Laugh your ass off for hours on end.

[Jamastiene]

The Walter Miller Home Page. It's an oldie but a goodie. I was looking for stuff tonight and happened on the new location for it. I remember reading this stuff back in the 90's and laughing my ass off for hours at the time. The next day, I'd read some more and continue to laugh. I really enjoyed reading about grandpa and his collection of antique junk and some of his sayings and some of the things he did.


Here is an excerpt from the "about" page that will give you some idea of what the page is all about.

"Our home consists of a trailor, some outbuildings, a toolshed, asorted shacks, and 2 halfs of a moduler home that were never put together and sit 50 yards apart with plastic sheets drapped over the open parts. We live in the trailor-the other buildings house the varied colections of My granfather. He has 170,000 hupcaps which maybe the bigest colection in Texas. He also colects apliances, spark plugs, books, plumming fixures, beercans, Indian blankets, cooky tins, furnoture, glasware, old typwriters, bottles and car parts, plastic bags, coffe cans, antiques, trashcan lids of pre-World War 2 era, manhole covers, rusty tools, stufed animals, basebal cards, 55 galon drums and steyrofoam. These are just a small sample of his colectibles

Theyre stroon across the whole area like a junkyard. The county has come after him many times. He also has 14 dogs and dog crap is eveywhere. Also the stuffed animals and indian blankets are outside-when it rains they get rancid.

An average day of my pitifull Life
I get up in early morning to do my work. I do data entry from home for $6 a hour and transmit it to a companey a few hours away from where I live. What happens next is in no particular order. I feed the dogs. We have 14 of them and they get only vegetebles because granfather thinks it makes them lean & mean to attack anyone who will steal his colections. What it does do is make them skinny with patchy bald spots and crap a lot. Tomatos are a real problem. I shovel it all in big piles.

Then I wash the tobacco juice off the walls. ...
<snip>

:rofl:

Here is a link:
http://www.waltermillerhomepage.com/

[many a good man]

1. Ancient Persian wedgie joke

An anceint Persian wedgie joke c.350 BC goes something like
this: A man comes back from the marketplace with 2 black eyes.
His wife asks what hapenned. He says "It was crowded and
a fat lady on line infront of me had part of her robe in her
buttcrack. To be polite I tryed to pluck it out. Then she hit
me." The wife asks how did he get the 2nd blackeye. The
man says "Since she was upset I then tryed to put it back
the way she had it." This joke was doccumented authentic
over the years by such lumminaries as Bosworth and Samual
Peeyps. Clearly the noble wedgie is part of our history and
hummanity.

[Jamastiene]

2. That's a good one.

He's got years worth of stories about his grandpa who is a real mean ol' guy.

:rofl:

[Jamastiene]

3. Oh, mercy. ROFLMAO.

:rofl:

That was one mean SOB.

http://www.waltermillerhomepage.com/U02.HTM

[Jamastiene]

4. One last kick before I give up on it.

It's funny.

[Suich]

5. Funny stuff!

Thanks! I've got it bookmarked...I hope he writes more!

:hi:

[Jamastiene]

7. It's hilarious, isn't it?

If you go back to the beginning and read forward, you get the full impact how how horrendous the grandfather is in so many way, but it's funny all the way through.

:hi:

[Kali]

6. omg

my stomach hurts :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Jamastiene]

8. Wait until you read how grandpa wants to be posed.

He can't move, so he wants his crypto-zoologists to pose him like the infamous Clinton pose from Monica's eye level. He wants to do it just to piss off his Republican brothers. It's hilarious.

:rofl:

http://www.waltermillerhomepage.com/i120.htm

[Jamastiene]

9. The Dellicate Art of the Hover

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

http://www.waltermillerhomepage.com/i126.htm

[Jamastiene]

10. Kicking one last time for the night crowd.

That old man is something else. Poor Walter.

[Jamastiene]

11. One last kick before I let it bury itself. n/t

[wildhorses]

12. bookmarking to read later...funny stuff in your intro,,,but I am

going to bed now. thanks for posting:hi:


nitey nite:hug:

[Jamastiene]

13. That last update is hilarious.

Grandpa insists on being positioned like Clinton from a Monica Lewinsky eye view just to piss off his brothers. And he makes them go buy him a powder blue tie so he can look even more like Clinton. :rofl: