OK, so she picked out the engagement ring. I paid for it...

[maveric]

She will pick it up after sizing, this afternoon...
But she still wants me to do the down on one knee proposal shtick before she puts the ring on.

What do you think of this?
Should I comply?

[RetroLounge]

1. Comply? No.

You should WANT to get down on one knee...

or on two. Or prone.

RL

[maveric]

8. Well I did, but through innuendo, she brought up getting married.

Kind of spoiled it for me.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. dont get married because it was brought up through innuendo

its something you should want to do

[maveric]

11. I was planning on asking for her hand, but she beat me to it.

I was and had allready put $$$$ aside for the ring.

[MissMillie]

36. Then I say there's no harm in complying

right?

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

26. Who's this "Innuendo"?

I hate it when my wife goes gaga over some latin-lover type.

:rofl:

Question: If not for "Don Innuendo", were you going to propose?

[LanternWaste]

34. True love comes knocking at the door. Fake loves comes flying innuendo.

True love comes knocking at the door. Fake loves comes flying innuendo.

-Groucho Marx-

[azmouse]

2. Of course! It's what makes memories!

I'm speaking from almost 20 yrs of marriage experience.

Do it. Propose on bended knee. 20 yrs from now you'll both have fond memories of it!

[tk2kewl]

3. If it makes her happy...

That's part of the plan isn't it?

[Jimbo S]

4. Think outside the box.

C'mon, we're all DU'ers here.

Think of something creative.

It was going to be a cold day in heck if I was to get on one knee.

[Shine]

5. It's not about "complying", it's about honoring your woman with what she wants

If she wants the romance of a bended knee proposal, why not give it to her? Believe me, I'm sure it will be worth it, in the end. :D

Many blessings of Happiness and Love to you both! :hi:

[maveric]

9. I know, that was a bad choice of word.

I really wanted to surprise her. You know, the old fashion way. But she pretty much proposed to me. in a round about way.
It takes away from the surprise.
But she has never been married before and wants the whole package.

[Shine]

17. Well, I think it's sweet that she's so into it.

I knew a couple once who did something similar: They picked out the ring ahead of time together and, because her birthday was coming up and she wanted to be proposed to on her actual birthday, that's exactly what happened.

Like you said, it kinda takes away from the surprise, but it's what made them (and HER) happy, so who the hell cares? LOL. It worked for them.

Me? I told my man in no uncertain terms that I wanted to be proposed to when I wasn't expecting it...so that's what he did and I was definitely happy. It was the most romantic moment of my life.

Have fun making special memories, maveric, and congrats, once again. :hug:

[Fuzz]

27. The whole package? Put your 'package' in a box.

ala SNL.

;)

[unsavedtrash]

42. lol

too funny. One of their few good skits.
:rofl:

[WCGreen]

6. Fuck that....

Go to a football game and have it broadcast on the Jumbo Tron...

That's sweet.....

[evlbstrd]

7. True story.

A guy proposed to his girlfriend on the jumbotron at a baseball game in my town. She turned him down on the jumbotron. And the Royals lost.

[WCGreen]

14. At Royal Stadium....

No wonder....

[evlbstrd]

32. Quite possibly the problem.

He sould have proposed in a BBQ joint.

[grace0418]

12. Do some other kind of surprise.

Think of some way to make it special. Our engagement was no surprise to anyone (we'd dated 9 years before getting married). We already had an appointment with the priest to book the church when my husband finally "proposed". We couldn't afford rings at the time and I didn't want an engagement ring anyway. We were at a friend's wedding and the reception was overlooking a duck pond, so he took me outside to a little wooden bridge crossing the pond, put a twist tie on my finger and sung one of my favorite old Fred Astaire songs to me. He never sings, so that was special. And very sweet. I still have the twist tie 10 years later.

[Connonym]

33. That is fabulously romantic

It makes my heart feel warm and fuzzy, seriously. What a sweet memory.

[grace0418]

52. Thanks. Yeah, he drives me crazy sometimes but I think I'll keep him.

I drive him just as crazy! :)

[tigereye]

13. yeah, if she likes that, do it

it's sweet.

[edbermac]

15. You'd better or you'll never hear the end of it.

x(

[crim son]

16. I think I understand why you are a bit reticent

but seriously, if you balk at this small gesture then perhaps marriage right now isn't the best idea. You're both going to have to compromise like crazy for the rest of your lives. And if you are meant to be, you will do it with all your heart.

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. Only if you want to.

In my case, he picked out the ring, he paid for it and gave it to me at 4:30 in the morning when he got up for work. No knee bended, no proposal even... it was more of a "pact"... (he gets nervous) and it's still one of the more memorable, beautiful moments in my life. I would have hated to choreograph it. :hi:

[bluethruandthru]

19. Wow, this sounds familiar!

This is exactly what happened with my husband and me. I picked it out, had it sized and when it was finished I brought it to him. He said "Well, aren't you going to wear it?". I asked him if he would please propose to me since he never really had. He made a joke out of it..and it's always kind of bothered me.

Make it special because you want to...and it will mean alot!

[nini]

20. What do YOU want to do?

Seems a bit anti-climatic if she picked it out already etc..


If she insists then tell her you will decide when and where - at least she won't know when you will do that.

[HEyHEY]

21. No, start a huge fight over it

[kwassa]

30. you made me cry ....

I was laughing so hard.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Blue-Jay]

22. I have a better idea!

Tie the ring to your wiener with some fishing line. Then, when she leasts expects it, whip it out and pretend like you're reeling her in.

[HEyHEY]

23. That's how I got arrested at the mall

[Blue-Jay]

29. Yeah, but you were using jolly ranchers instead of a ring.

And watermelon flavored ones at that. Who eats that shit? x(

[necso]

24. Yes, and do so earnestly. /nt

[amitten]

25. Okay, here goes:

99% of single women I know (I'm of the remaining 1%) have bought into the whole storybook proposal/marriage thing hook, line, and sinker. It has been hammered into our brains since birth that the proposal is supposed to be THE romantic moment in our lives, regardless of any other circumstance. Resisting this brainwashing is well-nigh impossible for even the most intelligent free-thinker. She can't help that she wants it to be magical.

Yes, she brought up marriage first, but if you really love her and aren't just a petty bastard, you'll give her this little once-in-a-lifetime moment out of the kindness of your heart. You may think she's the one being petty, but she's not. Unbeknownst to you, she knows hordes of other females that will barrage her with detailed questions about how the proposal went. They will want to know location, if it was on one knee, how it was phrased, did either of you cry, what did it feel like, etc. etc. That's the ritual and it's the same EVERYWHERE and with EVERYONE. She doesn't want to have to say, "Well, I brought it up first, so there was no proposal." x( Get it?

Why don't you "surprise" her by proposing as you may have originally planned? Sneak the ring away from her, take her to wherever you originally would have liked to, and do your romantic thang. Years later, you'll both be glad you did.

[Missy Vixen]

45. amitten, thanks for the explanation

I'm sure I'll be flamed for this, but I was one of those 99% that wanted a nice memory to look back on. I don't have it. It would have taken a little forethought and two minutes of his time, but he didn't think he needed to do so, and it still bothers me every time I hear someone else's story.

>so there was no proposal<

This is the woman who will spend the rest of her life putting him first, bearing and raising their children if they're having any, etcetera. When things get tough, she will remember that she had to ask him. She will remember that he didn't take the time to think of a place that was meaningful to them as a couple and the few minutes involved in getting down on one knee to ask her to marry him. All women want to believe that they are special, that the guy they love loves them above anyone else and would make an extra effort for something he maybe thought was unimportant, but was important to her. These are the kind of things that make that 99% of women you referred to decide that maybe the grass is greener elsewhere.

IMHO, YMMV.
Julie

[amitten]

51. Sorry to hear that.

Every woman going into marriage deserves a nice proposal, I think. It doesn't have to be sheer romantic perfection, but it's the thought that counts.

Hope that you find other romantic surprises in your life, in spite of that missed proposal. Everyone, male and female, wants to feel special to the one they love. :hug:

[kwassa]

28. Comply, if you value your life. Or your life together.

I didn't, or didn't in a satisfactory manner because I'M JUST NOT ROMANTIC ENOUGH!!!!!!

and that still crops up, many years later, though we are very happy together.

If she wants it, do it! It is important to her.

[liontamer]

48. it's not too late

why not surprise her with a super sappy proposal now?

[Little Wing]

31. It'll take but 15 seconds

Just do it. Next to the life of suffering you're committing yourself to, it'll be just a comma

:evilgrin:

[jobycom]

35. Ah, the old mutual manipulation game....

Always hated that. It isn't about proposing on your knees, it's about seeing if you will obey her and change to fit her ideal of romance.

Your choice. Personally, if I'd come this far, I'd just do it and make my stand somewhere else, in a hopefully less critical situation. Maybe your doing it will answer whatever question she has about you, and she won't have to prove it again. Even if not, some battles aren't worth winning. It will just be an amusing story in a few years, anyway--no point in risking future moments of happiness over it.

Just my thoughts. And you'd be an idiot to take anyone's advice but your own on this matter! :rofl:

[KatyaR]

49. If you're going into a marriage thinking you're being manipulated,

you need to stop and think really hard RIGHT NOW about what you really want.

I've never been married, so obviously I don't know crap about this, but my advice is 1) don't do what you don't want to do, and 2) you should seriously think about why this bothers you.

I don't think it's an outrageous request to want to do something nice for the person one supposedly desires to spend the rest of his life with. But if you go into it halfheartedly, the memory will only be a disappointing one, and who wants that?

Finding the "one" is a one-in-a-million chance, as far as I'm concerned, and it should be regarded as something special and precious and not as just an agreement or an arrangement.

Just the two cents of an old maid . . . .

[twilight_sailing]

37. Absolutely

These things matter to women. You don't have to know why exactly but DO IT.

[twilight_sailing]

38. amitten in post 25

does a good job of explaining things.

[zanne]

39. My husband gave me a hideous ring.

It wasn't an engagement ring; we couldn't affort that. About ten years ago, he bought me a truly hideous garnet ring for Christmas. I never take it off my finger, because he went to the trouble of shopping for a ring he thought I'd like. The look on his face when he handed me the box was priceless. I wouldn't trade this ring for anything I shopped for and selected myself. What ever happened to romance? Does your girlfriend love you or the ring? She decided to select it herself--why not just let her finish up and propose to you?

[twilight_sailing]

40. Personally, I like garnets

but, heck, maybe it's because I am a guy.

Thanks for your story. We guys, well, we love you girls. We make mistakes all over the place and somehow you girls still love us. And we love you for that.

[TimeChaser]

44. I'd love if I got a garnet engagement ring

Much better than any boring old diamond


But then, I'm weird

[malta blue]

41. My husband and I went together to pick out the ring

before he actually proposed. He then got a beautful beachfront hotel room and filled it with roses. He blindfolded me and drove me on a California freeway to this room, got down on one knee, reciting a poem in french.

It was all a surprise...really- and oh so romantic...

The moment isn't dead just because you picked out the ring together.

[mondo joe]

43. You should comply if you want to. If it's important to one of you to do,

but important to the other not to do, you've got a problem.

[trof]

46. I did.

I'm a traditionalist and a sentimentalist.

[skygazer]

47. Absolutely

And if it really disappoints you that you didn't get to surprise her with a proposal, do it somewhere down the line. Plan something out, a little getaway or something, plop down on one knee (or if your knees are anything like mine, creak carefully down, hoping you'll be able to get back up) and ask her if she'd still marry you.

Romance is all what you make it and so often in our busy lives, we don't have the time or the schedules to be as spontaneous as we'd like. That's okay - it can still be touching and wonderful without that. It's the love that counts.

(My boyfriend proposes to me about 3 or 4 times a year, sometimes on one knee, sometimes not. I shoot him down every time - he knows I have no use for marriage - but one of these days I'm going to say yes and watch all the color drain out of his face. :rofl: )

[LibraLiz1973]

50. To you, it's schtick... but it should be a chance to create a memory for BOTH of you

The use of the word comply is weird too.

It totally sounds as if you are reticent to do it- in which case, get your money back and move on.
More importantly, let her move on to someone who feels romantic about her.

I'm not trying to be mean at all, you just seem SO not into this.

[LynneSin]

53. Are you planning to make this a lifetime committment or a Brittney Spears quickie?

Trust me, if you don't want to be ragged for the next umpteen years just get on your knees and do it. In the long run you'll save yourself a ton of aggrevation