So, what did you all give your house staff for the holidays?

[Rabrrrrrr]

I love giving gifts to the staff - they're so appreciative, but I have to tell you, finding a gift for the coachman is always a pain. He's just your typical coachman: a drunk Irishman with too many children, and while I am happy to give liquor as a gift, somehow it seems wrong for him.

I already provide his uniforms, so clothing is out.

I had thought last year that I would set aside money for his children to go to college, since his wife was accidentally killed (she was helping the cooper, and a band let loose and snapped her in the head and she died a couple days later), but then I remembered that I have his kids working in the scullery, so they aren't getting into college anyway.

So I got him a bag of coal so he could have some extra heat for the week of Christmas and New Year's, and one my old dented aluminum fish poachers. He was so appreciative! At least, I think he was, but it's often hard to tell with the drunken brogue what his mood actually is. Or what he's saying.

I got new wigs for the doormen, a foot-pedaled sewing machine for the seamstresses, and even went so far as to commission a portrait of my head butler, whose family has been with my family for 8 generations.

[GOPisEvil]

1. Shit, they got to keep their jobs, that's gift enough.

I didn't get near as much from my Bush Tax Cut as I should have. But, good help is hard to find, so I kept them all on.

[texanwitch]

2. I gave my staff gift cards from Walmart, $25 ones.

[ucmike]

3. a one day reprieve from the beatings.

except the whipping boy. i'd hate to upset his routine.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. Well, yeah, giving the whippin' boy a reprieve would just be...ironic,

and probably not at all appreciated.

[ucmike]

11. and i'd have to dock his pay.

who wants that during the holidays.
mighty generous of me, i'd say.

[greatauntoftriplets]

4. I sent my Irish houseman....

his wife and their 15 high-spirited children to the Tavern on the Green for a festive dinner.

I hope the kids raised hell and pissed off the high rollers...which was my intention.

:evilgrin:

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Oh, you - YOU - are brilliant! Positively brilliant!

I am going to remember that for next year!

That's what those stuffed shirts need - an drunk, uneducated over-breeding emotionally unstable irishman (I know that's all redundant, but in case there are people on DU who don't have a staff, though I would doubt it, I thought I should spell that out) and his hellion, red-haired equally drunk and fight-ready children.

Oh, you are positively brilliant!

[greatauntoftriplets]

8. I am also Irish...

:evilgrin:

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. You must be one of the good ones, then

:7

[greatauntoftriplets]

12. There are "bad" Irish????

:shrug:

[wildhorses]

6. wildhorses ran free all day so the stableboy

did not have to muck stalls that day...

[Catchawave]

9. I am the House Staff.....

*snork* :hi:

[redwitch]

13. I gave the wet nurse a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret

She could use a little more support, if you get my meaning.

[SofaKingLiberal]

14. I let them share the table scraps with the dogs.

I hope I didn't spoil them.