Ex-GF sends article on "Peter Pan Syndrome"

[Jack_Dawson]

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/05/070501112023.htm

Has anyone heard of this "disease"? Just cuz I don't want to get married to someone I'm likely to divorce and then have to pay alimony errr...spousal support the rest of my life. Now I have a "disease"? The quotes are all from a woman and I'm sure the article was written by one. Hilarious though - and pretty dead on.

JD

[JVS]

1. I don't believe in it. I do believe in the 'trying to pressure others into levels of commitment....

they are not comfortable with and trying to pathologize their resistance'-syndrome though.

[RushIsRot]

2. No, THIS is the Peter Pan Syndrome.

http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/

[JVS]

3. I'm not clicking that link again!

:scared:

[Swede]

4. I second that.

:scared: :scared:

[Monk06]

15. That boy really loves his mother n/t

[Frank Cannon]

17. Ah, yes, the Randy Constan site

He put that site together a few years ago to find a girlfriend. And since then, he's probably had more action than Hugh Hefner.

[Maestro]

24. The dude is getting married!

http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/updatenews.html#046

[Mojorabbit]

26. She is cute as can be..

amazing.

[Sequoia]

30. Please issue a warning !!

[Heidi]

33. If that's the weirdest thing a person ever sees on the internet, that person has

Shelted Life Syndrome.

I think it's cool that the Pixyland guy is being who he is (that takes courage) and has found some who's cool with him being who he is. I wish them only the best.

[HEyHEY]

5. Yeah, my buddy has it.

Fucking guy is like 30 and just wants to do the EXACT same things we all did when we were 18.

[JVS]

6. You say that like it's so awful

[HEyHEY]

7. I didn't get laid nearly as much when I was 18

So, yeah, it sucks.

[JVS]

8. Well maybe when he was 18 he was banging freshman and sophmore girls

which would explain his desire to continue ;-)

[HEyHEY]

9. He wishes. When he was 18 he was, "Chandra" brrrrrrr

[Jack_Dawson]

10. He "Has it"

so you believe it's a real "disease"? C'mon now HEyHEY now I know you're just yankin' our chainz.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

11. Oh, blah

When are we going to get over this obsession of needing a piece of paper and some vows to prove someone wants to spend their life with someone?

Even worse is when you are totally honest and out front, sometimes on the first date about not believing in marriage, and they say they "respect that", and then three years down the road they tell you as she's breaking up with you "I thought you'd get over that eventually".

[Book Lover]

12. When we no longer have any laws, I think

I didn't need a certificate to prove I wanted to spend my life with my spouse, but I did need it to prove that I'm the one who inherits, makes medical decisions, etc. We lived together for over a decade before wedding, and we wed because we had a child. It makes sense in certain situations.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

13. You have a point, but I don't think that's the reason.......

.....the vast majority of men and women get into fights regarding the state of the relationship and committment to it.

[Book Lover]

14. Yep, I was speaking tangentially

Peter Pan "syndrome" is a marketer's phrase, though, not any real medical condition fer cri-yi.

[MissMillie]

16. well, frankly.... it's kinda the most you can offer

and if you really do want to spend your life w/ someone, it shouldn't be that difficult for you to do.

Why should your SO have to settle for lest than the most you have to offer?

To me, a reluctance to go that step means you don't REALLY mean that you want to share your life.

"You mean everything to me. I'll do ANYTHING for you.... except......" Doesn't quite cut it.

Clearly it's not "just a piece of paper." If it were, you wouldn't have such an objection to it. It obviously means something more than that.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

20. Who says I can offer it, if I don't believe in it?

Should I also convert to a religion I don't believe in just because I don't have one now because it will prove something to them? How about change my politics, just because I could, at least on the surface?

I also don't want children. Would I be withholding "the most I could give" if I got a vasectomy or used birth control? If my SO wants kids, I should just give in and give her a couple because I can?

You're right. It isn't just a piece of paper. It's a legal document born from an antiquated custom. I find it causes more harm than good. My parents have been married 40 years, but I see them as an exception and not a rule anymore. I make clear early in any serious relationship, I'm not interested in marriage and I do not want kids. If my potential SO does not like that idea, they can leave right then and there. What angers me is when someone after a serious discussion years later tells me that I thought I'd change my mind and basically was "just hanging in there" waiting for me to do so.

I'm tired of the stigma that if a man doesn't want to get married, he's a gigolo, a loser, a child, unfaithful, a womanizer.....it's as sexist as saying woman who doesn't want to get married must be a lesbian, a cold fish, lacking warmth, career driven.....

[MissMillie]

28. I didn't make any of those claims

and people who don't want to get married, shouldn't get married, and they should partner up with other people who don't want to be married.

There's nothing wrong with any of that.

But don't try to convince me that you're making a full commitment. You're not. The very nature of not making the legal commitment means you have one foot out the door.

Some women might be okay with that, and that's fine.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

29. "One foot out the door"

That's bullshit. That's the jump from one conclusion to another that pisses me off.

And I agree. People who want to get married should pair off with others who want to, not try to have a test of wills with someone whose made clear their intentions from the start out of honesty and love so that they could make their own decision.

[Jack_Dawson]

34. Hooz that chick? Sheez hot

:beer:

[Cannikin]

18. Aside from replacing my parter regularly....I may have that!

Lord knows there are usually traces of fairy dust everywhere I've been.

[Solon]

19. That's "Tinker Bell syndrome", I think they have a suppository for that. n/t

[La Lioness Priyanka]

21. i think you are just a garden variety sleazebag not one with a specific syndrome.

and i say this to you because of your earlier comments about me.

[Jack_Dawson]

35. Which comment was that?

Seriously. Did I say you were cute or something? Sorry I have opinions. I know you're a lesbian. :beer:

[Mojorabbit]

22. He discusses

a peter pan hooked up with a wendy. Seems like a perfect match. I don't see where it is a problem. Each are meeting eachothers needs. It takes all kinds and that is a good thing if each person is fulfilled.

[KurtNYC]

23. Pop BS

What they describe in very vague and unscientific terms in no way rises to the level of a "disease." Paranoid schizophrenia, anorexia (real anorexia = distorted body image), Tourette's syndrome, alcoholism -- these are real diseases with real damaging effects.

People fear change and seek to repeat positive experiences. If anything the phrase "peter Pan syndrome" is product of the same TV/advertising/fashion industry that both creates and caters to it.

[DS1]

25. I'm all over that that shit

[redqueen]

31. 'thfuck?!

:rofl:

[rug]

27. At least she didn't send you something that was ticking.

[redqueen]

32. Being an immature person and refusing to grow up isn't a disease.

Jesus.

[crim son]

36. When I was dating the man I eventually married, his ex-girlfriend

sent him a book on that subject exactly. It was rather sad, because she didn't know about me and the fact that he and I were engaged. Of course, we are now separated and readying ourselves for the divorce, whatever that means. :P

[Jack_Dawson]

38. I'm sorry about that.

How long were you hitched?

[crim son]

39. Oh, don't be... it's a good thing. I just think it's funny.

Seventeen years. I think we'll make it to eighteen before the divorce is finalized.

[Inchworm]

37. I love you dude!

keyword - "ex"

:hug: