you."

Opening your home to your neighbors is wonderful - but it's your home.

Khash.

[REP]

15. Give Them The Boot

They are being rude as hell. Next time they show up, tell them it's a bad time and shut the door - and do it each time they show up without calling. Showing up unannounced is piss-poor manners; doing it day after day after day and staying for 10-14 hours is rude beyond belief.

[Merrick]

16. That's kind of sad (and creepy)

for a couple of adults to come over so often, especially considering you just recently met... pretty weird.