Staring at Boobs Prolongs Men's Life by 5 Years

[jgraz]

10 Minutes Of Staring at Boobs Daily Prolongs Man's Life by 5 Years

A German research published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News said that men staring at women's breasts in fact prolong their lives with years.

"Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out," said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

The team led by Weatherby was made up of researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, and found this results after monitoring for 5 years the health of 200 male subjects, half of whom were asked to look at busty females daily, while the other half had to abstain from doing so.

For five years, the boob oglers presented a lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and decreased risk of coronary artery disease.

"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There's no question: Gazing at large breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half." said Weatherby, who even recommended that men aged over 40 should spend at least 10 minutes daily admiring breasts sized "D-cup" or larger.

She said that this was as healthy as going to the gym for 30 minutes daily and prolonged a man's life by five years.


http://news.softpedia.com/news/10-Minutes-Of-Staring-Boobs-Daily-Prolongs-Man-039-s-Life-by-5-Years-72490.shtml

I'm gonna live to be 150!!!!

[Flaxbee]

1. oh. my. god

did you see the pic in the story? Please tell me that woman's breasts can't be real...

Do they have to be 'live' boobs or can the boobs be in a photo?

[jgraz]

3. My favorite part of that pic is the "enlarge" button underneath

As if they needed it...

:scared:

[Capn Sunshine]

13. dude.

There's this thing called photoshop.

[krispos42]

16. I think it's "Chelsea Charms"

I got lucky on a Wikipedia search, then Google Image search.





http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chelsea_Charms

[Capn Sunshine]

20. no. way.

Thanks for the link. I learned there is a magazine called "Buxotica"

Try and explain that phenomena to a jihadist terrorist.
After ten minutes you'd probably agree with him.

[krispos42]

25. *checks porn stash on PC*

Um, I think I'm going to have to refuse to take sides here...

O8)

[Arkansas Granny]

45. Someone has implanted that woman with basketballs!!!!

[Bucky]

73. Damn! If my plane crashes into the sea, I hope I'm in the seat next to her!

She's a floatation device and her shirt could probably double as a lateen sail.

[Dukkha]

81. I'll let you know in 10 minutes

:D

[Robeson]

2. This study means nothing.....

..without a corresponding study on the effects of staring at boot-ey!...:o

[KitchenWitch]

5. Equal time for ass men!

:P

[Robeson]

10. You got it!....

... ;-) :rofl:

[jgraz]

7. They also haven't studied the lifespan effects of having your wife catch you staring at boobies

[KitchenWitch]

4. I would have LOVED to have been in the room when they gave the pitch for THAT study!

:crazy:

[Flabbergasted]

50. Germans are not as up tight about breasts.

[sakabatou]

6. Best. News. EVER.

[mike_c]

8. dear GAWD I am going to live forever!

:bounce: :bounce:

[Dr. Strange]

30. According to my calculations...

I should live to be about 1755 years old.

That's assuming the boob supply doesn't run out.

[hisownpetard]

9. Staring at boobs prolongs a man's life - yeah, unless they're his own!

[Wapsie B]

11. This isn't the Onion either.

:rofl:

[Contrary1]

12. Don't tell my hubby that!

I've been missing one breast for 10 years, and the other 7. Maybe I better buy him a subscription to Penthouse. ;)

[Skittles]

19. give it up Contrary

he knew you weren't all there when he married you :)

[ellisonz]

86. There is the surgical option.

[Fire Walk With Me]

14. Buzzkill. This story is kin to Batchild.

There's only one comment, and it lists snopes.com.

This article has no date, also it has been debunked
http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/breasts.asp
It first appeared in the Weekly World News 13 May 1997.

But you know what? I'm not going to stop looking, and I'm not going to stop hoping. My heart is pure because I stare at boobies of all types, so no snopes is going to convince me that I'm not also adding years to my life.

Boobies give, they do not take away. So there.

[quip]

38. But we must take into account the placeboob effect!

And look on looking!

http://www.vrag.ru.nyud.net:8090/images/news_pic/big_boobs.jpg

[Fire Walk With Me]

43. Breasticles. The girl has breasticles.

Why oh why did she have two beanbag chairs sewn to her sternum? Not in my most ludicrous fantasies...or worst dreams.

Does she have a name for the wheelbarrow she must regularly use to move around?

[quip]

55. Lucky?

(or UNlucky) :rofl:

[Zookeeper]

79. Ouch!!!! And for the guys out there, I have to ask them to...

imagine having testes that size.

If that isn't photoshopped, those breasts are actually a physical handicap on the level of footbinding.

[petronius]

15. Those poor guys in the control group

Five years of NOT staring at boobs!? :scared:

[lildreamer316]

17. YAY!! I am EXTENDING men's LIVES!!!

WOOHOO!!
:evilgrin:

[Lautremont]

21. Not just their lives!

(I am abjectly sorry - had to do it...)

[lildreamer316]

26. Oh, that's fine..

I really don't mind that..I'm used to it...it's all good!!
LOL!!

[SarahB]

18. Um... note to my husband

"Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out," said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

I guess you're right about the powers (and you needn't worry about how much you've been running lately.) ;)

[fortyfeetunder]

22. Notice they didn't say anything about touching them...

or the risks thereof.

[Fire Walk With Me]

23. Risks from touching them?

"They're the wrong boobs, Gromit! And they've gone wrong!"

[Recovered Repug]

84. Touching the wrong pair,

greatly decreases men's lifespans.

[Inchworm]

24. Amen

*bows head and says he believes in god*

:hi:

[leftofthedial]

27. this post is worthless without pics

[Inchworm]

28. you asked

:yoiks:

[leftofthedial]

29. that's udderly gross!

[Fox Mulder]

31. Forget the gym. I'll just look at boobies.

:D

[LynneSin]

32. MY GOD!!!! Matcom will live forever

:hide:

[NewJeffCT]

33. This study has been going around the internets for years now

I think I remember it from the late 90s.

I like the results, though.

[Rob H.]

34. So is the benefit directly proportional to the size of the boobs?

'Cause some of us prefer lookin' at smaller bewbies, y'know. Does that mean I get to look at 'em for 20 minutes instead of 10?

Decisions, decisions.... :P

[yellowcanine]

41. The researchers are groping for the answer to that very question.

[guitar man]

35. yippeee!!!!

I'm gonna live forever!! :evilgrin:

[MissMillie]

36. so instead of getting some exercise

objectify women!

as if they needed an excuse.

[kwassa]

37. I thought staring at boobs prolonged something else,

anatomically speaking, of course

[quip]

39. That theory is engorged in controversy

:hi:

[Fire Walk With Me]

47. I wooden want to think that you were just yanking our chains, there.

[quip]

57. That would make me a jerk off monumental proportions

[Fire Walk With Me]

61. We must nipple it in the buddocks before it grows all out of proportion.

[quip]

64. That would work out breast, bra.

[Fire Walk With Me]

69. It's just uvula and me, girlfriend. Think of it: bust againt the word!

[quip]

70. There's no womb for anyone else. Oh, the mammaries we'll share.

[Orrex]

77. You should both be ashamed of yourselves

Not for the content of your puns but for their udder absence of quality.

[quip]

78. Is that the breast you cans do? Ta Ta For Now

:hi:

[yellowcanine]

40. I have to think that this revelation is a business opportunity for Dolly Parton.

[billyskank]

42. So, should we make Emergency Rooms like Hooters restaurants?

[av8rdave]

44. I'm showing this to the wife...though she doesn't care if I look anyway...

[TK421]

46. Would this cancel out the negative effects of years of smoking?

If that's the case, then I just might go back to it ( it's been over a week since I quit )

[Flabbergasted]

48. Don't do it. You're over the worst of it. nt

[TK421]

51. I hope you're right, because I'm already getting jittery and feeling

really, really weird ( it's kind of hard to explain ). It almost feels like I haven't been eating right

[Flabbergasted]

53. How long have you smoked and when did you start?

[TK421]

54. I've been smoking since I was sixteen, so sixteen years now

[Frank Cannon]

67. Start eating right, working out, and getting some sleep

That's your body telling you that things haven't been taken care of in a while. Smoking shut that response off.

You'll feel better than you have in ages. You'll wonder why you didn't do this a long time ago.

Congratulations on getting past a week of not smoking. Your physical addiction to nicotine is finished. The rest is all above the eyeballs.

[Eurobabe]

49. My husband will live to 300!

LOL, he's SUCH a boob man.

[tigereye]

52. I kept looking for the Onion link

but no such luck.

[Shine]

56. That's hilarious, but if you do it while you're smoking ,it's a total wash

smoking shortens your life by 5 yrs. :D

:hi:

[Deja Q]

58. But if the woman attached to them is offended and has a knife, a man's life could be

reduced to 5 seconds.

[supernova]

59. I've been told I have really nice boobs

:D

They look rather large on me.

(No, NO WHERE NEAR THE FREAK IN THE ARTICLE! )

[NewJeffCT]

87. Your post...

is useless without pictures.

Just think of how'll you'll be improving the health of male DUers.

[Turbineguy]

60. This Doctor

no doubt has a thriving practice.

[supernova]

62. Belongs in the same medical journal

as the article about women giving BJs lessening our risk of cancer.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

63. only a boob would believe this shit

sheesh :eyes:

[regnaD kciN]

65. I assume it's obvious to all that this is a joke...

...considering that it's a study "published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News." (The latter of which just went out of business, BTW.)

[kentauros]

66. I think I may be in the equally long-lived category

but wonder if drawings count, too? Especially the "helium-hooter" variety

Now I just need to find an equally long-lived woman for those declining years. Anyone have any old lamps (or bottles) for new ones? ;)

[Perry Logan]

68. This means I'm getting in shape when I watch the Fitness Channel.

[Deja Q]

71. And I thought staring at the House of Representatives LOWERED peoples' lifespans by 5 years...

:hide:

[Crabby Appleton]

72. so if I stare at breasts for an hour a day

I'll extend my life by 30 years!1!

actually I'd rather look at legs.

[pokerfan]

82. legs?

I don't need legs. I have legs.

[MilesColtrane]

74. Boobs!

You're gonna sport forever
Your gonna learn how to spy
High

I feel the downcast eyes
People will see me and cry
Boobs

I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a tube
Boobs

I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my rack

Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember

Baby hold me tight
Cause you can make it right
You can look me straight in my top
Give me love and take in all of my chops

Baby I'll be pert
Too much not to assert
I'll pose while your pupils ache
Ooo I got what it takes

Boobs
They're gonna sport forever
Your gonna learn how to spy
High

I feel the puppies cleaving
People will see me and cry
Boobs

I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a tube
Boobs

Cup size'll live forever
Baby remember my frame

Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember

[Orrex]

75. I question the honesty of the control group

Researcher: Okay, it's been five years. You haven't looked at any breasts, have you?

Control Group: Uh, sure. Of course not. Um.

[Ahpook]

76. I rather like my girlfriends "B-Cups"

I guess i am fekkin doomed.

[bridgit]

80. whelp, there's the proof, hubby's going to live forever...

:)

[SKKY]

83. If that's the case, I will live until I'm 467 years old.

[Richard Steele]

85. Y'all better prepare yer grandkids for my nonsense, cuz I'm gonna live to be 1500 years old! nm

[CabalPowered]

88. Great! I wonder if my health insurance agent

will adjust my premiums accordingly? :shrug: