Hertz Donut

[swag]

So there's this man, and he lived his whole life on Earth, and his name was Mr. Stevenson. When Mr. Stevenson was eight years old, he asked another little boy if he would like a Hertz Donut. The other boy said yes. So he hit him on the arm and he said, "Hertz Donut." Five years later, Mr. Stevenson asked another boy about his same age at that time if he would like a Hertz Donut. when the boy said yes, Mr. Stevenson stabbed him over and over again in his eye and his cheek with a pencil, saying "Hertz Donut."

Over the years, Mr. Stevenson did very well in school. On graduation day, he was sat next to another young man, who, like Mr. Stevenson, had earned high marks. When he asked the boy if he would like a Hertz Donut, the boy said, "Not if you're gonna stab me in the eye with a pencil." "I wouldn't even touch you," said Mr. Stevenson. So when the boy agreed, he presented him with a photograph of the young man's fiancée at a bachelor party, on some guy's table, fucking herself with a beer bottle. As tears filled the young man's eyes, Mr. Stevenson was heard to say, "Hertz Donut."

A few years later, Mr. Stevenson got a job as a sales clerk in an electronics store. Within a year, he was caught stealing and immediately incarcerated. When he asked his cellmate if he would like a Hertz Donut, his cellmate said yeah. So... he gave him a Hertz Donut.

Over the years, Mr. Stevenson grew too old to take care of himself, so they put him in a hospital. One day, he asked the new nurse if she would like a Hertz Donut. In anticipation of her response, Mr. Stevenson began humming and making smacking noises with his mouth. When the nurse smiled and said, "I know about you, Mr. Stevenson," Mr. Stevenson blurted out something totally incoherent and... and began to laugh.

[ghostsofgiants]

1. Haha, that was great.

[swag]

4. Have you seen "The American Astronaut"?

You must have.

[ghostsofgiants]

7. I have not.

I think it has been recomended to me before though. I'll have to seek it out.

[swag]

8. Sorry to be a broken record.

I think you would enjoy that film

http://www.americanastronaut.com/home.shtml

[ghostsofgiants]

9. Cool, I'll definitely try to find it.

[ContraBass Black]

19. So, now you're going to explain it to me, right?

[ghostsofgiants]

22. I don't understand it, I just thought it was hilarious.

[bridgit]

2. here's to Mr. Stevenson...:

:toast:

[swag]

5. And Here's to Ben

[bridgit]

15. poor ben, oh...

and thanks for the clue

[GirlinContempt]

3. Oh Tom

*sigh*

[swag]

6. Tom Aldredge is darned dreamy.

He only gets better.

[GirlinContempt]

10. There are few dreamier

but they do exist.

[swag]

11. Wheels, for one.

[GirlinContempt]

12. I was always a Snake lady

[swag]

13. I see you know the difference between big wood and brush.

[GirlinContempt]

16. There was doubt?

[swag]

17. I'm with Wittgenstein on certainty.

[GirlinContempt]

18. Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen?

[swag]

20. I think Call Me Wesley is the resident expert on the Tractatus.

I stick with the easier stuff.

But I'm flattered that you thought I was up to the TLP.

[GirlinContempt]

21. Well, I know there's SOMETHING

behind that pretty face. It'll just take some further excavation :D ;)

[swag]

23. When you blast through the skull with your jackhammer

you will thrill to the sound of whistling wind.

[swag]

14. A glance at his guileless mug tells you he's ripe for being booger-played