I had a dream last night in which I learned the secret to permanent happiness.

[InternalDialogue]

The solution was complicated and confusing to me at first, but I eventually learned and understood it. Its main components were food chemistry and advanced math. I realized that I had a masterful grasp of the concept and that I could write a book to share the secret with the entire world.

When I woke up, I remembered no details whatsoever of the secret.

Fuck.

[ogneopasno]

1. I once dreamed

that Uncle Tupelo had gotten back together but were still fighting and they gave a concert where they channeled their rage at each other into the music. It was the best show I've never been to.

[InternalDialogue]

2. They probably gave that concert in real life at some point.

Imagine if you'd dreamed it before it happened.

[lizziegrace]

3. Sounds like an "Good Eats" episode

;)

[InternalDialogue]

6. Yeah, Alton Brown makes biscuits and explains the mysteries of the universe.

I don't know -- I don't trust that guy any farther than I can throw his thinning, spiky hair.

[jobycom]

9. Don't trust him how? Like, you think he's going to swindle your bank account info?

Or you don't think he can really make biscuits in a cast iron dutch oven with briquettes?

[InternalDialogue]

10. He's one step removed from Vince the Sham-Wow guy.

I smell pretension from him like I would smell burned, spiky hair.

[jobycom]

11. Is there anyone on TV that doesn't smell like that?

[InternalDialogue]

12. Andrew Zimmern

But I blame only the lack of hair.

[jobycom]

13. Ooo, I hate him.

I mean hate in a TV sense, not in a real sense. He's like the gross-out kid in junior high who eats bugs and frogs to get attention. Being a vegetarian and watching him is bad enough, but I watched him eat the beating heart of a frog they skinned on camera once, and never watched again. I draw the line at live animal mutilations.

[jobycom]

4. Most of us already know that secret.

We can't tell you, though. We have to draw the line somewhere. Sorry.

[InternalDialogue]

5. Dammit! I was all the way there in the dream.

You're alienating me because I woke up? Excuuuuuse me!

Again: Fuck!

[jobycom]

7. Well, do like the rest of us.

Don't wake up. :)

[InternalDialogue]

8. Aaah.

;-)







There it is...