What do you want the first line of your obituary to read?

[graywarrior]

Me: Sat in front of computer and posted on DU 24/7.

(Not really)

[Adsos Letter]

1. "Although he had long suspected its inevitability...

...it still came as somewhat of a shock to 'Adso's Letter' that he had actually died."

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. HE HATED PUBLIC RESTROOMS. n/t

[JVS]

12. How about "I peed in the mud"?

[dropkickpa]

3. Getcher worm food here folks!

[Ava]

4. she came, she saw, and she kicked republican ass.

:P

[graywarrior]

5. That is so you

[Ava]

6. well shouldn't my obituary be me?

:P

[graywarrior]

7. Wisenheimer.

[Ava]

28. That's Ms. Wisenheimer

:P

[graywarrior]

32. Don't forget.....

I'll be only 2 hours away. Be afraid.

[Ava]

35. you're the one that should be afraid

i'm just as crazy as you, but i'm younger.. faster.. stronger. mwah ha ha ha ha :evilgrin:

[graywarrior]

36. Ouuuuuuu.

A young punk, ay?

[Ava]

37. of course

:P

[JVS]

8. SUCK IT!

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. "The man who considered Palpatine to be weak, soft, and merciful, has died this morning

and in accordance with his last wish, born out by his infinite power and infinite hatred of humanity, the universe shall be eliminated in 20 minutes."

[Redstone]

29. That should be "borne out," my friend. You wouldn't want to be remembered for

incorrect spelling even for those twenty minutes, would you?

Redstone

[Rabrrrrrr]

31. I leave out the "e" so that people think it was the newspaper's fault,

and go to their final oblivion wondering, "Would the universe have been eliminated if the paper hadn't made that typo?"

I want people to know their doom was sealed by me, but yet, still have that little nagging doubt that perhaps there was a moment or chance to hope. If they knew the truth of the utter hopelessness of the situation, they would just give in to the inevitable, and wouldn't respond with the proper amount of emotional stress, caught between abject terror/hopeless despair and hope.

[Redstone]

39. Oh, I like the way you think. As always, the beer's on me when the opportunity arises.

Redstone

[taterguy]

10. What the fuck do I care?

I'll be dead, and presumably won't be reading it

[graywarrior]

14. I like that one.

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. Finally.

[graywarrior]

15. With your picture flipping the bird?

[southpaw]

13. Here lies southpaw... and why not?

Wait... that would be the inscription on my grave stone!

See, it's such a fine line between stupid and clever. ;-)

[panhead1961]

16. Hey You - Get off of my mound

[petronius]

17. "After asking his friends to 'hold my beer,' Mr. Petronius vanished in the most epic

combination of landslide, flood, explosion, sinkhole, and building collapse that this reporter has ever witnessed."

Actually, that will be the first line of the page-one-above-the-fold writeup, but it can double as an obit...

[billyskank]

18. He was, like, this dude.

[graywarrior]

34. Dude

[Redstone]

40. "...this dude, who was like..."

Redstone

[BeachBaby]

19. "She's FINALLY had enough."

:)

[ghostsofgiants]

20. "He was not at any point in his life a hippie."

[billyoc]

21. Send more credit cards, SUCKERS!!

:woohoo:

[mr blur]

22. "He's not really dead". (nt)

[Lyric]

23. "Someday to be stardust again." n/t

[deucemagnet]

24. Eccentric billionaire dead at the age of 120. n/t

[Redstone]

25. I've already written pretty much the whole thing:

-------------------------------
(name), of (town), Connecticut passed away at the age of (the age) on (the date).

Mr (name) was born (date), 195(year), in (town), (state), the son of the late (father) and (mother) (last name). He grew up in (small town), Vermont, spent many of his school years in and around (a town in), Pennsylvania, and moved to Connecticut in (a year).

There, he met the love of his life, his wife ((name), (known as (nickname)) to family and friends) in 19(year), and they wed in 19(year), going on to raise his beloved sons (older son's name) and (younger son's name).

He graduated from (school name) high school ((the town where that school is), PA) in 19(year), and followed an inexplicable, but always interesting career path thereafter - including stints as a jeweler, musician, and photographer, interspersed with almost 20 years in the electronic components business. In 19(year), he formed a business-to-business advertising agency, (company name), running the company successfully until his death.

He leaves behind the best family he could have asked for, including his wife and sons, his sister (name) of (town), (state), brother (name) and his wife (name) of (town), PA, and brother (name) of (wherever he is), numerous cousins, aunts and uncles, and nieces and nephews - all of whom he wishes he'd kept in touch with more than he did, and to whom he apologizes for being such a lousy correspondent.

"(other name)," as he referred to himself with his friends and family, valued his family above all, and never lost his passion for music (even after losing the physical ability to play musical instruments), his enjoyment of fast cars (preferably convertibles), or his desire to make at least one person laugh every day.

He was easygoing almost to the point of unconsciousness, kind and charitable to others, and had a great sense of humor.

A Life Celebration will be held at (place) on (date and time), followed by food, drink, and talk. All are invited, and tears will be strongly discouraged.
------------------------

That's the way I've instructed Mrs R and my older son to send it to the newspapers.

Redstone

[Starbucks Anarchist]

26. "He never hated people because of their race, religion, gender or orientation...

He hated them for totally valid reasons."

[MrCoffee]

27. MrCoffee, a tireless campaigner against the shrinkage of Jimmy Dean sausage packages, died today.

[charlie and algernon]

30. First President of the Intergalactic Republic

[Maraya1969]

33. I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK!

[av8rdave]

38. Av8rdave, age 111, passed away peacefully yesterday...

[jus_the_facts]

41. "KISS THIS!!!"

...buried upside down and backwards so everyone can KISS MY ASS!!! :D


:hi:

[rug]

42. "In a final act of revenge, . . . ."

[hedgehog]

43. WHile participating in a 1/4 mile race, this amazing 123 year old tripped.....

[bikebloke]

44. "He wanted a tree, instead of a tombstone..."

"Someone's in trouble now, matey."

[tigereye]

45. hey, it turns out she isn't dead!

:rofl:


either that the funeral was accompanied by a really loud punk band or Joan Jett or something...

[lost-in-nj]

46. Lost in NJ

has died

any one remember her????


:hi:


lost

[Fire Walk With Me]

47. "He's behind you."

[SalmonChantedEvening]

48. "Dance away ya bastids"

:D

[RetroLounge]

49. "Age 123, died having sex with Swedish triplets."

or some variation...

RL

[kentauros]

50. Lather. Rinse. Resurrect.