What do you do when..

[supernova]

the person you are dating is nice enough.. but there's just no attraction there?

I started seeing this person three weeks ago, and he's very nice. And smart, three degrees. And it's making me sorta wonder what's wrong with me that I'm just not that turned on by him.

edit: it took me a couple of times to figure out I just wasn't attracted. It's not something I knew, didn't know right away.

[Lil Missy]

1. Just turn him down politely and move on.

Don't be mean about it.

[TZ]

2. As Lil Missy said..

You need to move on..the longer you string it out the worse it will be for both of you.

[redqueen]

3. Stop dating them.

It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you... the chemistry just isn't right, that's all.

[BarenakedLady]

4. Whatever you do...

DON'T marry him and have children.

I speak from experience here. You can't make yourself be attracted to someone if it isn't there.

[Drunken Irishman]

6. See, I can't even have sex with someone I'm not attracted to and I've tried.

I'm limper than a wet noodle if there is no attraction.

[geardaddy]

7. Ladies and Gentleman!

The TMI Dancers!

[supernova]

10. You two are cracking me up!

:D

[KitchenWitch]

13. !!!

:spray:

[BarenakedLady]

12. Thanks for the visual...

x(



















:rofl:

[Maraya1969]

20. And BarenakedLady is not a visual?

:hi:

[Drunken Irishman]

5. WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO AIR OUR DIRTY LAUNDRY OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS?

[supernova]

8. LMAO!!

:D

You've never said you love me!!

[Lil Missy]

11. Whew! I thought it was me.

But I forgot, she did say it was a guy. Whew!

[geardaddy]

9. Dump him hard.

That'll show him. ;)

Seriously, that's a toughie. If there's no attraction, there's no attraction.

[rrneck]

14. If it ain't fun, don't do it. nt

[kimmerspixelated]

18. Psst!

I like your little duck-kitty thing! Where did it come from??

[rrneck]

19. Thanks. It is from a very old

weird news site, and unfortunately I can't remember the name. It went away a long time ago, and the image has been floating around on my hard drive ever since.

The original title of the image was Satan, but I don't see the resemblance.

[jobycom]

15. Depends.

First, ask yourself if this happens all the time with you, or if this is just a rare case.

If it's a rare case, and you usually don't find yourself feeling this about most people you date for a few weeks, then you need to move erly rather than later. Although, it still might be worth a talk with him. He might have other dimensions you'd like more, but that you haven't found yet, so you might find more attraction if you have a heart-to-heart and break through the rut. Or, maybe not. Either way, put it on the line and end it or ramp it up. Life's too short, and it won't get easier if you linger.

If you find this is always happening to you, then one of two things. Either you are setting your expectations up wrong, or you are choosing the wrong people to date. Analyze yourself. When did it go flat? What caused you to get bored? Crap like that. If it's your expectations, lighten up, learn to have fun. If it's that you don't really like the kinds of guys you go out with, dump the bore and find someone completely different. Some people think they want a certain type, but they're really just choosing the type they think they should want, not the type they really want.

That's all I got. :)

[supernova]

17. Well, it is an accomplishment

for me to just choose non jerks at this point. So, I think I'm good there.

[Fleshdancer]

16. hard to say....

I've never been in that situation, but I have heard of people becoming sexually attracted to their partner over time instead of experiencing instant attraction. Attraction is just one of the pieces to the puzzle of compatibility and even if you start a relationship being attracted to the person, it doesn't mean you will always be attracted to him/her.

If there are far more pros than cons to dating him, then maybe you could give the relationship 3 more weeks to see where it goes. If you just know it won't work out, then the best thing to do would be to break it off now when the relationship is still young.

Regardless, there's nothing wrong with you. Attraction is actually somewhat complicated. Pheromones are involved which you can't control and a person's accomplishments may demand your respect, but lust doesn't care.