I have complex feelings while contemplating parenthood....

[eyepaddle]

I forget who the comedian was, but somebody once said that men chase women until they catch us. As usual the jester gets closest to the truth. As somebody who remained single until his very, very late 30s, I have been shafted repeatedly at work because somebody else "couldn't stay late-0-I've got a family." That used to send me right up the wall. So I get to hand load a semi trailer full of drums until 8:30 PM just because I was either awkward around women (or commitment phobic--I never really did figure out which on it was)?

As many others have noted I didn't want the family people to have to put work first, I just didn't want to have work shoved onto me callously because of other people's life choices.

And now I am a stepfather--with the possibility of also becoming a biological parent--how the f(*k did that happen?

However this plays out, I hope I don't make a hypocrite of myself and attain the zeal of the newly converted, but I do look at children differently now--this is a lot more "unsettling" to me than getting pummeled on some river, if for no other reason than the duration of these new events.

Oh yeah, if anybody is reading this looking for a conclusion--you shan't get it from me. This is merely the tale of a man who thought he'd live a fun but uncomplicated life filled with friends and pursuits, but also solitude now going through what most people experience in their 20s and wondering if I have made the right choices--then or now, and also wondering what I might have missed--or may come to miss in the future.

Curiouser and curiouser (as the saying goes....)

[Midlodemocrat]

1. You'll make a great father. Go for it.

You won't regret it. Greatest thing I ever did, even when it's the hardest.

[eyepaddle]

2. Wow, thank you for the compliment

I feel somewhat humbled--there's been a lot of that going on with me lately! :D

Of course, my opinion is not the only one to be considered in this affair. :)

[tigereye]

5. parenthood is humbling, too, but fun and often delightful

It gives you a whole new perspective on the world, you would do anything to care for and protect them, and you will find patience you didn't know you had.


Plus one day, you can teach them to paddle down various streams and rivers...



:thumbsup:

[applegrove]

3. Babies are alot of work. They are also alot of fun. How would you feel about laughing all day long?

You'll do fine.

[Schema Thing]

4. Just remember that you want to raise kids who

would appreciate your "fun and uncomplicated" take on life, and also who will turn out to be the type of people you would want for your fun and uncomplicated friends when they become adults.

Never make or try to enforce an arbitrary "because I'm the parent" rule, and you'll do fine.

The truth is, good parenting is not nearly as difficult as bad parents make it out to be.

[trof]

6. Becoming a parent is a life changing event, that's for sure.

I was 27 when we married.
Our daughter was born shortly after I celebrated my 30th birthday.
I became a grandparent almost a year after I turned 60.
And again at age 66.

I'm happy with how things have turned out, but I sometimes envy those who married and started families younger.
Some are only in their 40s when they become grandparents, much closer in age to the generations that follow.
:shrug:

Anyway, best of luck.
I think you're gonna like it.
:-)