I need helpful suggestions. A student in my class is over cleavaged every day.

[Bucky]

She's a good student, but a bit of a Bambi. But most days she's wearing clothes that, while technically within dress code, leaves quite a bit of skin showing--especially how she leans forward at her desk. I swear to God I try like hell not to gape. The thing is, she's clearly making an effort to close up the cleavage because she often wears a safety pin on her shirt that closes up the cleavage of her shirts by a few inches--but it's still too deep!

I don't want to spend my 3rd periods worrying about not looking at 16 year old cleavage, but I don't want to embarrass her or me by pointing out that her efforts to be modest (if they're even her efforts) are simply not working.

Dear Ann Landers, what the hell should I do?!

[MrCoffee]

1. Someone needs a spiffy new cardigan.

[Shell Beau]

2. If it is within dress code, what can you do?

:shrug:

[guitar man]

3. this thread is useless without pics

:silly:

[Bucky]

15. sigh

now please give me that advice

[guitar man]

61. a good pair of shades?

:shrug: :evilgrin:

[surrealAmerican]

4. What exactly is the dress code?

If it has some vague wording about clothing that might be distracting, you could warn her about that.

[crispini]

5. I would get a FEMALE teacher that you know and trust

and is diplomatic and well liked by the students, to take her aside. If you, a guy, try to say anything it's just not going to go well at all.

[HopeHoops]

6. That is EXACTLY what I was going to suggest!!!

I like that you added "and is diplomatic and well liked" - I hadn't thought of that but it is probably essential. A male teacher should NEVER EVER EVER directly address such a situation in today's climate!

[ashling]

124. Is that on account of teh global warming?

A male teacher should NEVER EVER EVER directly address such a situation in today's climate!♠

:shrug:

[Maine-ah]

8. that's what I was going to say...

:hi:

[sarge43]

57. Second that

No male should enter this mine field.

[hippywife]

66. I'll endorse this approach, as well.

Get yourself away from the situation poste haste!

[erinlough]

111. I'm a 57 year old teacher

who often talks to the girls when their dress or behavior is uncomfortable for male teachers who ask for my help. I think the fact that most of them see me as a grandmother figure (even though I don't myself) makes it more effective. I also don't mince words with the girls and explain that their bodies are changing and they may not know that what was "cute" in sixth grade is different in 8th grade. I have never had any problems doing that, but I have a strong relationship with the students so they are more comfortable with me.

[erinlough]

112. delete, repeat response

[RadiationTherapy]

7. Say nothing. Do nothing. There is no way this can work out well for you.

Ignore it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

20. strongly second this. also not fair to embarrass her because of your issues

[NashVegas]

27. 3rded

See my post below.

[RadiationTherapy]

36. Yes! Your second sentence is what I meant. Thanks.

[rcrush]

101. Agree'd this can only end badly.

RUN

[Swede]

9. What a sticky situation. That would truly embarrass me,too.

Good luck with it.

[RadiationTherapy]

12. It would embarrass you? How?

[Swede]

19. You might enjoy the situation,but it would be as uncomfortible for me as the OP.

[Name removed]

37. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[RadiationTherapy]

68. To clarify my deleted post: I'm a fucking grown up - I would not "enjoy" ogling a 16 yr old.

[Bucky]

29. It's that "in loco parentis" thing

We're supposed to look out for these kids, but you never really know where the parents draw their lines.
I kinda get the sense that there's some poverty issues behind the wardrobe. It's awkward on several levels.

[RadiationTherapy]

38. There is no physical aspect of their body that a teen isn't completely aware of;

obsessively so. Whatever the reason, she knows how she is dressed.

[siligut]

58. This was my first thought, poverty issues.

She has developed out of her pre-puberty clothes. Even if a nice female teacher or nurse spoke with her, she is going to feel embarrassed and quite possibly ashamed. Difficult situation you are in.

[HopeHoops]

10. This reminds me of a line from "Made In America"

"You can go ahead and flaunt your funbags, but I just got one thing to say. Funbag flauntin' ONLY leads to trouble!"

[madrchsod]

11. i suggest you talk to a higher authority....

my friend was propositioned by a 17 yr old hottie for an a in the class. he went directly to the office.

to bad the girl did`t know he was gay...

[LynneSin]

13. I would discuss this with a female teacher or school nurse

someone who might be able to discuss this with the girl and avoid getting you into any hot water

[Bucky]

17. I thought about that. I've done that before. Sadly, it did not work out well

I did that with another cleavage-blessed child of mine earlier this semester. The coworker I asked for help went to the girl and said, "Mr Bucky asked me to talk to you about your cleavage" (or words to that effect). It worked, of course, but it was damn awkward and Ms Discretion and I aren't exactly on the best of terms now.

At this point I just don't want to get the reputation as the 40 year old dude who notices teeny boppers.

[RadiationTherapy]

39. Twice!? Have you considered not caring at all? This is weird now.

[Schema Thing]

44. You can't stop noticing, but I'd sure recommend you stop sharing

the noticing with other people.

Women don't have to stop being sexual beings for men to start treating them appropriately for the situation. And unless these girls have crossed waaaay over the line in terms of showing off their mctatas, the situation doesn't warrant you talking about them with people, imo.


In case you missed it, these girls have seen cleavage put on an alter everyday of their lives. You really expect them to not show it off a little when they finally get some of their own?

[Shell Beau]

45. He hasn't shared her name or anything.

[Schema Thing]

46. no, not here. but I mean even with other teachers

[AwakeAtLast]

21. I agree about the school nurse

:thumbsup:

[Bucky]

23. If we had a school nurse who did her job well, I'd agree

[Dappleganger]

54. No, if she's within dress code limits she isn't the one with the problem.

The problem is with a teacher who's thinking with the wrong head and blaming it on the student instead.

[skooooo]

14. Ask a female coworker to address it..

You're in a no win situation if you approach this issue yourself. You need a female authority figure to address it so that there is no clue that you were the one to bring git up.

[vard28]

16. Here at the middle school

We send all wardrobe malfunctions/issues to the guidance department. That way no one can accuse us of talking inappropriately to a student about clothing issues, male or female.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. well you shouldnt attempt to control her clothes. you should attempt to get a grip on yourself

if she is within the dress code, its not her problem, its your problem

i strongly suggest growing up

[Bucky]

22. I roll my eyes at thee

Some of us take that "it takes a village" business seriously. But I commend you on your effective use of patronizing judgmental language.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

24. roll your eyes all you want. i am not the one distracted by a 16 year olds boobs. nt

[Bucky]

33. Maybe it's my fault

Maybe I should have specified that I only wanted grown-up feedback in this thread.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

34. very grown up of you to be in this situation apparantly repeatedly. nt

[BurtWorm]

56. I hope by "grown up feedback" you don't mean just from people who agree with you

that the girl is the one with the problem. You're aware that it's you who has the problem, right?

[Runcible Spoon]

106. !

:rofl: :thumbsup:

As one who was well-endowed as a 16 year old and leered at by my creepy teachers, I sincerely appreciate your comments here.

Ughh. I can still remember being asked to stay after class by one particularly lecherous skeeze to "talk", since it seemed like I "needed a friend". :puke: Riiiiight.

[Djinn]

144. you're gonna claim OTHER people are judgemental

when you think it's any of your business what a student wears?

maybe the student in question doesn't share your (admittedly widely held in the US) puritancial views of her body?

I had a male teacher in school who wore VERY short shorts, he also used to sit with one leg cocked on a chair with predictable results, strangely every single one of us managed to simply look at his face not constantly check out his groin to make sure it was really still on show.

Maybe you could try it.

[amyrose2712]

55. Control yourself. Period.

[PassingFair]

67. "get a grip on yourself"

...sounds like he's too busy fantasizing
about getting a grip on HER.

[Critters2]

88. Apparently it's the week for Critters2 to agree with Priyanka,

cuz I'm doin' it again!! You're right a lot, Lioness!

This reminds me of a male clergy jerk who once complained to me about the low-cut wedding gowns brides were wearing, and how he found them distracting when he was trying to officiate. I told him that, if couldn't keep his mind on what he was doing during a worship service, the problem was his, not the brides'.

Same applies here. Men need to learn to think with the head between their shoulders. Why is that so hard?

[madinmaryland]

114. "Why is that so hard?" is your answer. Just saying. A little common

sense from both sides is needed.

[Zuiderelle]

133. +1

[LiberalFighter]

25. Have the school provide skin paint so she don't look as exposed.

[Bucky]

30. Thanks

ya goofball

[NashVegas]

26. Relax and Enjoy The Show

The guilt'll kill ya otherwise.

[flvegan]

28. If it's within the dress code, I'd do nothing.

I sure as hell wouldn't be looking at it/her/them either. At 16, just looking is a world of trouble for a teacher.

[Midlodemocrat]

32. +1

[NJmaverick]

35. +1

Just have to excercise a little self discipline

[MrScorpio]

31. Is there a female official that you can have talk to her? nt

[applegrove]

40. Cleavage is in. I noticed that 3 years ago when working at an airport.

[JVS]

41. Wear shades.

[tigereye]

140. hey JVS, that restaurant is going like gang-busters!

we are planning to go with a German friend soon.


sorry, off topic.

[newcriminal]

42. Sorry Bucky,

but I see this as your problem not hers. If she is within the school dress code, I would definitely keep this to yourself.

[Steven_S]

43. Ignore it

If you say anything to anybody it means that you're looking at them. Telling another teacher didn't work last time, and it probably wouldn't work this time. And don't get caught looking at them either. Some people love to catch you looking.

[Demoiselle]

71. Yes. Ignore it....

If you are STANDING at your desk for most of your class, and she is sitting, you are already in a position to peer down her shirt more easily than those who are at the same level with her. The observation that she attempts, with safety pins, to close up (as it were) the cleavage says to me that she is aware, and trying to be modest. And, by the way...SO WHAT! You have a female student who HAS BREASTS!!!! WOW. GET OVER IT!!! What, do you think she's sending you seductive messages? What possible good do you do for anyone by making an issue of it?

[jobycom]

47. Work on your own self control. If it's a serious problem, she'll be told sooner or later.

But here's the thing. Upthread you say this has been an issue with you before. Whether that's because of your own issues or legitimate concern for the student, it will still give you the reputation you don't want if you mention this to someone else. Work on self-control and not staring.

You remember from student days that word gets around, and teachers get a reputation. If you are struggling with not staring, they are already gossiping about you. For your own sake, make a stronger effort to not stare. Not saying you've done anything wrong, just saying you're setting yourself up for accusations and rumors you don't want, right or wrong. You don't live down that reputation. Don't bring it up to anyone. Don't give anyone fuel.

[rug]

48. How short is her skirt?

[DemBones DemBones]

49. Now stop that!

:rofl:

[BurtWorm]

50. I agree with the majority in this thread: don't worry about this girl's clothes.

It's not your place. This is not Afghanistan under the Taliban. Worry more about why you're worrying about this. That you can (and should) control.

[Deep13]

51. This subject goes to the top of the list of things...

...that I won't touch with a ten-foot pole.
:hide:

[Dappleganger]

52. You should just concentrate on doing your damn job

She's farkin' 16 years old, for chrissakes. If you looked at her head and talked to the brain this wouldn't be an issue.

BTW, I have a 17 yr. old daughter who was 'blessed' with a big cleavage since 8th grade and it's very difficult to find age-appropriate clothes for her. She is constantly readjusting herself and she is already self-conscience about it as it is. Having a teacher say something when she's well within the dress code could be quite harmful to her self-esteem.

You need to get over big busts--they're not going away just because you have self-control issues w/your eyes.

[DemBones DemBones]

53. Bucky, if it bothers you when she leans forward, move her

to the back of the classroom. Rearrange seating and be sure to put her where your eyes will not be tempted by her cleavage. Put a big football player in front of her. And work on looking at girls' faces instead of their chests.

[hedgehog]

59. My suggestion exactly!

[Deep13]

62. Curious to know what cover story you will use for the seating change. nt

[DemBones DemBones]

75. "I am the teacher" will do nicely. nt

[Deep13]

96. Wow.

Just "wow" is all.

[DemBones DemBones]

117. Teachers decide seating arrangements.

Wow, you didn't know that? :shrug:

[Deep13]

121. I am da classroom Fuhrer und I say so!

Und de frauleins mit big knockers sit in da back mit der Blacks und der Joos!

(The point in mentioning minority groups is to point out that there is a limit to any official discretion and that some reasons for offical action are simply not allowed.)

[Iggo]

60. "Over cleavaged"

No such thing, man.

[NewJeffCT]

63. You just need to stop looking

I know, sometimes it is difficult not to look, but in your situation, you really have to learn how not to look.

Since it is already April, this has likely been going on since September when school started - unless she suddenly blossomed during the winter... if her dress violated the school dress codes, somebody else in her 1st period or 2nd period classes, or her 4th through 7th/8th period classes likely would already have pointed it out to her within the previous 7 months.

So, my advice to you is to suck it up and learn not to look.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

64. Back away, don't look,

and understand that the world is full of blooming young girls.

You're an adult, and it's your job to handle your issues. The kid's within the dress code? Then we're talking about the reasons for your discomfort with her.

You married? Talk this over with your wife, see what she says.

And, seriously, think about why this girl is so getting to you when there are young girls out there every day who are flashing incredible cleavage. I sometimes feel sorry for young boys, but them's the fashions.

The notion that you've already been through this with one other girl strongly suggests that you've got a problem.......................

[Dappleganger]

69. Bad idea to talk about it w/the wife!

Once you cross that bridge you cannot go back--she'll always question you after that.
TERRIBLE idea. If he's that bothered he should ask a counselor who has to keep things in confidence.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

70. Then that's a bad relationship with "the wife"

If you can't talk about it, there's all sorts of underlying things going on, none of them good.

I don't think the OP is married, though. Do you?

[Shell Beau]

90. Not necessarily a bad relationship. Let's get real here.

Jealousy is common even in the strongest of relationships.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

92. If he's been teaching for a few years,

as it seems he has, then he's been around young girls a lot. I assume his wife knows what he does for living, right?

I disagree. Jealousy of your husband's young students suggests an unhealthy relationship. And that probably has a whole lot of underlying factors, as well, none of them good.

A trusting, healthy relationship makes room for open conversation. My experience with jealous spouses, mine and others, has always turned out to be quite the mirror image and perfect projection - they were the ones doing the cheating.

It's regrettable that your experience has taught you to believe that to be "real" means to accept that jealousy is "common even in the strongest of relationships." Mine is quite different.

Jealousy is never healthy, always destructive.....................

[Shell Beau]

97. Jealousy is a normal human emotion.

The severity of the jealousy may mean the relationship is "broken", but because one gets jealous from time to time doesn't indicate that the relationship is damaged. Jealousy usually stems from one's own insecurities. And it happens to everyone. I am not saying it happens to everyone in these type of situations, but it happens. And it is normal. And no relationship is perfect. Ever.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

98. I don't recall claiming that

any relationship is perfect, so you're standing on the wrong piece of ground there.

A man who can't tell his wife about a problem he's having is a man in a troubled relationship. Jealousy may, as you say, be a human emotion, but what's wrong with dealing with that within the relationship as they work together to deal with the husband's problem. I maintain that the inability for one partner to confide in the other partner is a symptom of a relationship that is not very solid.

Jealousy stems, very often, from one's own experiences, perhaps feeding basic insecurities, perhaps invoking a history with a person who has established a history of betrayal. It is hardly as simple as your portray it. Slick answers are nice, but they're worthless, as most simplistic, superficial interpretations are.

If a married person can't talk to his or her spouse about something that is troubling them, but, instead, goes to an Internet message board, well, I'd say that's a very sad thing. If you found out your spouse was doing that, I suspect you wouldn't feel very good about it. Who would?

But, wherever you pulled that "perfect" notion from, put it back. It's worthless..................

[Shell Beau]

100. You did say this

"It's regrettable that your experience has taught you to believe that to be "real" means to accept that jealousy is "common even in the strongest of relationships." Mine is quite different."

I do believe that is real. I do believe people in almost all relationships deal with jealousy at some point on some sort of level.

You implied, or I felt you implied that your relationship is beyond that. If it is, that is great. But that doesn't mean someone else's relationship is damaged if there is jealousy from time to time. Sure he should be able to tell his wife about the cleavaged girl. But the fact that she may get jealous about it doesn't mean that their relationship is messed up.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

105. What relationship of mine?

Believe me, I took special care not to reference anything personal. It's not my style. Your inference is faulty, and you draw conclusions that aren't pertinent to my simple belief that a man who can't tell his wife is having a problem doesn't have a terribly healthy or intimate relationship with that wife.

That's my contention, my opinion, what I've learned in this life, but you take issue with it. I don't know why my opinion should cause you such consternation, but it apparently does.

Look - you have your opinion, I have mine. I don't care to explain or defend my opinion any longer. But, really, along with "perfect" and the notion that I was somehow talking about my personal life, you're so all over the place, I realize now that I'm just playing with my food, and that's a great big waste of my time.

[Shell Beau]

119. Wow! You must hang out in GD a lot.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

122. I don't know what that means -

But, if there's something there for you, that's good..................

[Shell Beau]

125. Your last response was condescending. Sounds like

something I would read in GD which is why I stay away from there mostly. I can have a disagreement with someone while not talking down to them.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

134. Well, if you read a statement of facts

as "condescending," after you're pulled assumptions out of thin air and tried to use them to bolster your stance, then I can only be amused. Making things up in a conversation - and that's all it was - is hardly conducive to enlightening the other party. Why on earth would I continue with someone who reads into plain words things that aren't there?

And, really, what is it in your own life that makes you work so hard to try to disclaim the opinion of a stranger, the opinion that happens to differ from yours? You might want to think about that.

So, if you find having your errors and sleight of hand pointed out to you "condescending," well, yes, I suppose you would be a bit abashed about it and look for a way to make it the other person's.

That not being my problem, I bid you adieu and wish you well.....................

[Shell Beau]

136. Good God lighten up!

:rofl:

And I didn't pull anything out of thin air. As smart as you think you sound, your statements of facts... FACTS? When did opinions become factual?

[RiffRandell]

65. Happy April Fool's Day to you too! n/t

[Renew Deal]

72. Don't do anything on your own.

Talk to your boss.

[krispos42]

73. Unless it's distracting the hell out of the other students...

(which is entirely possible; I was 16 once) you're SOL. And even if she was, you still have no place to go unless she actively and intentionally grabbing her bosom to flirt with you or other classmates.


Avoid looking (or at least avoid staring) and think of Barbara Bush. If you're a high-school teacher you're going to have a career full of underage students you can't do more than think about in the deep, deep privacy of your mind. If this is truly becoming obsessive, you might want to transfer to a middle school or elementry school before you wind up on Fark holding up a placard from your local police department.

[RiffRandell]

74. Get a fucking grip people!

With all the DU "police" lately, do you think a teacher would ask advice for this problem? If he is a real teacher, he could get in trouble for posting this "problem" on the internets with his school...and as of late shit proves people will hunt you down, so if is still a teacher, and this is a joke....he's screwed. My 2 fucking cents.

If you are a teacher and posting it's not appropiate, if it's a joke, it's funny.

[Rising Phoenix]

76. I have to say "poor girl!"

Coming from someone who had huge boobs ( before the reduction) and at an early age, I feel for her. This girl isn't breaking any rules, in fact she is making an extra effort to be modest. I know from experience that when your breasts are large, everything looks immodest, or as many guys said "slutty" even if it was just a t shirt.

My advice......say nothing......I"m sure the girl is more uncomfortable with you trying to avoid her breasts ( yes girls can feel all you out there looking at our chest, or trying not to), and then writing about it on the internet, then you are.

[Blandocyte]

77. She's trying to manippleate you

into giving her a better grade. Don't give in.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

156. LOL

:spray:

[RagAss]

78. Speak to a female teacher you trust...perhaps a talk is in order...Gal to Gal.

[RagAss]

79. Speak to a female teacher you trust about it....

Perhaps a gal to gal talk is in order.

[elshiva]

80. ........

[RetroLounge]

82. +1

:hi:

RL

[elshiva]

83. Hello, RetroLounge, how are you?

:hi:

[RetroLounge]

84. I'm fine, better now, thanks!

:9

:hi:

RL

[elshiva]

86. Good.

[NewJeffCT]

94. +1

what lovely hands she has.

[cherish44]

142. Those are udders not breasts

Can you imagine those tatas when she's 60? They'll be bouncing off her knees when she walks

[mainegreen]

110. +2!

[Lyric]

81. I am of the opinion that, so long as she isn't deliberately trying to expose herself,

it's not something you should say anything about--to anyone.

I had the same problem as a teen--poor parents who couldn't afford to replace my school clothes as fast as I "grew" out of them. If a teacher had said anything, I'd have been incredibly humiliated, hurt, and ashamed.

Frankly--you're an adult. The onus is on you to moderate your own thoughts. There is no such thing as "I can't help it" when it comes to adult sexual behaviors--including "looking."

[nomorenomore08]

85. "Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXU8kCrRHJY

:evilgrin:

[Dr. Strange]

116. Ouch.

That stings.

[Godhumor]

87. When I taught, I knelt down next to the desks of female students when talking one on one

It brings you level with their eyes and removes inadvertent slips of attention.

[Critters2]

89. Aren't you the same person who was referring to your MS students

using, at best, questionable language last night? You clearly have what we in my profession call "boundaries issues". You're not a kid, and it's inappropriate for you to be noticing their cleavage. Get some help before you find yourself in trouble.

Seriously.

[ChoralScholar]

91. From a male teacher:

Just let it be unless it's causing some other problem in the class. There's no win in this situation anyway. You'll hurt her feelings, or make yourself look like a teen-ogling perv. I finally learned just to tune it out. I don't even see it anymore.

I told an Assistant Principal last year - "I've got more important things to worry about than chasing around dress-code violators and gum chewers. I've got kids to teach."

[leftofthedial]

93. well-aimed spitwads?

[JoDog]

95. Do your best

to ignore it. She is under the dress code, and mentioning it probably will not work out well for you. Your lone out would be if you notice that the young lady's clothes are distracting to other students. Then, it could be referred to the guidance office, dean of students, etc.

The lady is obviously aware that her cleavage is visible. It's very likely that she cannot get better fitting clothes right now for any of a variety of reasons.

Also, since it is getting late in the school year, it may be a good idea to get proactive for next fall. If it is possible, suggest that TPTB update the dress code to prevent this problem. That way, if this comes up again, you will have a tool to help you with minimum embarrassment to you and your students.

[Tektonik]

99. if it's within the boundaries of the school dress code, then it's fine

Your opinion does not matter in this instance.

[rcrush]

102. Write some dirty online porn fiction about it.

You could have a big hit here.

[WinkyDink]

103. Administration and/or guidance counselor. STAT. No dress code in place?

[Lil Missy]

104. I was in a similar situation that made me extremely uncomfortable.

There was a gal out on the smoke deck that had a lot of cleavage. It was really intrusive, and embarrassing.

Mind you. I'd already been called into HR for telling the lesbian toaster joke. Some young gal, (I know who it was), became horrified that I might be switching poor innocent women to turn gay.

:eyes:

Really, the extra cleavage did disturb many of us. It's not like one cannot see, when they are about to fall out and start flapping. Nobody wanted to be caught looking. So most of us stayed very far away from her.

I was especially concerned. I was openly gay. If I got complained about even glancing at her cleavage, or tits, I could have been fired over that. I stayed very far away from her, with others who felt the same way.

It's not like any of us had control issues about seeing tits. There were no preverts in this group. Sometimes a woman can be dressed overly provocative.

To sum this up, I guess I'll resort to my favorite standby. If the bullet is meant for me? Fine. I'm not afraid of death. But I won't throw myself in front of a bullet, either.

[crimsonblue]

107. Get some pants with pleats.

:P

[NOW tense]

108. Few weeks left. Leave it for someone else. n/t

[Generic Brad]

109. Why would this be considered a problem?

It's not like she's flashing genitalia for all to see. Just do your best not to stare.

[santamargarita]

113. If I were 16 and know what I know now, I'd want her phone number

:sarcasm:

[Danger Mouse]

115. Gouge your eyes out with a rusty fork. It's the only way.

Enter class one day and scream 'you won't need eyes where we're going!' over and over again.

[Jamastiene]

158. Best.Answer.Here.

:spray:

[BreweryYardRat]

118. Get a pair of mirrored sunglasses and wear 'em to class.

That'd at least make it less obvious if you're having trouble staring.

People might figure it out, but I doubt they'd be able to call you on it.

[DS1]

120. Make like Harvey Keitel in Bad Lieutenant and rub one out on her desk

[Tommy_Carcetti]

123. I had a classmate like that.

I swear it was this close to having a nip showing. This close!

I would have pointed it out to her, but I didn't want to embarass her.

That's it, I didn't want to embarass her. Really. That's the only reason I didn't say anything. Honestly! :evilgrin:

[datasuspect]

126. huh huh you said "gape"

huh huh huh

[UndertheOcean]

127. Just control yourself.

[cherish44]

128. Get the dress code changed

Teenage cleavage, butt cracks, shoulders are forbidden to see the light of day at my school

[datasuspect]

129. get a handle on it

[datasuspect]

130. grasp the problem and choke it.

[Burma Jones]

131. Teach Gym........

or have the dress code changed, or teach at a Private School, or follow the example of Oedipus after he figured out what the hell he did.....

[AngryAmish]

132. This thread is exhibit #1 why men should not go into teaching

1. Even on an underage girl boobs are distracting.

2. Women do not understand what it is like to be a man (and vice versa). This is clear from the responses here.

3. Say nothing about it. It will only get you in trouble.

4. Men in teaching and other jobs that put you in proximity with children will always be suspect. Why? Because of the many perverts that are in those professions. All get blamed. Get enough time in to get a pension and get out.

[Djinn]

146. bullshit

every woman is guilty of perving every bit as much as men do (you don't really think women are asexual do you?) perhaps we may be more subtle about it but not always, I've been caught out plenty of times

BUT and it's a BIG but, as an adult I'm not prone to checking out teenagers, especially not those I'm charged with looking after/out for.

Simple boundary issues here nothing at all to do with the antiquated idea that men just can't help staring at women and women can't understand because they have no interest in doing so themselves.

Jesus I can only pity the sex lives of the men still holding on to this backward falsehood

[AngryAmish]

151. Wrong.

Again, the empathy thing. This is why trying to explain oneself to women in this field is so dangerous and must not be done.

It is clear from all the science that men and women's brains are wired differently. Nobody said women do not perv. But it is distracting. No one said the OP has trangressed any boundary, but it is an issue the guy wants help with. My point it is dangerous to seek help due to the very reactions one sees here. Being a suspect although nothing has been done - that is not nice.

[gmoney]

135. Move her to the back row? (eom)

[snooper2]

137. At my work that would be called learing...

And you are a teacher learing an underage girl...


Maybe you should go ahead and turn yourself in now before you act with your small head....

[snooper2]

138. Oh, and to add- do you check out her ass

when she gets up to leave class as well?

[tigereye]

139. get a female teacher to tell her?

[Help_I_Live_In_Idaho]

141. The problem is the clothes - no clothes no cleavage

[Djinn]

143. eeuuuww

I suggest therapy if you find it a chore to NOT look at a 16 year old chest - try looking at her face, it's not hard.

[Lil Missy]

145. Why did you kick this thread 8 days later?

[Djinn]

147. is there a rule that says you can't read and post to old threads?

I was searching for a post and the search brought up this title which interested me - so I posted in it, I often post to older threads because I don't always visit DU every day, sometimes not for months, so I post on older threads, in fact given I'm in an almost diametrically opposite timezone I rarely post on "new" ones. What's your point?

[Lil Missy]

148. I'm just suspicious by nature. I thought the point had already been made.

I just don't believe in kicking people in the teeth.

Please carry on. I'll butt out.

:hi:

[Djinn]

149. fair enough

I'm a leftie from Leith so I'm suspicious by nature but also not opposed to a teeth kicking :evilgrin:

[JVS]

154. Not that I know of

[JCMach1]

150. One of the pitfalls (pun intended) of teaching high school...

At least she's not leaning over your desk...! Or, is she?

I don't think there is any way around young women pushing their sexual boundaries... it's gonna happen. My advice is RELAX.

There are far worse things... she could have a crush on you.

[rucky]

152. You could always be "mistaken" about the dress code.

And write a referral. She may think you're being an a-hole, but she'll get the message.

[Jetboy]

153. A bunch of Judgie Judies and Jakes around here.

Bucky, IMO you have done nothing wrong and it is right to ask for advice to handle an uncomfortable situation. The people who attacked you are not following the Golden Rule and that is sad for them, not you.

My advice for your classroom problem and the Snoop Judgie Judges problem in this thread: Keep yer head up- you've done nothing wrong!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

155. Wear one of these when she's in class...

[LeftyMom]

157. If your eyes are drawn to sixteen year old titties, crack open the want ads and find another job.

Whether or not somebody should tell the girl to cover up, if you honestly can't help looking you need a different work environment.