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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-29-08 10:46 PM
Original message
Ethical question (jobs)
I got laid off

I got an offer for a new job.

I accepted.

Now I have another offer; better salary, closer commute.

So should I honor the first job offer, which I accepted?

Or should I renege, and take the better offer?

:shrug:

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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-29-08 10:47 PM
Response to Original message
1. I say follow your heart
Be true to thine self.

Ok. So I've had a bit to drink and it may not be logical. But that's what I say. Good Luck!
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-29-08 10:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. My heart is not a trusty compass
I've had a bit to drink too. After all, it's friday!

Either way, I'm betraying a confidence, and a friend.
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 12:07 PM
Response to Reply #2
10. You should tell your friend right before you notify the employer.
Hearing it from the employer first would cause a bigger problem, IMHO. The company may choose to match the salary offer and that would make it a tougher call, or they may simply say no thanks. This sort of situation happens often enough that it shouldn't cause too much of a hassle as long as you're upfront about before you start working there, because once you become an employee you've started to cost them a good chunk of change related to putting you on the books, orientation, office space set up, etc.
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Generic Brad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-29-08 11:17 PM
Response to Original message
3. Want some advice from an employer?
Take the better offer. Employers are looking out for their best interests, not yours.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-29-08 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. haha!
I wanted to say that, but it sounded so cold coming from me! lol
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-29-08 11:23 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. I hear and understand
If it was just the employer, there would be no ethical issue; screw them. The other dimension of this problem is networking; what if you found the job through your social network, and reneging will cause your friends to lose face?
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Generic Brad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-29-08 11:28 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. I've been burned by someone who did that
I still see her mother almost every day and it has not affected our working relationship in any negative way. Things like that happen all the time. I lived. I'm sure the person who helped you out will understand too.
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-29-08 11:22 PM
Response to Original message
5. Unless the new job would suffer some harm
that they made you aware of, you owe them nothing. Be polite, and give them proper notice.

This is clearly one of those times when because you are #1, you should act in your best interest.

AND good luck!
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 04:49 AM
Response to Original message
8. Take the better job.
Just tell the first job that you've been offered a great opportunity. Offer to give them two weeks or something, while they look for someone else. (They won't accept, but it's nice). They should either offer more or wish you luck.

If the first employer throws a fit, you know you made the right choice.
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harmonicon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 05:06 AM
Response to Original message
9. take the job that you want
It's not as if there's a shortage of people looking for work these days. Never feel bad for the employer. I've felt bad about quitting jobs before because it would mean more work for my coworkers, but you haven't even started yet, so I wouldn't worry about it.
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NoGOPZone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 12:17 PM
Response to Original message
11. Not unethical to renege
You decided based on your situation at the time of the offer. That situation has changed.
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 01:44 PM
Response to Original message
12. Do what is best for you. They'll understand. It is afterall just business for
them. They are not emotionally invested in you or anything.
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seemunkee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 05:44 PM
Response to Original message
13. It happens a lot, take the job you want
But be professional and call the first company and explain things.
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 08:59 PM
Response to Reply #13
20. You're absolutely right of course n/t
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
14. better offer. corporations wont hesistate to lay you off, you need to look after your best interest
seriously
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #14
18. Don't I know it.
That's why I'm in the market for a new job; layoffs.

It's the standard right to work blah blah on all the employment contracts:

You have the right to leave any time; we have the right to kick you out any time.

But when you find a new job through networking, there's more of an obligation to your friends than to the company. You don't want to put them on the spot; If you end up looking bad, it reflects on them as well.

That's the biggest concern.

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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
15. Better offer. That's what I did. I felt very bad about it, especially because I had a relationship
with the first offer, but the other employer was...aggressive in courting me and they basically made it impossible to refuse.
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 08:59 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. I know, I'm feeling the heat myself
There's a lot of pressure to close the deal.

It is relentless.
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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 09:11 PM
Response to Reply #19
22. I think when you finish it you will feel relieved. The person I had to tell I wasn't
taking the job after we shook on it I still work with, so I went out to lunch with her to let her know. It was really terrible and she was silently angry with me for a long time, which made the working relationship hard. But things are smoothed over. And when i told her why I was taking the other job, when she heard the details, she couldn't REALY blame me for taking it.
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 06:39 PM
Response to Original message
16. Which one will make you happier?
Is one obviously better or more stable than other other? Better working environment? More to your liking? Better coworkers? How about growth? Benefits?
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. It's the commute that's the biggest problem
a quality of life issue. An hour and a half each way, on a good day.

Benefits are standard across the board.

As for growth, it's a crap-shoot; they are all venture capital companies. If they make it, you're in clover. If they don't make it, it's on to the next VC.

The coworkers are great; not a bad one among them.

:hi:
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 11:35 PM
Response to Reply #17
26. Then I'd say go with the closest one
An hour and a half is a long time to spend in the car. Books on tape would help that quite a bit, but still, it's three hours a day away from friend and family, plus wear and tear on the car and the gas. Us liberals are suppose to be concerned about the environment or sumptin'... :-)

I guess it matters less if you're single.

I faced a similar dilemma when my job moved. My commute went from 25 minutes of easy and usually traffic-free highway driving to an hour and a half. I was dropping a hundred bucks a week on gas just in commuting. And when you're working on a factory floor, that's a lot of money. Plus, there was the risk of my beater being put out to pasture sooner than I'd like.

Besides, I was living with two other roommates and wanted my own place. So, rather than quit and find a new place to work, I moved up as close to work as I could. Now my commute is 3 minutes or less! :-)

But it sounds like with the second job, you'll be both making more money and spending less money. I'd tell the first job "hey, I got a better offer that's a lot closer and I think that's the right move for me." Either they'll sweeten the pot or wish you a fond farewell.

Good luck!
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sueragingroz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 09:00 PM
Response to Original message
21. I know that I'm cynical
But chances are, the company that hired you first will throw you under the bus if it comes down to "you or them" at some point in the future.

The days of being loyal to your company for 40 years are long gone.

Give the first job a decent amount of notice (two weeks should be more than enough - if you have already started working) and take the second job.
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 09:21 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. I haven't even started yet
Edited on Sat Mar-01-08 09:21 PM by Xipe Totec
I just accepted the position.

It takes a company about two weeks to set up an office space, buy equipment, set up network access and the like.

You're right about not having any second thoughts on the part of the company; bidness is bidness.

But 80% of jobs today are found through social networking, and even if you land a job, you have to rely on your network to vouch for you.

It's the network you don't want to unravel.

If you disconnect, you're toast.
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
24. Ethical answer:
Tell the first job the truth, that you got another offer for more money and an easier commute. See if they counter. If they do, you have another decision, if they don't, they will surely understand. I know I would. Matter of fact, if I were the first job that made the offer, I'd tell you realistically that you'd be crazy to not take offer #2.
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theredpen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 10:51 AM
Response to Reply #24
31. I agree
Unless the first job has intangible benefits (such as more satisfying) that you haven't mentioned, then I second fivegan's advice.
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-01-08 10:56 PM
Response to Original message
25. Which one is the more secure?
I work as an IC and have an opportunity to mull over more than one proposal at a time. While I accept, in a sense, by saying that I'll review and get back; which I do do, when I have these matters before me, the one that offers security will receive additional consideration.

It may seem cold, or mercenary, but you need to take care of #1 in order to take care of #2, #3, #4, and so on :thumbsup:
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Quantess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 12:46 AM
Response to Original message
27. Yes, follow your heart.
Based on distance / commute time and pay, I would say take the job that's closer and pays better.

I will always, every time, choose the job that's closer / shorter commute. But that's me.
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Wabbajack_ Donating Member (669 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 05:53 AM
Response to Original message
28. No brainer
better offer.

Loyalty to some company you haven't worked for yet who would lay you off too in a heartbeat? Please.
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 09:19 AM
Response to Reply #28
30. It's not about the company.
Edited on Sun Mar-02-08 09:20 AM by Xipe Totec
It's about the social network.

Screw the company, I agree.

Take a look at the follow up posts.

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SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 06:11 AM
Response to Original message
29. Do you think the company would ask this question?
...Hire this guys because we said we would, or hire this new guy who's much better?
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #29
32. True,
Let's forget the company, and look at the people who work there.

It is easy to depersonalize, and think about the company as an entity. That makes this a non-issue.

When you're dealing with a large, 1000+ employee corporation, the individual loses significance.

When you're dealing with a 30 person company, each individual is unique, and the impact of a single person is enormous.

When some of those people are friends, or friends of friends...

Well, you get the picture.

The venture capital world is a world of small groups, where who you are really REALLY matters.






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SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #32
35. Ok, that does put it in a different light...
...If you have emotional attachment to this company, then perhaps you would in fact take the smaller of the two offers. And I know smaller companies are much more selective about who they decide to "allow in" the group, so they've probably spent a great deal of time (or maybe not) in considering their offer to you. It makes your dilemma all the more difficult. In this case, what does your heart tell you to do?
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 03:54 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. Amazing turn of phrase
Greeting in Nahuatl: Tlen Quitoa Moyollo - What does your heart say?

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YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 02:16 PM
Response to Original message
33. I would call the first job offer and tell them the truth.
If they are any kind of people at all, they will understand your desire to be closer to home and the need for more money. Hell if I found a job tomorrow for more money, my boss would fire me if I didn't take it.
Duckie
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-02-08 02:47 PM
Response to Reply #33
34. You are absolutely correct
That's what I'm planning to do first thing Monday.

It is amazing to me.

When I got laid off, I didn't even blink. I smiled, tried to make by boss feel as comfortable as I could about the situation and told her that the decision made sense for the survival of the company. Same thing with the HR director. I've been on the other side of the desk, handing out pink slips, so I know they felt like crap. The last thing I wanted to do, was to make things harder on them.

I felt great about myself, confident that I could find a job faster than I could change socks.

Now that I've interviewed several places, met a bunch of great people, and have to decide on one and only one job, I feel like crap turning down the other companies.

I feel especially bad about the company that I said yes to, and now I have to rescind.

It's not a comfortable feeling.
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