When people say 'It's hotter than hell'

[Oeditpus Rex]

are they just guessing or are there statistics to support this? :shrug:

[Reverend_Smitty]

1. I prefer the more classy saying...

"it's hotter than balls out" at least we can prove that statement:P

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

2. Yes, there is a testable hypothesis there. I'm kinda partial to "colder

than a witch's teat".

Um, that's pretty damn cold, um... I guess.... :shrug:

[SteppingRazor]

6. Or how about "colder than a well digger's ass in January"?

That one's pretty good.

Or maybe, for heat, you could say it's so hot that I'm "sweatin' like a whore in church"? :shrug:

[Reverend_Smitty]

10. Whore in church...

that's another one of my favs. Never heard the well digger's ass saying but I like it, I might have to use it sometime

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

12. Tom Waits had this as a lyric in "Diamonds on My Windshield" from

"Heart of Saturday Night" album (this song was done as spoken word with bass and drum in background):

Well these diamonds on my windshield
And these tears from heaven
Well I'm pulling into town on the Interstate
I got a steel train in the rain
And the wind bites my cheek through the wing
And it's these late nights and this freeway flying
It always makes me sing


There's a Duster tryin' to change my tune
He's pulling up fast on the right
Rolling restlessly by a twenty-four hour moon


And a Wisconsin hiker with a cue-ball head
He's wishing he was home in a Wiscosin bed
But there's fifteen feet of snow in the East
Colder then a welldigger's ass
And it's colder than a welldigger's ass


Oceanside it ends the ride with San Clemente coming up
Those Sunday desperadoes slip by and cruise with a dry back
And the orange drive-in the neon billin'
And the theatre's fillin' to the brim
With slave girls and a hot spurn bucket full of sin


Metropolitan area with interchange and connections
Fly-by-nights from Riverside
And out of state plates running a little late


But the sailors jockey for the fast lane
So 101 don't miss it
There's rolling hills and concrete fields
And the broken line's on your mind


The eights go east and the fives go north
And the merging nexus back and forth
You see your sign, cross the line, signalling with a blink


And the radio's gone off the air
Gives you time to think
And you hear the rumble
As you fumble for a cigarette
And blazing through this midnight jungle
Remember someone that you met
And one more block; the engine talks
Whispers 'home at last'
It whispers 'home at last'
Whispers 'home at last'
It whispers 'home at last'
Whispers 'home at last'


And there are diamonds on my windshield
And these tears from heaven
Well I'm pulling into town on the Interstate
I got me a steel train in the rain
And the wind bites my cheek through the wing
Late nights and freeway flying
Always makes me sing
It always makes me sing

[RedStateShame]

3. Neither

They're showing you a KISS album.

[Call Me Wesley]

4. Would make me

very suspicious of these people ...

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. I'd be less suspicious of them

than of those who say "This tastes like shit!"

[Call Me Wesley]

13. Ewww.

Let us just agree on the fact that 'delusional generalizations don't sound good.' Unless you can back it up and prove it. Otherwise, it's just an empty phrase showing the lack of your own imagination. Think of something else. Be creative. Make a new one. 'Cause I can't think of one right now. (Or, most likely, I could, but I can't say!)

[Oeditpus Rex]

14. Well, there's always 'It's hotter than shit!'

Or "This tastes like hell!"

[Call Me Wesley]

16. Why not just be polite and true and say something like:

"This tastes like something your mom once cooked. I couldn't eat it then, I won't eat it now. And, besides, have I mentioned that it's 96F outside?" :shrug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. Mer'kins? Polite?

Oh, my dear boy.

(Where's the "pat on the head" smilie?)

[Jed Dilligan]

5. I dunno but once when it was really

cold I put my brass monkey outside and its balls actually did freeze off.

[Mutley]

7. Hello.

:hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. Hello

:hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. When my husband was a little boy.....

His parents used to say "hotter than the hinges on the oven door."

And when he went to check it out, he discovered that they were!

:shrug:

[Deep13]

15. Hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

[KitchenWitch]

17. Better question: Is hell exothermic or endothermic?

[genie_weenie]

22. Well, with the billions of souls of non-believers entering

but I assume you're referencing that Final Exam Joke...

[texas1928]

18. It is so hot the birds have to use potholders to get the worms...

out of the ground.


Hotter than a backseat on a Saturday night.

So hot we were getting baked potatoes as we dug them up.

So hot we had to feed the chickens ice to keep from getting hardboiled eggs.

So hot the cows were giving evaporated milk.

[grasswire]

23. Hee Haw!!

It made me think of the cornfield scene.

[genie_weenie]

20. The Temperature of Hell must be less than 444.6°C.

The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed.
But by Revelations 21:8: But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.

A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point, it would be a vapor, not a lake.)

[Oeditpus Rex]

21. Whew!

I hope *'s got a fire suit.




On second thought, I hope he doesn't.