Need advice

[lost-in-nj]

Found out today that stbxh is sending flowers to his howorker.....
my daughter works in his office and sees this.....
I have an email in drafts telling him

that I have been dissed enough and daughter is depressed because he is an asshole and not worried about how she feels...
and I have an appointment on the 25th with my lawyer.... he knows I have been looking in to a divorce.... we actually had a lunch and came to a divorce agreement together.
he has NOT found a lawyer
and has not answered any questions I have asked regarding a divorce.....

the email is not very nice.....
I am NOT looking to be nasty, we came to a really good agreement
but my daughter is hurting.......

should I send it??
wait a day or 2??
delete it???


I want to send it....
but to be honest not sure what to do....


thanks friends

lost


:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Orangepeel]

1. don't send anything until you talk to your lawyer on the 25th

it might not make any difference but why risk it?

[lost-in-nj]

11. Thanks for your input

I think i agree...

:)


lost

[Orangepeel]

23. it's easier to be sure when it is somebody else

Good luck and stay strong

:hug:

[Richard Steele]

2. In my experience, that sounds like something to sleep on before sending.

You yourself say it: "the email is not very nice".

If it's gonna be related to divorce proceedings, it's really
in your interest to keep all correspondence very calm & neutrally-worded.
Harsh words can come back to bite you on the ass at any moment.

[lost-in-nj]

12. I know....

I should wait......

thanks


lost

[AlCzervik]

3. i think i'd wait, i understand why you're pissed but hold off until at least the 25th and then

maybe you won't even feel like sending it all. I didn't realize they all worked in the same office, that must be more than a little awkward for your daughter.

:hug:

[lost-in-nj]

13. thanks

:hug:


lost

[Parche]

4. HMmmm gorn

what is a stbxh :shrug:


:hi:



found stbxh

[lost-in-nj]

14. soon to be exhusband

thats what it means


:(


lost

[Parche]

19. i say have a bread stick at olive garden khadafi

That will cheer you up
:hi:



found bsaog

[lost-in-nj]

20. salad to???

lost

[Ptah]

5. Ptah's magic seashell says

:hug:

[lost-in-nj]

15. Thank you friend

beautiful shell


lost

[Haole Girl]

6. I am 100% sure I would not take my own advice, but here it is:

When in doubt, don't send an email. Or, at least, sleep on it.

Good luck.

:hug:

[lost-in-nj]

17. thanks

:hug:

I'm gonna wait.....

lost

[Fleshdancer]

7. as a general rule, I recommend never emailing in anger

The letter won't make your daughter feel better, it won't make you any less angry, and it might work against you during the divorce.

Instead I recommend you print out the letter then erase it from your computer. Pull the letter out a year or two from now and read it to remind yourself how much better your life is without the asshole. Then burn it.

If taking the high road still nags at you (because we're all human that way from time to time) you could always call the howorker and say you're from the local Planned Parenthood and have urgent news regarding stbxh's test results and literature on treatment options. :shrug:

:hug:

[lost-in-nj]

18. all good

thanks


:hug:

lost

[philosophie_en_rose]

8. Please don't send it.

Consult your lawyer first.

[lildreamer316]

9. Walk softly and carry a big stick.

Revenge is a dish best served very very COLD.

Sorry about all the well-used phrases, but it is true.
Sit on it and wait. He will get even worse.
DOCUMENT. Tell your daughter to do so. Tell her you love her,and hope she is ok, but to let it be...
Get the lawyer, and bring as your first witness in your alienation of affection suit...your daughter.
You will both be better off in the end. He is digging his own grave.

[Shakespeare]

10. "howorker"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

That's great!

[GreenPartyVoter]

16. Let your lawyer handle everything *hugs*

[Mike03]

21. I have no advice, but just wanted to send you my affection.

You are a very nice person. Thank you so much for the messages you sent, and my heart is with you.

[RainDog]

22. Your daughter should tell him

she can email him if she doesn't feel comfortable saying it face to face.

but if you're going to get a divorce, she's going to have to create her own relationship with her father. If she's old enough to work in the office, can't she do this?

They are going to have to find a way to communicate without your intercession.