How much is this baby faced mug of mine hurting me in the dating scene?

[Droopy]

I almost exclusively send e-mail to women 30-40 years old on the dating site I go to. A few have responded, but I think I write 50 e-mails for every 30-something woman that responds. Feels that way anyway. I rarely e-mail someone under 30, but when I do I have a much higher rate of success. We're talking 3 for 3. Right now I'm talking to someone who is 27 and I'm hoping to get a date with her this weekend. It says in my profile that I'm 36 and that is the truth.

A lot of people think that looking young is enviable. As some people age they spend thousands of dollars trying to stay young looking. It sucks for me. People treat me like a kid. Women my age aren't attracted to me. The question about me that people ask the most is, "How old are you?" usually right after I open my mouth and start speaking 36 year-old-ese. After one such encounter a guy told me that if he had a face like mine he'd grow a beard. He's lucky I'm a nice guy. And, besides, I have a really light beard and it actually makes me look even younger when I grow it out. I just don't get any respect.

People make all kinds of judgments based on your appearance. It might just be human nature, I guess.

[Chan790]

1. Yeah, I'd have guessed based on the pic that you're 26ish.

If it makes you feel better, you're not the only one. One of our fellow Loungers a few months ago thought I was somewhere around 22. I'll be 30 in December.

I say go with it...you seem younger than 36 anyways. You're a young 36 in any case, you're only as old as you act and seem. If I can pass for 22 and you can pass for 27, why not? :shrug: Age is just a number.

[zanne]

2. Are you fishing for compliments?

Well, it worked. You're an attractive guy who should have absolutely no problem finding women, young or otherwise. (This is your mother talking).

[Droopy]

3. Thanks mom :)

No, not fishing for compliments. I'm looking for a long term relationship on the dating site and I'd like to be able to hook up with someone who isn't ten years behind me as far as maturity goes.

[TZ]

4. Thats you! Wow.

Hell *I* would have absolutely NO PROBLEM going out with you Droopy! I likes em young anyway..;)
Any woman who refuses to go out with you on the basis of a baby face is a fool..Shame I don't live nearer...:loveya:

[Droopy]

8. Thanks TZ

It's the only explanation I can think of. You know how I write. I'm friendly and a good guy. I should have found a nice woman by now. I'm literally running out of women my age to write to in my area. I live near Dayton and I'm starting to e-mail women who are 50 miles away.

[limit18]

5. Your face is not hurting you

what's hurting you is sitting in that chair.Now get up and start chasing!:party:

[snooper2]

6. A new haircut can do wonders

:)

[Droopy]

11. I made a vow not to cut my hair when I went on a diet recently

Kind of a reverse Buddhist thing. I shaved my head for a long time. It looks much better now.

[mopinko]

15. yeah, like a flat top

or a buzz. something that looks like you have been in and out of the military. some tattoos, maybe.
maybe not a full beard, but like a foo manchu or something.

[Wapsie B]

7. Grow a beard?

What did he have, one of those chiseled faces that makes women swoon? He's full of shit. At 36 you are able to have the older guy/younger woman thing going on. Good luck to you.

[DS1]

9. I simply post with some Wesley Willis

it's ruder than needs in this case, but one cannot hold down the power of the Wesley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roxMH07qHmc

[Droopy]

17. I look better with my current 'do

I had short hair for a long time. I don't do short hair very good.

[badgerpup]

26. Some guys do look better with longer hair...

My ex-BF did...had very large, bold features. Good-looking guy, but a short cut made him look like a peeled onion.
Believe it or not, best cut for him was a modified "Prince Valiant"...layered rather than bangs, and a bit above shoulder length.

Think you're rather worth a second look ;)
Bet you've got quite the smile...

[supernova]

10. You look fine, Droopy

You are a nice looking young man. There is nothing wrong with you, except a smile is always welcome. ;-)

I'd date you. :thumbsup:

[Sanity Claws]

12. Suggestions to change the impression

First, wear more formal clothes. A faded tshirt says "kid."
Second, don't sit in that chair when the photo is taken. The chair looks like something that belongs to mom or grandmom. It makes you look like you live with your parents. Not a good image to project on the singles scene, particularly with the age group you are interested in. I understand you are a truck driver. How about standing in front of your rig? Or maybe going to a friend's house, someplace which is decorated in more modern style, for the photo?
Third, smile in your photo. I think the expressionless face projects a lack of worldly experience, i.e."kid."
Of course, these are just my opinions. If you decide to try them, let me know if you get a different response.
Happy courting to you, darlin'!

[Droopy]

18. I have smilie pics up on the dating site including one of me standing

The pics were taken at my mother's house as I have no one here to take pics of me. Can't do the rig thing because of the company logo.

[Sanity Claws]

21. If you have a digital, you can take your own photo

Try playing with it and have fun.
If you can't do that, you have many friends here and travel a lot in your rig. Can you arrange to meet someone from DU and have that person take a photo of you? You could have fun finding a good location with your DU friend.
I'm in NYC and would volunteer to take a photo, if you come up here.

[Droopy]

23. I don't leave Ohio now days, but I appreciate the offer.

[Sanity Claws]

25. Ask your mom to take another photo

but have it taken outside, maybe next to a tree or petting a big dog.
Good luck to you.

[ogneopasno]

19. +1

All of this, so true. And the stuff peeking out of the closet or entryway in the background, not a good sign.

[MilesColtrane]

13. .

edited because I suck

[begin_within]

14. It would be better to smile,

but it has to be a real smile. Have someone take pictures of you when you're laughing. Watch something that makes you laugh and have someone take pictures of you then. A smiling, laughing face immediately communicates a good feeling.

[Schema Thing]

16. You are baby-faced for sure

but I can't help but think women would give you a chance if they met you. I think the problem is that you don't just look 10 years younger, you look almost 20 years younger, at least in that pic.



I'm a photographer. If I was in your area, I'd do some pics of you that would make you look older.

Since I'm not in your area, why not go out with a friend and a camera and just take a thousand pics, with the goal of "aging" you thru light/angles/propping?

Also, you could go for an older looking hair cut.


All that aside... do people's personalities really change *that* much between 27 and 30?

[Droopy]

20. Yeah, I have a pic of me taken when I was 19. I look exactly the same

I'll see about taking more pics.

I've noticed a big difference when talking to someone who is 35 versus 27. When I'm talking to the 27 year old I feel more like an older mentor than a potential boyfriend, but I haven't talked to her in person yet so that might change a lot.

[Lil Missy]

22. Don't grow a beard. I think you're adorable the way you are.

No need to change yourself for anyone. Just be yourself.

[hippywife]

24. Your picture is just fine.

I wouldn't change anything. While sometimes looks can pose something of an initial impression, people who judge solely on appearance, aren't worth the time anyway.

:hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

27. Honestly? I think you're beyond handsome. And, I have impeccable taste in men.

[DevonRex]

28. You're very handsome. Just take a pic with a button down shirt on

and maybe even a sport coat over it. The length of your hair is good. Just tame it a bit more for the pic so that it looks more professional.

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. Smile, wear a collared shirt, sit up straight, and shoot in a 3/4 profile

with a neutral background.

I think women might be looking at you going "He has a nice face and amazing eyes, but there's no smile, and he slumps. And wears a t-shirt in a photo that's supposed to help him get dates."