Because I care about your safety: A psa.

[LaraMN]

I was recently assaulted by a jar of JIF brand peanut butter (18 ounce size) which dove out of my pantry and punched me in the leg, resulting in a large, swollen bruise, and also causing me to slam my kneecap into the wall.

The JIF corporation accepts no responsibility for their product assaulting me and denies that their product is a danger to the general population, so I'm telling you. Consider yourself warned; choosy moms don't choose to be mugged by malicious peanut products.

[Tyler Durden]

1. Nice legs.

Hubba.

[LaraMN]

2. *snort!*

That's a leg and an eighth, tyvm.

:P

[Tyler Durden]

4. That's why you only got one "hubba."

Two legs, two "hubbas." That's the rules. I didn't make 'em.

[LaraMN]

6. I don't think you're taking my warning seriously.

You're not getting any sympathy from me when you get a beat-down from a gentleman by the name of "Skippy ExtraCrunchy."

[Tyler Durden]

13. Never met the man.

Natural peanut butter: only stuff I buy so it lives in the fridge to keep from separating.

Still waiting on the leg, though.

[Oeditpus Rex]

3. Did you know before this happened

that you're allergic to peanuts?

:D

[LaraMN]

5. Peanuts are assholes.

I don't need to be allergic to know that.

x(

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. They should put a warning on the label

[LaraMN]

12. YES!

That is IT!
:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

7. A large Costco sized jar of Duke's mayonnaise did the same thing to Mr. Mido.

Hit him right on the scar of the bypass. Again, no responsibility on the part of Duke's OR Costco.

[LaraMN]

10. Omg! Omg!

I am wincing at the thought!
Mayo is an even bigger asshole than pb!

x(

[flvegan]

8. Can we get a wider angle or a pan out on this shot? Thanks.

[LaraMN]

11. Huh? My body stops at the thigh. Didn't you know that?

All you people with heads, torsos, and mid-sections are so freaking presumptuous.

:eyes:

[flvegan]

14. My photobucket says otherwise

fl "right click, save master" vegan

[billyoc]

15. That's pretty thin evidence.

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

16. OMG! Don't let DS1 see that pic.

[DS1]

18. I prefer to leave it alone

:P

[Midlodemocrat]

19. Sure. You're cunning in that way. You'll wait for the right moment

and *BLAM* there it is. Just like her poor husband's appendix.

[SKKY]

20. I'm still wonderin' why you're doing the Michael Jackson "crotch grab" thing...

...are you a fan of MJ or something?

[flvegan]

21. I think it's subliminal.

Notice how your attention is drawn there?

Diabolical.

[LaraMN]

24. I gave a FULL DISCLAIMER on that!

:spank:

[madinmaryland]

17. I would suggest a wide stance in order to avoid the pb jar!

[LaraMN]

25. Ohhh.. good call.

The next time I open the pantry, I'll make certain to "assume the position".

:P

[rug]

22. The jelly did it.

[LaraMN]

26. The jelly remained politely on the shelf.

But jelly can be devious, that way...

[krispos42]

31. Mr. Jif was PUSHED!!!

That jelly's homicidal. Mr. Ragu had better keep a sharp eye out!

[GirlinContempt]

23. My dearest Lara

I suggest you get some Squirrel and let them duke it out

[LaraMN]

27. Is that a butter?

Where you been, huh?!
Did you run off and get a life or sumpin'?
You were not authorized to do that; it requires your signature on multiple forms, in triplicate.
:* :* :*
:hi:

[GirlinContempt]

28. Well, for the last two weeks

I've been home with a cyst, high as a kite on percocet, and nearly unable to focous on anything, so I haven't been on DU much.
I miss you like crazygonuts.
Talk soon, eh?

[LaraMN]

33. Yes! We are horrendously overdue for a phone date!

Are you around on weekends, much? Maybe we can coordinate!

:bounce:

[GirlinContempt]

34. mmm not too much

but this weekend probably as I'm still recovering :)

[BarenakedLady]

29. Things like that happen to me all the time!

Door jambs are particularly nefarious.

Ouch.

[flvegan]

30. Got any Barenaked pics of that?

I take them via PM too, btw.

[BarenakedLady]

32. Next time I'm accosted by inanimate objects

I'll take a picture.

:P

[cloudbase]

35. Here's an attorney referral

[LaraMN]

37. We're gonna take those JIF bastards!

Y'know what "JIF" stands for?"

Jerks
Ismakingpeanutbutter
Forkillingus.

[unpossibles]

36. it sounds like the PB is evolving, and dangerously!

Kirk Cameron is wrong again!

[LaraMN]

38. Kirk Cameron is always "wrong."

On sooo many levels....

[Parche]

39. Skippy Never Assaults

Take my advice next time.........................:hi: