Latest letter from the guy I'm seeing. Tell me if he's a freak.

[crim son]

Dearest Lisette,

(romantic humor) Hey, You haven't kissed my eyes in some time. (glimpse of vulnerability) They're feeling a little neglected. (smiley to keep it light);>)

(Bold intro to main content) I'm not going to read your My Space blog anymore. (reasoning) Your readership is down. People must be bored. (inject humor) Where's Pawpicker? Where's . . . . Indian Guy? Where's . . . . . . . . . I don't know any other names, but where are they all? You need to pull them back into the fold. (heartfelt reasoning) I want you to be able to write anything you want, without fear of repercussions. (more humor) A few sexual innuendos, charges of corruption, raking across the coals, muckraking, or out and out fantasy may be needed. (heartfelt reasoning) I realize you can't do that with me looking over your shoulder. If there is something you want me to read, you can cut and paste it to me. (sincerity, selfless) I love reading what you write, but not if it is interfering with expressing yourself. (romantic pause) Besides, truth be told, I'd rather spend my time looking into your eyes,

(queue romantic close)
I kiss your eyes - D

(respondent smiles, shakes head, wonders where he comes up with this stuff, still intrigued, and . . . . .END)


___________


Laughing. WTF? On edit: The letter is a joke! I think I love this guy and am not in any way trying to make fun of him.

And now, to bed. Have a sweet night, Loungers. :grouphug:

[ChoralScholar]

1. Is this guy still trying to get in your pants?

If so, his obtuse statements are forgivable. If you two have done the deed and he still talks like this, you might wind up on an episode of CSI someday.

Just my opinion. :D

[crim son]

3. Hmmm.

Do I get to be Grissom? ... :D

[ChoralScholar]

11. I was implying that you'll be on the autopsy table

with the dude making a Y-incision in you.

But hopefully that won't happen. We like you. You should stay.

[crim son]

16. I know what you were implying!

It's weird, isn't it?

[ChoralScholar]

22. It is a bit strange.

But.. you'd know best - if it's in line with his personality, then I guess it's ok.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

2. Dammit, I always get typecast!

:mad: :P

[crim son]

6. You taught him everything he knows

and he can only dream of my lusting after him like I do you. :evilgrin:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

9. And I don't even have a degree!

:D

[crim son]

12. If I were accredited, I'd give you an honorary degree.

Oh, I'll stop. WHY won't you just drive on up here? :P

[Starbucks Anarchist]

14. I don't have a car, silly!

And Hertz is way out of my budget! :P

[crim son]

19. And mine.

If only I'd met you, say, six years ago before all my dot.com stocks crapped out. You'd be living in the back room, writing your heart out, for $50K per annum. I'd expect you to perform particular services, naturally.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

23. Like vacuuming your carpet?

:hide: :evilgrin:

[crim son]

26. Errr, yeah.

Vacuuming my carpet. That's the ticket.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

30. Yeah:

:D

[crim son]

33. Ooooh, you just killed the mood.

:rofl:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

35. But that's the ticket, dammit!

:P

[crim son]

41. I know it.

I knew as I typed it that it was a bad idea!

[Starbucks Anarchist]

43. You and your pessimism!

:P

[crim son]

47. This just proves I have a lot to learn about you.

:evilgrin:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

49. Hands-on learning?

:evilgrin:

[crim son]

51. Certainly.

Hands-on and repetition. Do it again and again and again. I can't possibly learn any other way. :evilgrin:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

53. You will learn through deep osmosis.

:evilgrin:

[crim son]

55. Yes, deep.

Damn you. I have to go to bed now. :evilgrin:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

56. Sleep well!

:D

[crim son]

58. Give me a coupla minutes.

You too. :loveya:

[Omphaloskepsis]

4. Is that verbatim?

Or did you add the stuff in parenthesis? Either way it still strikes me as odd.

[crim son]

8. The parentheses are his.

He's making a joke, referring to my badly written blog. There is no doubt that he's totally odd but my friend, so are you. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear crim son...

He doesn't sound like a freak to me......:shrug:

But I'm not really all that experienced in the ways of adult males!

See how it progresses, sweetie......:hug:

[crim son]

10. I am.

At first I thought that the letter was written with the aid of, you know, some sort of online guide and though I forgave him it did seem pretty damned weak. But apparently he's making fun of my blog.

What do you mean you're not experienced in the way of adult males? My dear girl... I simply don't believe it!

[Zookeeper]

21. I would just be a little wary of someone who is already....

making fun of you, or your blog.

Although, he may turn out to be perfectly fine, take your time, girlfriend.

:hug:

[crim son]

29. That's what I'm doing, and I appreciate your advice.

He's joking about the blog because since I have been with him I've stopped blogging and started cooing like a lovesick girl, except online. He thinks it's because he has access to it but it's really because happiness kills inspiration. At least, it kills in me the inspiration to write. So it's not as insidious as it sounds. Yet...

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Anyone who writes with that many parentheticals, of that dumb a nature, is an ass.

[crim son]

13. He can be that, too!

:rofl:

[bridgit]

17. or accepts them as a form of legal tender...

[LeftyFingerPop]

15. Speaking as a male...

I (meaning me) think that the man in question (pensive pause) is trying to get something of a sexual nature (and I mean that in a wholesome way) because men simply don't try that hard unless they want to "walk the hog".

Sincerely,
Philboy

(evil grin)
(review of post before submitting)

[crim son]

20. Heh.

Way past that stage, mate.

[LeftyFingerPop]

24. Ok then...

It's freakin' odd. Sorry, that's how I see it.

[crim son]

32. Don't be sorry. Me too!

He's the strangest person I've met, but not in a bad way. At least, not yet.

[LeftyFingerPop]

40. I don't think it is the letter...

I'm sorry to play armchair psychologist, but since you posted the letter, I will take the liberty to tell you what I think.

I don't think it's the letter. I think you are having doubts.

Being odd can be good....I'm odd....but not everyone likes that in a person.

As another poster said...listen to yourself, not what your friends here or elsewhere tell you.

If something is eating at you, there is a reason for it.

[crim son]

50. I do understand what you're saying but you are mistaken.

On the contrary, I think I've fallen in love with him. What I find overwhelmingly attractive is the fact that we share a bizarre sense of humor, as is indicated by the letter. I knew nobody would get it!

The post is inspired by Elrond Hubbard's love post to Kagehime. He couldn't keep quiet about how he was feeling.

Me either, I just have a strange way of showing it.

[LeftyFingerPop]

54. Did you post the letter to really ask if he is a freak...

or did you post the letter because you are overjoyed with your love for him? If it is the latter, then I understand.

Words are just flat type, and sometimes their true meaning takes awhile to be sorted out.

All the best to you,

Philboy

[crim son]

57. Only the latter.

One runs the risk of being misunderstood online. No worries.

[Random_Australian]

18. Seems genuinely good to me, just bad at english & letter writing.

In other words, to attempt to be humorous one must try and think of the other person's response, in other words, he's at least trying to work out your POV.

Which is a good thing, thus far.

Just remember this doesn't tell you that much about him, but yes, thus far it is ok.

After all, saying that anything but the norm is somehow bad is a surefire way to make all the interesting people very lonely. :)

[crim son]

25. I've known him for almost... could it be four months? although for

the first two we only met twice and the rest of the time exchanged emails. The letter is a joke but a bizarre one. Hi, RA! I haven't seen you lately, though that may be because I've been going to bed earlier.

[Random_Australian]

27. I've not really seen you around either. Anyway, people with quirky senses of humour,

if they are also kind people, are the BEST. :)

[crim son]

34. What about people who insist on spelling "humor" as "humour"?

Can I trust their judgement? :hug: :loveya:

[Random_Australian]

44. Never! There's always plotting to make you reasonably happy by giving

the best advice they can as a friend!


Shock! Gasp! Run while you still can! ;)

:hug:

Sounds like an alright guy, y'know. :loveya:

[StarryNite]

28. Be careful

You seem to have doubts about this guy. Listen to your intuition. Proceed with caution.

[crim son]

37. My intuition tells me he's perfect.

My intuition sucks.

[Missy Vixen]

31. I'm thinking he's not a great love letter writer

Then again, who is? :scared:

It's best to keep them short and sweet. The "I kiss your eyes" is very, very sweet.

I don't know what to think. In the meantime, crim son, I'm hoping for the perfect guy for you.

Julie

[crim son]

39. Oh, I couldn't post a real love letter.

He writes those too. This is only a joke.

Thank you for your kind words, Julie! If not the perfect guy, then I'll take near-perfect.

[Missy Vixen]

61. My husband wrote me a couple of love letters when we were first married

They're tattered. I read them so many times they're about to fall apart. He still does not understand what even a few lines scrawled on a piece of paper means to me.

>If not the perfect guy, then I'll take near-perfect.<

I will be crossing my fingers for the very best man for you.

Julie

[Blue-Jay]

36. Weird....He sent me the same letter last month.

[crim son]

42. ...

:rofl:

Did he accompany it with photos of his cat?

[Blue-Jay]

59. No, but...

[Drum]

38. Poor guy.

By posting his letter here, I dunno, it just sounds like you have zero respect for him. :shrug:


Oh I see...my weekly punking by a faux post. :eyes:

[crim son]

45. Oh Drum, you couldn't be further from the truth.

I'm posting it because I think I love him. I knew ahead of the game that the letter would be misunderstood. And get this: he's a republican and I've been lashed for that too.

It's not a love letter, it's a joke letter. There is no reason why you should have read the entire thread but if you had, you'd know it. Nevertheless, I feel quite chastised.

[Drum]

48. Serves me right

for pulling over.

[crim son]

52. I'm sorry if you're claiming entrapment.

I'm just so happy!

[StarryNite]

46. I think in this day and age it's

smart to be cautious and to get input from other people.

[SPKrazy]

60. Pawpicker here...

nice.

happy for you

[Ariana Celeste]

62. I love it!

That cracked me up! :D

[SKKY]

63. So, you haven't let him hit it yet, right?

Joking. "I kiss your eyes" must be something between you and him, like an inside joke, because I've never heard that expression before. How long have you known this guy? He could very well be setting you up you know?

[Downtown Hound]

64. He's evil.

I still haven't forgiven him for that David Hasselhoff incident. You should RUN! And run FAR!

Wait a minute, the video you showed was even worse! Okay, you two are made for each other. Enjoy!

[I Have A Dream]

65. If this letter is sincere, I think that it's very touching.

It's very sweet that he wants you to continue to have other parts of your life that feed you without you having to worry that he's going to get jealous or angry about what you write. He doesn't expect your life to revolve around him, and he wants you to be happy.

I love truly sensitive men.

[SarahB]

66. If he's good too you and your kids,

and you care about him, that's what matters most.

However, I will admit though that a letter like that would likely make me say :wtf: and buh-bye!

[TZ]

67. Well I think its very sweet..

I would love to be seeing someone who was that concerned for me as an individual, not as merely an extension of themselves..In other words I would love to get a letter like that, but I happen to really like men with that offbeat sense of humor...:)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

68. i think its a super cute letter.

:hug: