The greatest news of my entire LIFE!

[Samurai_Writer]

Got my mail yesterday, and there was the letter I had been waiting for, for the last 14 years. A letter from the son who I surrendered for adoption when he was only 6 days old. I had been writing to his adoptive parents and him for the past 14 years (he's almost 28 now), with very little response from his adoptive parents (maybe 6 letters in all that time), and none from him... until today!

Needless to say, I was in shock, ecstatic, and nervous all at the same time. But after reading the letter, tears of joy were streaming down my face. I won't post the letter here, because I value his privacy, but the highlights were:

He apologized repeatedly for not writing until now.

He told me how great he is doing (and he's doing amazingly well, I'm so happy for him!)

He told me the reason he didn't write sooner. (He was afraid of the emotions that communicating with me might bring up -- but his emotions or mine? He wasn't very specific.)

I'm still in shock, and didn't get much sleep last night, but I am happier and more at peace now than I ever have been. Damn, now I'm crying again....

[av8rdave]

1. Congrats on your news!

And thanks for the smile it put on my face. I'm so happy for you!

[Road Scholar]

2. Congratulations! I'm happy for you!!!

[speedoo]

3. I'm very happy for you.

That's a wonderful story. Even though I have two kids of my own, it's hard to comprehend what this means to you, since they have been part of my life since they were born.

[ceile]

4. That's wonderful!

I can only imagine the joy you're feeling!!
:hug: :hug:

[dolo amber]

5. Oh wow, how awesome for you!!

Congrats! :toast:

[jukes]

6. VERY happy for you

must be a huge relief to you. there have been several incidents in the past where i'd been afraid that i'd hurt some1 deeply. occasionally you get to revisit the incident & it's a vast relief to know you're forgiven or that the incident wasn't scarring to that individual.

a pal-hug for your pleasant resolution!!:pals:

[Samurai_Writer]

20. Pal-hugs back, too!

Thanks so much!

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

7. Congrats!!

:hug:

[ET Awful]

8. YAY!

That is so cool :).

Congratulations.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. My dear RadFemFl!

What fabulously happy news for you!

I can feel your excitement and joy pouring off my screen....

This is so wonderful!

And of course you're crying! You would have to have been made out of stone not to be!

And obviously you're very human......after all, you gave up your son so he could have a better life!

And it paid off, big time!

Congratulations! I hope you and your son will have many many good letters, and conversations as well!

:party: :toast: :toast: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :toast: :toast: :party:

[SeattleGirl]

10. What wonderful news!

I can't even image the emotional roller coaster you must be on, but I am so happy for you, and for your son.

:bounce:

[Shine]

11. I'm crying too. I was really touched to read that story, thanks.

Miracles happen every day, RadFemFL. I wish you many blessings of Happiness and Love, as you re-connect with your son. :loveya: :hug:

Thanks for sharing this wonderful and heartful piece of news with us today. What a great gift.

I believe in LOVE.

[eyepaddle]

12. Wow, that is beautiful

:toast: :hug:

[Blue_In_AK]

13. Excellent news, RadFem...

Check your PM.

[Samurai_Writer]

14. If anyone is interested in the entire story

My adoption story is online at http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/2991/marybb.html

Thanks for all the well wishes, I really appreciate them!

[ThomCat]

15. That is so awesome.

I babysit for friends who adopted. They became very close friends with the Jes (birth-mother). Even though Jes lives several states away, they travel back and forth visiting each other several times per year.

Ethan doesn't know that Jes is his birth-mom, but he knows her and loves her. They plan on telling him in a few years when he'll understand.

Jess just got married and Ethan was the ring bearer. Her new husband understands the whole situation and loved Ethan too. So it's working out well all-around.

Wouldn't it be great if more adoptions worked this way? Instead of questions and worries, it's a large happy very extended family.

[Samurai_Writer]

16. Yes it would be wonderful if all adoptions could be open like that

Your friends are wonderful to realize that their son needs to know his birth family. I wish more adoptive parents were like that.

[mzteris]

48. um - he should know from the get go

depending on how old he is - well - looks like he's too old for the "I've always known" thing....

Just IMO, of course - but I think it's better treated as a basic fact of life rather than some big secret/divulgence "thing".

If he's still fairly young, "birthmom, birthparents, etc.) should just be part of everyday language - .

My son has always known he was adopted and it's just the way it is. Of course it would be a bit hard to hide in our case. :) We did have contact with the birthmom until last year but we've had to sever ties until she can get her act together (which will probably be never :( ) as he was getting too old for her to be dropping in and out of his life for extended periods of time. It was just too distressing for everyone.

[redqueen]

17. Awww RadFem... I'm so happy for you.

:)

What a touching moment you've shared... I can't even imagine how filled with joy you must be. :) :) :)

[CC]

18. Great news.

So glad he wrote you it must makes it a bit easier on you to know he is doing well.

[intheflow]

19. I'm so so happy for you, RadFem!

Women faced with unwanted pregancies have no good recourse. I chose to keep my son, and he turned out great, but raising him alone was a hard, hard row to hoe. My best friend had an abortion, and though she doesn't necessarily regret it, she sometimes... wonders what he would have been like. By giving up your some all those years ago, you showed a bravery and self-lessness that I didn't have. I feel closer to you now than I ever have before, Sister RadFem. I'm very glad he contacted you! :hug:

[Samurai_Writer]

21. Well I don't know how selfless and brave I was...

It really wasn't my decision to surrender him for adoption. I wanted to keep him. But I am glad everything has worked out so well.

*hugs*

[elehhhhna]

22. k & R

[auntAgonist]

23. I'm very happy for you and your son..

I hope you have many years of communication and sharing with him.


aA

[mcar]

24. How wonderful!

It must really ease your mind to know he's doing well. What a mature 14 year old to communicate about his feelings with you.

[Samurai_Writer]

30. He's not 14, he's 28

I started sending letters to his adoptive parents when he was almost 14. That was 14 years ago. :)

[Samurai_Writer]

31. Dupe *NT*

[Book Lover]

25. Thank you so very much for sharing your story

I am in tears. Thank you. And I am so very, very happy that your son wrote back to you.

[MissB]

26. I'm so happy for you.

I'm guessing his emotions. :shrug:

My oldest sibling is adopted. He did finally contact his birth mom a few years ago, and I'm glad he did. He is an amazing person - and I know that part of what made him who he is today is due to his genetic makeup, not necessarily his upbringing. I'm sure his mom is just as amazing as he is.

I hope you're able to see him face to face someday, if that is what you both want. :)

[u4ic]

27. That's wonderful, RadFem!

I remember reading your story awhile back...it was so heartbreaking (and so maddening...the 'home').

I hope this is the start of the relationship that you have wanted for so long! :hug:

[bigwillq]

28. How wonderful!

That is incredible news! :hug:

I hope you two can meet up. If not, at least continue to communicate through mail, e-mail, etc.


Again, very happy! :hug:

[crispini]

29. Wow.

Congrats!

[Triana]

32. OMG! This is awesome!

Many congratulations to you!

[deadparrot]

33. Congratulations!

That's amazing news. There are so many emotions that go along with adoption that it can get really messy. I hope you'll get to see/communicate with him more in the coming weeks and months. :hi:

[Wapsie B]

34. Congrats to you!

I have adoptees in my family and I know how important finding lost family members can be. I'm happy for you. :)

[Nikia]

35. I am glad that you have heard from your son

I hope he will continue to be in contact with you.

[GOPFighter]

36. That IS good news!

I can only imagine how exciting receiving that letter was! I hope you and your son will grow close over the years. Recommended.

[wain]

37. I am so happy for both of you

I wish you many, many treasured moments for years and years to come.

DU is such an amazing family. I love happy ending stories!

:hug: :grouphug: :cry:

[mdmc]

38. wow

peace and low stress
:cry:

[Samurai_Writer]

39. Thanks again for all the hugs and support

I am trying to compose my letter to him now. Maybe I'll get you all to critique it.

[Beausoir]

40. Wow! Are you going to try and meet? What a long wait!!

He is lucky to have found you. The birtmother of one of my sons has moved away and I don't know how to find her. I wish she would have kept in contact, but I can understand her need to make her decisions.

I know this must be a thrilling and yet scary time for you both. Peace and good vibes to you and your son.

[nuxvomica]

41. Congratulations!

Hallmark should have a card for this kind of day. I can't imagine how happy you must feel now but I thank you for sharing this with us. :party:

[TheProphetess]

42. That's truly wonderful

Congratulations to you. What an amazing feeling it must be! My best friend is adopted and would very much like to be able to communicate with her birth parents. Your story brought tears to my eyes. It's fantastic!! :bounce:

[kiraboo]

43. I am very happy for you! You understand that this is exciting

for him as well, and also frightening. You will both no doubt be very grateful for whatever relationship develops. Again, I am so happy for you. I wish you and your son all the best.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

44. Regarding the fear of emotions

Given that the adoptive parents have been very sporadic in their responses, he may be referencing them as well. Either way, I am glad he communicated regardless of the fear of doing so and gave you the joy of hearing from him in his own words.

I am happy for you

[Samurai_Writer]

47. You might have a point there

His adoptive parents have been very hesitant about communicating with me, especially after he turned 18. Before that, I would get a letter maybe once every 18 months or so. Since then, I've gotten two in 10 years. I know my son is very close to his adoptive parents, so it may be that he was hesitant to write me for that reason as well.

[w8liftinglady]

45. bless you

you made a huge sacrifice...I'm glad there is closure for you and your son...you gave your son the most unselfish,loving gift a parent can give.I hope you find peace,love.:hug:

[Missy Vixen]

46. I'm so happy for you

I hope the two of you will be able to get to know each other. You're right, this is wonderful news!

Good for you,
Julie

[Bullwinkle925]

49. That is wonderful news.

I'm happy for you. I'll probably be thinking about you all day now with a smile on my face.

:toast:

[i kiss first]

50. i can only imagine

Hey, what a special moment for the both of you. congratulations! Maybe when you two have talked a little you can set up a meeting. I would like to add that my father found out a few years back that he had a son (my step-brother) which he did not know of. They have met once but i have never met nor talked to him. I want to develop a relationship because i'm an only child and have always wanted a brother but i just dont know what to say. I am the same age as your son, hope you get to meet him and catch up on life ! Sincerely, joshua

[Patiod]

51. as an adoptee, I have a special place in my heart for bmoms

found mine, and she is a delightful person

your son is lucky - he has 3 parents who care about him - most folks only get 2.

GREAT news - the next few mos will be an emotional rollarcoaster for sure. hang on, and enjoy

feel free to PM if you need to vent at any time to someone who's been there

[Metta]

52. Whew! What a wave to ride.

Congratulations. I hope this pans out for the greatest good for all concerned. :thumbsup: :)

[tibbir]

53. How wonderful!

I hope this is the start of a series of communications between you and your son.

[Samurai_Writer]

54. The response I'm sending to my son...

Here's a draft of the letter I'm going to send to my son. Let me know what you think.

Dear Son's real name,

Thank you so much for your letter. I am glad to hear how well you are doing and about the wonderful things you are doing with your life.

It was probably hard to write this first letter to me, and I completely understand that. I am just glad you had the courage to write and tell me the reason why you have not written before now. I really appreciate it.

I am willing to have whatever level of communication you are comfortable with, and as always, am here if you have any questions.

I have moved (yes, again), and have a new address. I was living in YYYYY when I first moved to Colorado, but found the housing too small and way too expensive. I am still officially in YYYYY (unincorporated part), but am up in the mountains, in a little town called XXXXX. I love it up here, it is very peaceful and beautiful.

To give you a quick update on what's been going on with me, I am still working as a technical writer and editor. I moved here to be closer to my sister and her family, especially my nieces. They are 5 and 3 years old, and my sister and husband adopted them from China. I've really enjoyed having a more active part in their lives.

In my spare time, I do photography semi-professionally. You can view some of my photos at http://photos.yahoo.com/xxxxxxxx. I also enjoy hiking, riding my bike, playing piano, cooking (I'm a vegetarian), reading, spending time with family, and taking care of my two cats and my housemates' two dogs when they are gone (they travel alot). I volunteer with the XXXXX Fire Department, and also am a volunteer adoption searcher, helping people reunite with their birth family members. I volunteer at the homeless shelter when I can. Like you, I have always felt the need to 'give back' to the community, to help make this world a little bit of a better place.

Again, thank you for your letter, and I hope that in writing it, it has given you some comfort as well. Feel free to write me whenever you like.

Love,
RadFem's real name
address
phone
email