If you could choose the only 5 movies that Shrubbie McCokewanker gets in prison

[Rabrrrrrr]

What would you choose?

Would you give him human-based movies, or give him the worst shlock you can imagine?

I have a feeling that the worst schlock - like Top Gun, Titanic, ET, Gone with the Wind, etc. - he'd actually enjoy the hell out of, so I'm gonna be wary of giving him shitty movies and just send him human-based movies that would cause him emotional and spiritual pain as he wastes away in the new International Prison for Despotic American War Criminals, perviously known as Gitmo.

I'm thinking:

Norma Rae

Fahrenheit 9-11

Gandhi (yeah, it's partly shmarmy, but still, it's about Gandhi, non-violence, and leadership by example)

A Beautiful Thing

Top Gun (I know, I said I wouldn't use it, but in this version matcom, DS1, ZombyWoof, GOPisEvil, Primate1 and I will have rewritten the script and overdubbed the dialogue)

[struggle4progress]

1. How about five copies of "Surf Nazis Must Die"?

... With little more than table scraps for a budget, "Surf Nazis Must Die" features rotten acting, cheesy action and effects, a grainy picture and poor sound ... http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/dvd/review/2000/10/31/surf_nazis/index.html

[crim son]

2. Give the guy a break! He's going to need real entertainment.

How about a DVD of the first season of "Barney"?

[QMPMom]

38. I was going to suggest Barney videos, too. That way he can

learn to play fair, share, be nice... all that stuff he obviously didn't learn from Babs and George the First.

[crim son]

45. We moms, we know

what's good for little boys who don't know their head from their ass. :hi:

[Danger Mouse]

3. The most soul-crushing move known to man...

...'Manos: the Hands of Fate' without the MST3K commentary. Technically, that's torture...but oh well.
If he gets tired of Manos (but who would?) I would also send him
'Ma Vie En Rose' (a french film about a boy exploring his gender identity...it's a beautiful film, but I imagine it must be torture for a wingnut conservative like Bush)
'Freddy Got Fingered' the most unfunny movie of all time
'Pink Floyd: The Wall' anti-war, bizarre, and sure to make bush wish for the sweet embrace of death...besides, i'm sure he hates the beautiful music of pink floyd...
and finally...last but not least...
'Brokeback Mountain' because forcing a homophobe to watch a movie about gay cowboys is funny.

[AllegroRondo]

11. My first thougth too

"Manos" is so bad, its evil.

[Danger Mouse]

27. It's the movie that literally killed people...

three of its cast members (at least) committed suicide soon after its debut...

[blonndee]

4. F 9/11, Syriana, An Inconvenient Truth,

Good Night and Good Luck, and the documentary Waco: The Rules of Engagement (even though the latter doesn't practically apply to him, it certainly does in other ways).

[KamaAina]

17. Could we substitute "When The Levees Broke" for maybe that last one?

I did not think it was possible for me to hate that mofo any more than I already did. And then it happened...

[XemaSab]

5. That one really shitty movie with Arnold in it.

You know, THAT one. :P

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. The one with the car chase? Or the one with his bare arm muscles showing?

[LSK]

7. the one with guns

:D

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. Oh, gotcha!! Is that the one he rescued the lady?

[LSK]

9. yeah and it had bad guys

:popcorn:

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. Yeah, I like that one. It's the one he says "I'll be back".

Fucking classic!

[LSK]

21. dude!!! remember the car chase?

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. I was totally shocked - I'd never seen a car chase before,

and was totally not expecting something of such hig excitement!

It's too bad they never caught on.

[trof]

10. Are there 5 Adam Sandler movies?

That would be my choice.

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. I'm sure Fuckstick would find them funnier than hell, though.

So it wouldn't be much of a punishment.

[Burma Jones]

12. Any five Andy Warhol Movies

What's left of his brain would just explode

[China_cat]

13. Howard the Duck

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
Highlander II
Ishtar
Ishtar


Better yet, let him have only 1...Ishtar.

[Gormy Cuss]

18. Oh my. We are thinking alike.

I was tempted to offer only one film too, and yes it was THAT one.

[Gormy Cuss]

14. First off, I'd make sure he had a copy of Ishtar.

Fahrenheit 9-11 and Farenheit 451 (the 1966 F-451 that is. The former for obvious reasons, the latter because maybe he'd learn about the value of books.)
Nosferatu (it'd keep him from missing his good buddy Cheney)
The last would be a war film, probably The Best Years of Our Lives or perhaps Gallipoli.

[FedUpWithIt All]

15. The New World

on a continuous loop. He'll be drooling in no time.

Oh and Enemy Mine.

[mtnester]

16. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

because it was such a horrible awful movie.

Just that one...imagine W thinking it was going to be a great funny movie cause Bill Murray is in it...

and then it is a stinker.

Just that one movie.

On edit - forgot about another stinker movie: K-PAX

That one too.

[Pacifist Patriot]

23. Oh that is soooo easy!

Höstsonaten

La Strada

Eréndira

Siesta

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover

BWAAAAAHAAAAA!!!! I am so evil.

[xchrom]

24. they'd be all scandavian -- and all of them

surreal.

[Frank Cannon]

33. You beat me to it

Maybe five unsubtitled, undubbed Ingmar Bergman films.

[xchrom]

50. that would be precious.

[jmowreader]

25. My five

I was first thinking, "let's just show him execution after execution after execution."

But like the "educational video" Principal Victoria showed Cartman when he was caught in school dressed as Adolf Hitler, he might like those.

So here's what I'd give him:

The South Park episode "Terrance and Philip: Not Without My Anus." Bush likes farting, and this is full of that.

"I Spit On Your Grave." Most guys can't watch this movie. Bush would like it.

"Red Dawn." He'd be all hoo-ah, hoo-ah for about one viewing, and then, hopefully, he'd realize just how applicable it is to what he did in Iraq.

[Cannikin]

26. Showgirls

[LibDemAlways]

28. I'd make the fucker sit through

Plan Nine From Outer Space, Glen or Glenda, the original uncut Heaven's Gate, Robot Monster, and Gigli. And I'd make sure they ran on a continuous reel 24/7 at top volume with no breaks.

[idgiehkt]

29. Anything with Julia Roberts

Except Mystic Pizza, which was cool.

Definitely "Steel Magnolias", "My Best Friends Wedding", stuff like that.

[peekaloo]

43. I like the way you think.

since he's afraid of horses and all. :evilgrin:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

30. What? No Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?

Didja know that supposedly George Clooney was in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes???
:evilgrin:

This just proves that even former 50s superstar Rosemary Clooney's nephew had to start SOMEWHERE.

[begin_within]

49. To be more precise, George Clooney was in

"Return of the Killer Tomatoes" which was filmed in 1987 and released in 1988. This was the sequel to "Attack of the Killer Tomtaoes" and both movies were filmed primarily in San Diego. Several scenes in "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" were filmed in the neighborhood I live in (Kensington). One scene where a group of people, including Clooney, is running down a residential street chasing a tomato, was filmed on the street I live on (though they didn't run as far as my house). I watched the filming of those scenes and took several pictures including one during a break where they introduced the cast and the cast of 5 or 6 who were there posed for a group photo. I still have that photo and I often show it to people who are interested in George Clooney. He had long curly hair then, and I didn't really know who he was. I think the director said, "And from the Facts of Life, George Clooney!" and the crowd of onlookers applauded. I think he was the only cast member of "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" who went on to have any significant career in film or TV. John Astin was also in it, but he already had an established career at that time. The Olympic swimmer Steve Lundquist was trying to break into films and I talked with him for a few minutes, and he was a nice guy but he never had a career in film. Years later, I rented "Return" once and it did have some amusing moments and snappy dialogue in it. It't not as stupid and inane as you might think it would be from the title.

[GreenZoneLT]

31. What's Up Tiger Lily?

It's one of Woody's lamer efforts, and Bush wouldn't get the jokes. I'm sure he hates black-and-white movies, too.

"Glen or Glenda." It's Ed Wood, so thus virtually unwatchable, and it's pro-transvestite. He oughta just love that.

"In the Realm of the Senses" -- obscure Japanese intellectual porn flick where you get to see a dead guy's wang cut off after his lover accidentally(?) strangles him during erotic asphyxiation. Feeds his castration anxiety, and it's subtitled, so he has to read!

"See You in the Morning" -- Just because it really, really sucked. I almost walked out on a press screening, and I stood up Alice Krige for an interview, because I couldn't think of anything to ask her about it other than, "Why were you in such a bad movie?"

"On Golden Pond" -- It's about intergenerational family strife, and all the cast are liberal Hollywood royalty!

[PVnRT]

32. I go for the torture route

The five worst movies of all time:

Battlefield Earth
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
You Got Served
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

[LynneSin]

39. Wait, I love Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

That was an Oscar caliber movie - if you forced me to watch that 24x7 I know I wouldn't be upset

[Brewman_Jax]

46. It won 4 Oscars in 2000

Art Direction, Cinematography, Original Music Score, and Foreign Language Film.

[madinmaryland]

34. I'd make him watch every SpongeBob movie,

and every Barney video ever made!! An endless loop of "I love you, you love me,..."

[deadparrot]

35. "From Justin to Kelly." nt

[LaurenG]

36. I think the worst thing one could do would be to replay his lies

and then what really happened over and over again. Also, I believe he should be forced to watch religious films. Some real Christians doing what Christ spoke of and a few about the Islamic faith and then 100's of sound bites of what he did to this country from every general, ex sec. of state, etc.


I'd be real interested in seeing the "new" voiced over version of Top Gun though myself.:rofl:

[jane_pippin]

37. 4 out of 5 would be old foreign films...

I don't care which, really. Just as long as they're in black and white with subtitles. If they're old, terrible foreign films, so much the better.

The 5th would be a "Porky's" movie. That would make him think that maybe I wasn't really only going to show him old subtitled movies. It would keep his hopes up just so they could be dashed when the next movie comes on. Also, while I'm sure he'd probably like a Porky's movie, I assume that even Porky's enthusiasts must have some kind of viewing threshold, so sooner or later it would probably make him lose it.

So that's the evil-genius route I'd take.

[LynneSin]

40. "The Seventh Seal" and afterwards he'd have to play Chess with Death

That would be a pretty quick game

[Deep13]

41. The Ray Dennis Steckler collection

[Lautremont]

51. Actually, "Wild Guitar" is pretty good!

And I've always liked "Rat Pfink A Boo Boo."

[Deep13]

53. I was thinking of that nonstop action thriller...

...Blood Shack!

Wild Guitar? Starring Cabbage-patch Elvis Art Hall, Jr?

[Lautremont]

54. And, I believe, the great Atlas King.

So if we stick to Blood Shack, The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher, The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters, and maybe Body Fever, we'd have some primo material for ol' Georgie.

[Deep13]

56. Let's not forget that pioneering horror-musical...

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-up Zombies, which has the honor of having the longest title of any feature film even and not much else.

[hippywife]

42. Shmarmy?

:cry: :cry: :cry:

[izzybeans]

44. I would have Borat running on an infinite loop and projected on every wall of the cell.

[peekaloo]

47. 'Quills' for tips on finger painting.

'Requiem for a Dream' for comedy.
'Shakes the Clown' to reminisce about his younger days.
'Brokeback Mountain' so he can fantasize about the cow-bot(not a typo) he could have been.
'Girls Gone Wild: Special Twins Edition' ;-)

[Strawman]

48. Every season of Oz, the "Penitentary" series of movies

To scare the shit out of him.

[Lautremont]

52. Any five Vienna Actionist films from the page linked below:

http://www.ubu.com/film/vienna_actionists.html

His mind would be blown, utterly. He'd be a gibbering wreck within a week.

[ThatsMyBarack]

55. How about these?

To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything. Julie Newmar

Roller Boogie

An Inconvenient Truth

John Q

SuperSize Me

[w8liftinglady]

57. "1984" with John Hurt/Richard Burton

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087803/