If black is for funerals, why do people now wear it to weddings?

[Haole Girl]

I was shocked to see so many people, especially 20-something women, wear black
at the wedding I went to yesterday. It was an outdoor wedding, too...and, I might add, 90 degrees!

So, what gives? Why are so many people wearing black to weddings?
Is it a way to say "up yours" to the older generation?

Just curious.



Edit: wrong word.

[SeattleGirl]

1. I don't see anything wrong with wearing black to a wedding

I was a bridesmaid once, and the dress I wore was black -- that was the bride's choice.

[Haole Girl]

2. Was it a formal wedding, though?

Guess I was just brainwashed at an early age that it is inappropriate, since it is traditionally a color of mourning (for western cultures).

[SeattleGirl]

12. Yes, it was a formal wedding

We (the bridesmaids) got a lot of compliments on how nice our dresses looked.

[Haole Girl]

13. I'm sure, as an official color, and more formal it would be nice...

especially with pearls! I've never been to a wedding with that as "the color," but I've seen photos of them. And, as an official theme, it wouldn't bother me in the least.

[SeattleGirl]

23. We did wear pearls, as a matter of fact.

And as I remember, some of the female guests wore black dresses too.

[Callalily]

3. Most of my wardrobe

is black. Nothing macabre about it, just that the styles I like are mostly in black. That's all, please don't fret about this, not worth it. Black does not have the connotations that it has had in the past.

[Deja Q]

4. No, they feel that they won't be able to have loose sex anymore.

It's a funeral for their sex life.

Which is sad because one of the two will invariably get jiggy elsewhere anyway...

[LeftyMom]

5. I wear black for everything

My mom wore a black dress to her own wedding though, so I've got wierdness in my DNA.

Part of it is economics though, my funeral outfit is my job interview outfit is my court outfit etc. I'd wear it to weddings too if the weather was cooperative.

[WindRavenX]

6. it's pretty common

As long as it's not an Irish wedding, it's considered kosher to wear black to a wedding :hi:

(which is good, because I look awesome in black :D )

[Haole Girl]

8. Maybe that's where I get it from...

my mother was of Irish descent. She's the one who ruined me in this area!

[WindRavenX]

10. LOL it's all good

:hi:

I asked a few weeks ago if black was ok-- most people thought it was execpt those who were Irish :D

[fortyfeetunder]

7. An ancient saying

"Marry in black, wish yourself back"

Black is a neutral color...

[RagingInMiami]

9. I take it you never been married

[Haole Girl]

11. Me? Yes, I have been married 13 years.

Nobody wore black to my wedding. I don't know if it was just a different era, or all my Irish friends...maybe because it was in a Catholic church? Hmmm...it's all a mystery to me!

[RagingInMiami]

14. You know the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

[Haole Girl]

16. Is this a joke?

I don't practice Irish anything, really.

From what I know, at a wake (traditionally) the body was displayed while people drank and fondly told stories of the deceased.

But, what does that have to do with whether I'm married or not, anyway?

[RagingInMiami]

17. It is a joke

I used to live in Dublin so I am very fond of the Irish. You brought up Irish Catholic weddings, so I thought of the joke.

The punchline: One less drunk.

[WindRavenX]

18. AHAHAHAH

ah, good one :D

[RagingInMiami]

46. Thank you

I like people with a sense of humor. The Irish in Dublin loved that joke.

[Haole Girl]

19. Got it. n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. Because black is not exclusively for funerals - black is formal.

At least in the West. There is no event for which wearing black is not appropriate.

And black has never been exlusively for funerals. It's the MAIN color for funerals and for mourning, yes; but not exclusively.

[caty]

20. And lets not forget that black

is slimming.

[Haole Girl]

21. I know...maybe that's what they were thinking

Still, I couldn't do it. I'm officially brainwashed.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

22. I wore black to my mom's wedding.

The only colors I wear if I'm "dressing up" is black or red or black & red. I'm 23.

It was a hott dress too with some strappy stilletos.

[Haole Girl]

24. Well, I hope you didn't out-shine the bride!

;-)

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

25. Nah, my mom's a really well-preserved hottie.

[NewJeffCT]

36. I'm sure your mom loves to be called "well preserved"

:sarcasm:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

39. I don't think she cares what she's called as long as...

random strangers still think she's my older sister (she had me at 30, btw). When that stops, she'll probably have a heart attack or something. In the meantime, I'll be raiding her closet.

[miss_american_pie]

26. Exactly how many brides "qualify"

to wear white?

I think most of those traditions are on their way out.

[Haole Girl]

28. I've thought of that, too

Mine was off-white with sequins (the sequins had a pin tinge)...I figured, since I was over 30 years old, it would look stupid to wear an all-white gown.

Edit: typo

[miss_american_pie]

29. I wore white because I look horrid in off-white.

[khashka]

27. Nothing wrong with it

If I were a woman my wedding dress would be black. When I married my exwife, hers was red. She said "I'm a scarlet woman, I'm wearing a scarlet dress!"

Anyway, black is always in, always classic....


Khash.

[Haole Girl]

30. Thanks, I guess I am the only one (here anyway)

who is conservative about this. OMG...I hope this doesn't make me a freeper!!!

[no name no slogan]

31. Same reason you wear it to a funeral

whatever the hell that means.

[Lars39]

32. Wearing black, you don't have to worry about accidentally

wearing the colors used for the bridesmaids' dresses, etc.

[ghostsofgiants]

33. Unless the bridesmaid is SeattleGirl

:P

[pitohui]

34. because they are rude and tacky

they think they look better in black, which of course it is only the rare person who looks better in black, but since they are under this delusion they don't care that it's the bride's day and that they are being rude

you see, it is only about them, even on the bride's special day

what can you do?

send them an anonymous nasty-gram about their discourteous behavior? it won't do any good, because selfish people don't have the decency to get embarrassed anyway

all they care abt is their fantasy that black makes them look thin

it isn't aimed at older generation especially, it is simply they don't care abt anyone else's feelings

i'm not irish, either, so no use falling back on that excuse, it's just plain rude, if people are going to give ignorant advice it would be better if they didn't give advice at all, if you don't know the answer it's okay not to post people!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

44. How exactly is wearing black rude and tacky? I'm 75% Irish BTW.

Even my neurotic Irish mother was fine with me wearing black to her wedding. Until this thread, I never even knew it was inappropriate to wear black to a wedding.

It's also not a fantasy that black makes me look thin. I'm thin either way. I think if you're a size 0, then it's not a fantasy that black makes you look thin.

[greatauntoftriplets]

35. Black-and-white weddings have been in for some time...

and the old taboo about not wearing black to weddings seems to be passe now.

Personally, I never do. The darkest color I have ever worn to a wedding is navy blue. But that's me.

[Haole Girl]

37. Ah, is that the sound of reason I hear?

[greatauntoftriplets]

38. I don't know about that.....

but my ancestry is significantly Irish. I also like to wear bright colors, although I do wear black at times. Just not all the time.

[Dangerously Amused]

40. Times change. Traditions fall by the wayside.

I think the color black no longer has the connotations it did years ago. Black is high fashion these days, seen on runways and in glossy mags as chic, sleek, sexy, sophisticated and classic. I think those wearing black to a wedding would argue that the cut and style of the dress convey the "message" more than the color alone.


P.S. - Mom says people wear shorts and t-shirts to attend services at her church these days. That would have been scandalous when I was a kid.

[Haole Girl]

41. At the risk of "beating a dead horse" further (Robb's post)

thank you for your well-spoken response.

[Digit]

42. I have worn black dresses at weddings...

Black is always fine...fits in anywhere.

[Scooter24]

43. I'm an event planner,

having done dozens of weddings. Dress is usually coordinated by the time of day of the wedding. Though nothing is set in stone, usually I would recommend that morning and afternoon weddings be slightly more casual. So for women- light suits, skirts, and colorful or floral dresses. If the wedding was at night, then for women I'd recommend dark and sophisticated dress, elegant suits, jewelry, and an evening bag.

Black is a universal color, but for weddings I'd stray away from monotones. Accent with a color scarf or wrap.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

45. When I play for weddings, I always wear black

and for many years now, I've noticed that a lot of guests wear black as well.

When I attend a wedding as a guest, I prefer to wear light colors so I don't feel like I'm showing up in my work clothes!