What is the point of advertising how absorbent toilet paper is?

[LostInAnomie]

When I purchase toilet paper absorbency doesn't weigh on my decision. It's not like I'm using it for sopping stuff up.

:hurts:

[zingaro]

1. I hate those trying to be cute bear butt-wiping commercials.

They bother me.

[LostInAnomie]

2. They are a bit bizarre.

The mother bear hovering over the cub and regulating how it wipes it ass. Seems a little bit overBEARing to me! :rofl: (Sorry, about the pun.)

[zingaro]

5. lol Exactly!

[BurtWorm]

7. I'm sure they're meant to conjure up the question "Do bears shit in the woods?"

Or "If bears shit in the woods, what brand of toilet paper do they use?"

[dropkickpa]

19. If you have a 6 year old

you will understand the need to regulate, or at least encourage responsible, TP usage. Mine is just now learning that half a roll is not needed to wipe her tiny ass every time she takes a leak (let's not even talk about the giant TP wads she wants to use for poo).

[youthere]

26. Well if you'd stop feeding that child sauerkraut and pickled eggs....

I'm just sayin'.
:hurts:

[Deja Q]

29. One has to wonder what Mr. Whipple(tm) did to get the bears to do that then grin...

:yoiks:

[Floogeldy]

3. You might try eating Shredded Wheat, Jalapeno peppers, and spoiled milk.

Perhaps then you will understand the meaning of absorbent TP. ;)

[mentalsolstice]

4. And being married to a Cajun! eom

[Blue-Jay]

6. You should eat spicier food.

Then you'll know how important "sopping" is.
























POOP THREAD!
:yoiks:

[mykpart]

8. There used to be an ad which said their brand leaves less lint.

I guess that was a roundabout way of saying you would have fewer dingleberries!

[Arugula Latte]

27. Now there's an ad campaign.

"Charmin. Now with fewer dingleberries!"

[XemaSab]

9. You must not be a girl

:P

[dEMOK]

12. Obviously, the OP is not a girl...

I prefer Charmin Plus (with "soothing lotion").

My girlfriend doesn't like the "embedded" lotion, for obvious reasons; so I keep a roll of the generic stuff on hand, just for her (...makes for a great Valentine present).

[Burma Jones]

22. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding......

we have the correct response

[Kutjara]

10. If you've used the kind of wax-paper...

...tissue they provide on trains in the UK, you'll be grateful for absorbency. That stuff doesn't so much clean as redistribute. Very nasty.

[dEMOK]

14. Have you ever been on a German train...

...where you see the ground passing beneath you through the hole you're trying to eliminate through?

[Kutjara]

15. Oh yes. Very scary, and very cold in the winter. n/t

[AllegroRondo]

18. I always waited until we were on a bridge

then bombs away!

[leftofthedial]

11. uh

yeah you are

or you're not doing it right








drinking mexican water that is

[Hardrada]

13. How can we not keep this thread going?

Kick!

[krispos42]

16. Thank you!

I have always wondered that myself.

I want four things with my TP, in no particular order: thickness, strength, softness, and ability to have feces cling to it instead of my flabby white butt.

I mean, it's nice that it absorbes somewhat. That goes to the 'clinging feces' part of my four conditions. Otherwise, I could be using heavy-duty aluminum foil. But I'm not sopping up spilled milk or anything like that.

[Danger Mouse]

17. WET! Wet? Fuckin bear...

Cutesy toilet paper commercials crack me up. I guess they fail to point out that this is something that will be caressing my ass...ha!

[Deep13]

20. "shit-resistant" not allowed on TV

[Auggie]

21. Speaking as an ad guy, there are only a few selling strategies out there

for toilet paper. Softness is one. Value is another. Absorbency strikes me as one of those preemptive fringe strategies that only partially applies to the product category. Through a mindless barrage of media placement backed by millions of dollars they've made it an issue, much like Heinz made thick Ketchup an issue, and enough people believe the claim to make it a best-seller.

[mockmonkey]

23. In honor of my SO

a late Valentines Day present:

Diarrhea...Cha Cha Cha

[LynneSin]

24. Have you considered that some people might actually need 'sopping up stuff' ability

:shrug:

[LeftyMom]

25. If you had IBS, you'd know why.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

28. If you were a female you'd know why.

[Nikia]

30. Think about the the toilet paper in most public restrooms

I have learned how to take enough paper to fold for it to be absorbant enough. If it is more absorbant, you don't need as much.

[lavenderdiva]

31. Locking