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The other morning I posted a thread which was very difficult to do. It was regarding a sense of severe depression I've had in the last week, where constant suicidal thoughts crowded my mind. They weren't immediate and there were no attempts, but the feeling of hopelessness was very real. At the time, I was still uncomfortable discussing my problems, so I deleted my thread a few minutes later. However in the five to ten minutes the thread was up, I received several recommendations to seek help, something I had considered, but was avoiding.
Finally, yesterday I decided I would no longer keep it in and decided I couldn't keep going on the way I was. I decided to tell my parents a little, and finally made a call to my best friend (if there is one thing I am grateful for, it's my friend) and told him everything I felt. He reiterated what people here said - go get help and get it soon.
So, earlier today I decided to get an appointment with my family practicioner. I decided he could refer me to one dealing with mental health.
This has been a difficult process and I believe it will continue to be so. As some said, with depression things don't necessarily just get better soon. In fact, it was getting worse and worse. One of the most difficult things has been overcoming a stigma regarding mental health. Even for someone that views everything rationally I still kept thinking at the back of the mind, that "only crazy people go see shrinks".
In time I may repost my original thread, because I saved it on my HD. This community has been invaluable, because it encompasses the tolerance and understanding that few other places do. I hope to give updates every so often to show people that they too can overcome problems they may face.
Thank you for your time and understanding.
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