Post Office Evacuated After Vibrator "Goes Off"

[matcom]

now THAT is a subject line i have been WAITING to post :D

<snip>

LILBURN, Ga. — A post office and surrounding area were evacuated after a mail carrier came across a suspicious, vibrating package. X-rays soon revealed the box to be X-rated.

U.S. Postal Service spokesman Michael Miles said the package aroused suspicion from a carrier and his supervisor, who took the priority-listed mail into the parking lot and called police.

The Gwinnett County bomb squad, U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and the Gwinnett County Fire Department evacuated the building and the parking lot Wednesday and shut down a nearby street.

A high-tech robot was sent in to pick up the package and X-ray it. The X-ray showed wires and objects, Miles said. When it was opened, authorities found adult toys, including a vibrator and massage oil.

http://www.boston.com/news/daily/31/odds_vibrate.htm

[GOPisEvil]

1. People, people, people....

...take the batteries OUT of your sex toys before you mail them!! :D

[commander bunnypants]

2. Bawhahahahahah

Bawhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Just to funny


DEMMAN

[supernova]

3. Adam&Eve is over in Chapel Hill

I'll have to tell them not to do that in the future. ;-)

[THUNDER HANDS]

4. heeeheeeheee

"the package aroused suspicion."

love that line!

[cherryperry]

5. I feel really badly about this

because I'm just certain this was my package! How dare they open it? Can I help it if those goofs sent it in a ready-to-go state?

[plcdude]

12. welcome to DU

and hope that you eventually get your package from them in the meantime just let me know if you need any help I would be happy to oblige.

[displacedtexan]

6. i collect stupid headlines.

thanks!

[Rainbowreflect]

7. Here's one for your stupid headlines collection.

There is a city here in NE called Colon. One day the Lincoln paper had a story about problem that city had the day before. The headline was "Gas Leak in Colon". That was one of my favs.

[commander bunnypants]

9. I had sex once in Intercourse Pa. once

The name of the town got me all hot and bothered


DEMMAN

[pansypoo53219]

8. wow

the batteries were INCLUDED.

[Loonman]

10. Ha ha

Narrator: Was it ticking?

Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.

Narrator: Sorry, throwers?

Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.

Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?

Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...

Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article "a dildo", never "your dildo".

Narrator: I don't own...

[boilerbabe]

11. Usually batteries are not included, those lucky sods! N/T

[plcdude]

13. and you

know this because.....