Info about my Dad's death. I am detached, so don't read if you're tender.

[bertha katzenengel]

I called the Riverside County Sheriff-Coroner yesterday. The deputy I talked to told me what their site inspection seemed to reveal: that a wing clipped a hillside and his plane flipped over and went in nose first. He also told me what the cause of death was: multiple blunt force injuries.

He was only sixty-eight, and he's gone. I don't believe it. Hearing it from the coroner doesn't make it real. It's not real.

I guess I should go to the bereavement group.

[Cabcere]

1. Bertha, I am so, so sorry for your loss.

:hug: I doubt there's anything I can say or do to make this easier for you, but I'll be thinking about you and your family and sending good vibes your way. :grouphug: Peace.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

2. Bertha, you know I'm not that far from you...

If there's anything I can do to help you, please just say the word. Rides to the airport? Hang out to help Mrs V? Bring a casserole by?

I'm glad to be here for you... :hug::hug::hug:

[BarenakedLady]

3. I'm so sorry.

It will take awhile before it seems real.

:hug:

[youthere]

4. Bertha I am so so sorry.

I wish there was something wise I could say that would help you through this time. :hug:

[Skittles]

5. Kim

multiiple blunt force = he died quickly and did not suffer

I'm so sorry for you - yes, contact a bereavement group if you feel the need - they do help people

[bertha katzenengel]

6. didn't suffer? are you sure?

:cry: we weren't even that close and i can't believe how much i hurt.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

7. Due to the high speed, it's highly unlikely that he felt any physical pain.

Sorry if I sound cold, but sometimes the cold, hard facts ARE comforting.

Oh, and by the way: :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

9. No, JC, you sound detached, like i was until...

...i read Skittles's response. IINM, she was in the military, maybe Air Force? Maybe with some specific knowledge due to flight training? You must have some similar training. either that or you're way smarter and more detached than me.

:hug:

[Skittles]

13. I was in the Air Force

but no, I have no kind of flight training.

You need to stop tormenting yourself - please do contact the bereavement group as soon as you can - you need to talk out your feelings with a trained counselor.

[uppityperson]

14. I am detached...

being a nurse and all (also an ex-sky diver). This means he died fast, the shock of impact means he felt no pain. I had an acquaintance who bounced skydiving (chute opened partway leading to not much slowing down before hit ground). He said he didn't feel anything for over 15 minutes, body was in shock. Not until he was in ambulance did he feel. Being a nurse I always wondered if shock mean no pain and I found this reassuring.

Regarding detachment: bereavement group can help. At my parent's 6 month death anniversary I crashed. Had alternated between hyper functioning and unable to function. I got meds to help me sleep a few nights, managed to get to bereavement group (why the HELL did they hold it in a hospital? I walked in, turned and walked out cause the smells just got me), and it never goes away, even 16 yrs later, but it does get easier to deal with.

Hugs to you.

[Skittles]

8. I think multiple-blunt force

pretty much means he died instantly.

I do know how you feel Kim - I did not see or talk to my dad much after I left home but it still hit me hard when he died.....you are still in shock right now, you have to give yourself time to grieve. I know this: time does not heal all wounds but it does make them easier to bear, I promise.

[bertha katzenengel]

10. ..

:hug: ty

[pleah]

11. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last spring. I know how you feel.

[SallyMander]

12. I am so, so sorry

What a sudden and shocking way to lose someone.


All my condolences to you and your family. :hug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

15. I am so sorry for your loss, Bertha.

You don't have to go to the bereavement group. We love you here too, and want to comfort you.
:hug:
I hope you find some peace soon. If you need an ear, I'm here.
Duckie

[bigwillq]

16. Hey Bertha.

:hug:
Again, I am very sorry for your loss. :hug:

[Xipe Totec]

17. He died doing what he loved

I can't tell you your father did not suffer; he probably did.

It was an honorable end to a glorious life.

I envy your father for what he achieved in life.

[maveric]

18. I'm so sorry Bertha.

I'm lost for words.

[LWolf]

19. .

:hug:

[Maine-ah]

20. bertha,

I understand how you are feeling, I lost my father in a rather unexpected manor too, he was only 50. I was 20. If you want to you can pm me anytime you feel you just need someone to talk to. :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

21. much love and peaceful vibes for you, Bertha.

Very much of both for you and your family.

[riderinthestorm]

22. Oh I am so, so very sorry for your loss.

I really hope you can find some comfort in the fact that he went out flying - obviously something he loved.

May peace and strength surround you and your family during this time. I would echo what so many others have said, find a bereavement group. Or at least keep talking to everyone here at DU. It really helps to have folks around you who really understand your situation and/or who can offer some support and comfort.

[av8rdave]

23. I am so sorry for your loss!

My condolences

[Arugula Latte]

24. I'm so sorry. My dad died a few years ago at that same age.

He seemed healthy and then *Bam!* he was gone. I was in a state of disbelief for many months. Bertha, be good to yourself and believe that it will get easier, because it will. :hug:

[Mugu]

25. I'm very sorry to hear about the death of your dad.

I started to write about my dad's death, but then realized that the death of a parent is unique to each person. My sincere condolences to you and yours.

Regards, Mugu

[madinmaryland]

26. I'm sorry for your loss.

I wish I could add something, but I can't.

:hug:

[tigereye]

27. please be kind to yourself

:hug: