Today I won Employee of the Year. And I felt like crap doing it.

[WillParkinson]

I went to our Employee of the Year luncheon today. As a vegan I was prepared to not eat since I don't like to make my dietary and life choices impact anyone else (as far as them having to do stuff for me).

I spoke with the HR director this morning before I left for the hotel and she mentioned that they had ordered a vegan lunch for me.

Well when we sat down to eat there was a salad with bleu cheese and a big strip of bacon on it. I politely declined it.

Then came the entree. A plate of vegetables. With grill marks on it. I looked at it and the Food & Beverage director asked me if something was wrong. I said I was wondering how they got the grill marks on the vegetables. So he went to the Chef and whispered to him. The Chef looked at me and said, "It's vegan." I said thank you and asked how he got the grill marks. He said they put them on the hot grill. We cook steaks on it, but it was scraped down."

I just looked and pushed the plate away and said sorry, I can't eat this. Then they started making a big deal out of it trying to get me some fruit or something. I said no thank you, please just let it go.

I felt like an idiot because they went through trouble for me and I refused to eat it. I know that I was right in not eating it, but with everyone at the table staring at me because I wouldn't eat and trying to make it better, I just felt worse.

[DS1]

1. Those veggies probably arrived in the same truck as the meat, too

:cry:

[WillParkinson]

10. Pretty sure they didn't get packed in the same package, though

:-)

[Courtesy Flush]

2. I have to admit, I don't understand.

Don't flame me, but I don't understand why the proximity of your food to a grill where meant USED TO BE is a deal breaker for you. I believe in evolution, and I know that our bodies were evolved to eat a variety of foods.

I was born and raised in South Louisiana, but if someone offered me a non-authentic Cajun meal, I'd politely eat it.

A few animal molecules won't kill you. Trust me. I've lived nearly 50 years on them, and I'm doing fine.

I appreciate your values, but you seem to be using them against people who mean well.

I wouldn't try to talk you out of being a vegan, but at the same time, you're really making too big a deal of it. I'm an Atheist, but I still bow my head when everyone else is praying. It's OK. Lighten up.

[WillParkinson]

6. Lighten up?

I don't eat animals. I do my best to avoid animal products altogether.

When you cook meat on a grill there is build-up. I don't want to eat meat.

I'm not flaming you. But as a vegan for 10 years that means no animal products if I can possibly avoid them.

And I'm not using my choices against anyone. I wasn't expecting to eat anyway. They said the vegan option was already ordered. I don't like to put anyone out for my choices. I'd have been content bringing something from home.

[LeftyMom]

3. Been there.

:hug:

[PassingFair]

4. Vegans need to bring their own food.

Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

My daughter is a vegan, and I would NEVER
expect a friend or organization to go to
all the expense and trouble.

Most people don't even KNOW what being a vegan
entails, as witnessed by your grill mark problems.

She has been served FISH before by people who say,
"What, it's not MEAT, it's vegan"!!

I spend a small fortune at Whole Foods outfitting
her diet once a month, but if she's going somewhere
we haven't been before, I make sure she's got some
baked tofu packed.

[WillParkinson]

7. Bring my own food...

I'm perfectly fine with that. As I said, I don't expect anyone to have to adjust to me. I'd have been happy with a sandwich from home or just not eating. The HR director is the one who insisted.

[PassingFair]

24. If you had brought something, they wouldn't have felt obliged to scout out fruit, etc.

Believe me, when other families have us over
for dinner, they are NOT comfortable if my
daughter sits there and eats nothing.

Ignore me completely if you brought food
to this particular event.

:)

I have NO problem with veganism, I just
know what a pain it can be accommodating for
my kid's choices within a meat-eating
family and she sometimes experiences ACTUAL
hostility from some people because of it.

:crazy:

[WillParkinson]

26. I did not bring anything to this event...

I told the HR director that I'd be happy to bring something and was told not to bring it as the vegan option was already ordered.

Next meeting I'll bring my own stuff guaranteed.

[siligut]

5. Don't feel bad, no one wants you to feel bad.

You have every right to keep within your dietary preferences. I think people were just surprised how steadfast you were. Most people just don’t realize how committed people can be. I am only vegetarian, but only buy humane certified eggs and dairy. Oh and congratulations on winning Employee of the Year!

[WillParkinson]

9. Thank you...

The HR director spoke with me after the event and I apologized to her because I didn't want anyone to feel bad. She said that I shouldn't feel bad about it. But Will always feels guilty, especially when someone made an effort on his behalf.

[Fleshdancer]

8. I think you're being awfully hard on yourself Will.

The point was to celebrate YOU and YOUR achievements. As someone who coordinates corporate events for a living, I'm appalled that you had bacon on your salad. I should give the benefit of doubt on the whole "scrubbing the grill down" concept, but I'm having a hard time not getting annoyed at that too.

When you work with food or when you coordinate events that are catered, you run into situations like this all the time. Whether the dietary restrictions are due to ethics, allergies, diabetes, or religion, it's your job to be prepared to make sure all attendees are taken care of. If an attendee feels like a burden, then you haven't done your job right.

Please don't feel bad over this.

[WillParkinson]

12. I'm a room service server...

I try to always be mindful of food options when people eat. We have a grilled portobello sandwich on our menu and if a person orders it I always ask if it's for a vegetarian and then explain to them that it's cooked on a grill where we cook meat.

And the concept of scrubbing the grill down just means a wire brush scraped across the surface of the grill, it's not like a frying pan where it's washed with soap and water.

[Fleshdancer]

17. well hopefully you gave the chef enough "food for thought" so to speak

It's a shame they didn't think it through and either steam or lightly sautee the vegetables intead.

[suninvited]

11. okay, I get the error about them not understanding that you

dont serve a vegan vegetables cooked on top of where meat was just cooked, but a strip of BACON on your salad?
:wtf:

[WillParkinson]

13. Heh.

I wondered about that one, too. Fairly certain it wasn't veggie bacon.

[KitchenWitch]

15. Not to mention the bleu cheese dressing...

:wtf:

Even I, an omnivore know that cheese is an animal product.

[LeftyMom]

16. You'd be amazed the things people who should know better will try to feed a vegan.

I think I've posted about the time my mother called and asked me if Miracle Whip was vegan.

She was going to make me a tuna sandwich. And she got so wrapped up in trying to find out if Miracle Whip is vegan, she didn't stop to think about the whole tuna=flesh of an animal thing.

And I'd been vegan almost six years when this happened, so there really wasn't any excuse, except that omnivores really aren't used to thinking about these things.

[WillParkinson]

20. And I understand that...

Hence the reason I make no requests at these types of functions. I don't like putting people out.

Next week we have an all-day training class and I'll be brown-bagging it even though lunch is included.

[LeftyMom]

22. Yeah, I always at least bring myself a luna bar or something.

The funny (in a sad way thing) is that I was at an AR conference this summer, all the food was supposed to be vegan and the catering people fucked up and served non-vegan food at that. They had creamy dressings and a giant bowl of shredded cheese, at least, and neither were faux. Maybe more too, I wasn't staying for the dinner, I had demos to go do. ;)

[ghostsofgiants]

39. Bahaha, I'm sorry but that is funny.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

14. I Would've Been Quite Embarrassed If I Was You Too.

Holy talk about taking things too far...

[WillParkinson]

18. Yeah....you're right....

Let me just scarf down on animal products and throw away 10 years of veganism just because they made something I choose not to eat.

I don't eat animals. I have a house with 4 cats and 3 dogs. I wouldn't eat any of them and I choose not to eat any other animal.

Silly me.

[insanity]

21. I'd eat your cats for you

But only if you fry them on a grill that has been cleaned of any vegetable residue.

[TroglodyteScholar]

47. I think the concept that's hard to understand is...

...the way you consider grill marks to be an animal product. The bleu cheese & bacon were no-brainers, of course, and I'm not trying to be offensive...but that is by far the pickiest vegan behavior I've ever heard of.

[LeftyMom]

19. Holy crap.

I'm dying laughing here.

[flvegan]

23. 10 years of veganism? Not only is it his right and fucking choice

but also a small bit of meat CAN in some cases make a long term vegan very ill.

Shame you're against someone's right make certain choices.

[Midlodemocrat]

50. Not knowing the particulars of the digestive systems of folks

who have chosen not to eat certain foods, I DO know that when I used to take students into the Bowery to give sandwiches to the homeless there, it had to be bare bones. Bologna, peanut butter, turkey, etc. No condiments, no extras.

And we also gave them apples.

Obviously, this is not in anyway to compare vegans to individuals who had addiction problems living on the streets, it's simply an observation of different digestive systems and how introducing 'foreign' foods can definitely be problematic. I know when I developed gall bladder problems after having TM, any and all fats caused unbearable pain. I soon learned that fat free was a great thing.

The body is an amazing thing. Frankly, given the crap we put in our bodies (most of us) it's a miracle we're still alive.

[Missy Vixen]

55. You know what?

I wish I could cc some other people on this thread with my response, but maybe I'll just send them a PM.

I had a discussion with LeftyMom over veganism a couple of years ago. I disagreed with her. At the same time, I see her point, and I appreciate her explanation. Vegans have every right to ask that the food they're eating not be prepared on a surface meat is cooked on, served a dish that meat is tossed onto, animal products are used in construction of the dish, etcetera. It's not just the meat. I can't imagine how someone who hasn't eaten meat in years wouldn't be ill if they ate it again, even trace amounts.

The OP was polite, friendly, and went out of his way to explain that the people hosting him didn't need to make a special effort.

In the meantime, congratulations to the OP on his award, and he didn't do anything wrong.

Julie

[leftofthedial]

25. They had probably served big, juicy delicious cheeseburgers on the same plate too

It's good that you refused to eat.

[4_Legs_Good]

27. What is it with people's inability to accept that someone would just as soon not eat?

It's bizarre. I go through the same thing regularly. You'd think that they'd understand that someone who's been a vegan for 10 years kinda knows how to cope in a public food setting. It's not like you're going to starve if you miss one meal.

Oh no! Get that person some fruit or s/he won't make it through the hour!!!

It's weird.

David

[mnhtnbb]

28. Whatever happened to politely accepting what's served and pushing it around on the plate?

[Midlodemocrat]

29. I'm curious. And, I'm not judging.

LeftyMom visited me not that long ago. I have the 'Freeper Grill' that you might have heard me take a ton of abuse for from the animals in the lounge. :eyes:

We eat meat. I eat mostly fish and chicken, but have been known to cook meat for the family.

If I had scraped down my grill and washed the beef residue off it, does that make it okay for a vegan to eat from?

I am sincere. I didn't want to upset LM and belittle her choice, and I DID have some hummus on hand, but I am woefully uneducated about becoming a vegan.


How could I have made the grill vegan friendly?

[flvegan]

31. Depends on the vegan and on the grill.

Having cleaned a commercial grill myself for a year or so, I will exceedingly rarely eat off a commercial grill.

[Midlodemocrat]

32. thanks for answering. What if you visited me and supervised

the cleaning of the grill? We clean the grill by scraping frequently and several times a year by washing in hot water/soap.

LM was unbelievably gracious with my stupidity, but seeing as how I adore her (and you) I am really struggling to learn how not to offend.

:hug:

[LeftyMom]

34. Foil works fine for a grill/food barrier, IMO.

You're a great hostess. :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

36. No, you are a great friend.

[flvegan]

35. Considering that I know you'd do your best

in scraping the grill, I'd not need to even look at it. Honestly, a good chef in a restaurant when hearing "vegan" will grill on foil and not the grill. The markings aren't that important.

[Midlodemocrat]

38. Never thought of foil.

:thumbsup:

[Missy Vixen]

56. Midlo, this is good

I just learned something, too. If we ever have anyone over that's vegan, foil on the grill is a good thing.

Thank you. :hug:
Julie

[Midlodemocrat]

42. But is 'intent' good enough?

If you visited me, I would try to make you comfortable in your surroundings. LM wasn't here all that long to my chagrin, (although the midlets LOVED her)

and I would hate for someone who had chosen a different nutrition path to be uncomfortable.

[flvegan]

44. Absolutely.

Most of us are used to it. It's a HUGE difference in lifestyle. It's very, very tough for an omnivore to switch gears for one person for a week or two, especially if they have 4 other omnis usually counting on them.

It's different when you're paying for it, though. I'd be upset if I were at an animal rights conference, and the hotel gave me a down pillow if they'd been told up front. However, if I was staying at your house, I'm not going to check the pillows and gasp and cry if you have silk on your drapes. I wouldn't freak over a leather couch or if you bought your dog from a breeder. Nobody should try to change their lifestyle to fit my visit.

[Midlodemocrat]

30. And, BTW. Congratulations on a wonderful honor.

[DU GrovelBot]

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[Midlodemocrat]

37. Sweet Zombie Jesus, it's back. It SIMPLY CAN'T BE KILLED.

[Shakespeare]

46. And he just has NO sense of what's socially appropriate.

Always barging in at the wrong moment...it's always all about him... :eyes:

[ghostsofgiants]

40. That kinda sucks, but congrats on being employee of the year.

I can kind of relate. I'm not vegan or even vegetarian, but I am straight edge, so I won't eat or drink anything that's come into contact with any booze. My mom once barbecued me a steak that she had marinated in beer and forgot to mention the beer, and as I put it in my mouth was like "Oh, dude wait, that was marinated in beer!" Mom had no idea why it was such a big deal.

[Midlodemocrat]

43. Again, a question not intended to offend.

Is it not okay to use alcohol in cooking? Some recipes call for alcohol that for the most part, based on length of time cooking would burn off the alcohol.

So, again. curious.

[ghostsofgiants]

48. The alcohol doesn't actually completely burn off as per common belief.

And you, offend? Pfftt! :P

[Midlodemocrat]

51. Okay, so you are 'straight edge' and that means that

the alcohol itself is not something you wish to have? Right?

I thought the straight edge movement had more to do with the whole 'partying' scene. In that you wouldn't go out partying, but that cooking, etc. wasn't an issue.

And, personally, I think straight edge is awesome and I applaud your choice. Seriously. Marry TM will ya?

[ghostsofgiants]

52. Haha, well I suppose it depends on the straight edger.

I prefer to avoid all alcohol, just as a matter of personal consistency. It's like if someone offered me a beer in a casual setting, like visiting family at Christmas as often happens, it's not getting drunk or partying, so I decline. Cooking with alcohol isn't the same as that obviously, but I just consider it a lower degree of the same thing.

[Midlodemocrat]

53. Okay, cool. Got it.

[flvegan]

45. That's a great analogy.

[ghostsofgiants]

49. Indeed.

Also, it was my brother who warned me. My mom wouldn't say "Oh dude" haha.

[skygazer]

41. It is unfortunate that people don't or won't take the time to educate themselves about a common

dietary choice. It's not like veganism is all that uncommon. I eat meat myself but I belong to a teaching team that includes a couple of vegetarians and a vegan. We all take turns bringing food and we all make sure our meals are suitable for everyone. It's not that difficult.

Don't feel bad or like an idiot. The HR director and whoever prepared the meal are the ones who should feel foolish. And congrats.

[Orsino]

54. I admire veganism.

I am cutting way back on meat, but if it's prepared for me in error, I want to be sure it isn't just thrown away. If I can stomach it at all, I think it incumbent on me to ensure it isn't wasted.

Different strokes.

[Rabrrrrrr]

57. Yes, well, that was unfortunate all the way around. Still, congratulations on the award!

Sorry it happened in uncomfortable circumstances, though.

And there's a certain coolness that they DID want to make the meal right by you.

Ten years ago, they probably wouldn't even bothered at all.