Answer the following like Ann Coulter

[meegbear]

Dear Annie: I've been married to a wonderful man for 13 years. I feel that I "settled" for this man due to the fact that my true love and I went our separate ways when we were young because we were both stubborn.

My first love and I have been talking for the last five years, and made a promise that one day, when we're old and gray and no longer have our significant others, we would marry and take care of each other. I feel a bond with this man that I have never felt with anyone else, including the man I am married to.

We are at the point now where we don't want to wait for our significant others to "go away." We feel that we are soul mates who were stupid kids and now belong together. Any suggestions? -- Made A Mistake

[terrya]

1. Dear Made a Mistake:

It's obvious from your letter that you're a filthy, disgusting, godless, treasonous liberal. You're a worthless piece of filth and you should be shot.

[regularguy]

2. What's this "love" thing you speak of?

Some sort of commie plot?

[philosophie_en_rose]

3. As a never-married, mean-spirited jackass... my expert love advice is

to sublimate your own needs, stop voting, and think what your husband thinks.

It's bound to make you as happy as I am.

[huskerlaw]

4. Why do you hate America

you godless immoral liberal traitor!

[ikri]

5. Dear Made a Mistake

What the hell are you doing writing a letter when you should be in the kitchen cooking your husband's dinner you godless commie lesbian.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

6. Need more information: is your current husband a Dem or a Rep?

If it's a Democrat, you can kill it (yeah, it) in the most painful and slow possible way. Take care not to be caught, and remember God is on your side. I suggest rat poison in his créme broulée.

If he's a Republican, I already have your address and are going to frag you myself, personally. And I won't be caught because God is on my side.

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. Dear Made a Mistake:

Unlike me and voter registration issues, you've made your bed and now must LIEberal in it.

Better yet, move your bed to the New York Times building so that during the next attack by the PNAC godless terrorists, you'll be among the filthy LIEberals to die.

Hatefully in Christ,
Ann

[BlueIris]

8. Have you tried wearing more makeup?

Me and the pretty-girl posse think you should. That would probably solve all of your problems. That and settling into your role as a homemaker with no concerns of her own outside of baking, cleaning, and supporting your man. Face it, sista-friend, if you hadn't been brainwashed by some pagan feminist whores at some point, you wouldn't have started coming up with your own opinions about what you wanted for you life, which obviously just confused you, as feminism and "independence" will do to an otherwise happy lady, and you wouldn't be in the fine mess. Back to your kitchen, lolly gag! Get over yourself and get back to stoking the flames.

[mitchum]

9. Dear Made A Mistake: I'm really tweaking and my balls itch...

Yours,
Ann

[begin_within]

10. Dear Made a Mistake:

[Deja Q]

12. OMFG - ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray:

[Deja Q]

11. Dear MAM,

You friggin treasonous godless liberal you! Wah wah blah blah wah blah wah. Wah blah blah wah godless blah blah wah blah blah. Blah blah blah wah wah blah wah wah wah blah blah wah traitor!!!

[Generic Brad]

13. I would answer like Ann, except I might get tomb stoned for doing so

I fear the hoof.

[meegbear]

14. LOL!

[SofaKingLiberal]

15. Unless you want to go to hell and spend eternity with all the liberals,

you better take my advice. The only way you will get to heaven is to stay with your husband and buy 10,000 copies of my latest book.