Easter Stories*

[frogcycle]

Evidence that you are at a Tennessee wedding:

• The rehearsal dinner is held at Hooters.
  
• Instead of "friends of the bride or friends of the groom?", ushers ask "Ford or Chevy?"
  
• Bridesmaids wear pink tube tops and the groomsmen wear Travis Tritt t-shirts.
  
• Phrase "I Do" is replaced by "I Heard That!"
  
• Tender rendition of "The Wedding Song" is replaced by "Rocky Top" and performed by Boxcar Willie.
  
• When the minister asks, "Who Giveth This Woman To Be Married..." some guy in the back stands up and hollers "Earnhardt!"
  
• Reception conversation includes the phrase, "Been to Dollywood lately, Earl?"
  
• Snack trays and beverages at reception include vienna sausages (smoked, of course), nacho cheese Doritos and grandma's own moonshine.
  
• Plans for the Honeymoon evening include tickets to the Monster Truck Show.
  
• The sign in front of the church reads: No Shirt...No Shoes...No Problem!
  

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Two computer programmers were having a conversation at lunch and one begins telling the other a story, "Yesterday, as I was walking home through the park, a beautiful woman rode up to me on a bicycle, got off, took off all of her clothes and told me she wanted to give me whatever I wanted!"

"Wow...that's great! What did you do?", asks his friend.

"Well, I took the bicycle. I ended up getting home quite a bit earlier than usual."

"That's smart...the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyways."

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I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

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An old fellow was celebrating 92 years on this Earth.
He spoke to his toes. "Hello, toes!" he said. "How are you, toes? You know, you are 92 today. Oh, the times we've had!
Remember we walked in the park in summer every Sunday afternoon? The times we waltzed on the dance floor?
Happy Birthday, toes!"

"Hello, knees," he continued. "How are you, knees? You know you're 92 today. Oh, the times we've had!
Remember when we marched in the parade? Oh the hurdles we've jumped together!
Happy Birthday knees!"

Then, he looked down at his crotch. "Hello Willie, you little bugger!
If you were alive today, you'd be 92.

*Sick of the hearing the same old story year after frigging year, frogcycle dug thru old emails to find whatever he could to drown out the din...

[Hugin]

1. :lol:

Great jokes! :D