Why do you take a shower?

[trof]

Old joke: "Did you take a shower?"
"Why, is there one missing?"
:rofl:

But the Brits 'have' a shower.
They don't take baths, either.
They have one.

I think we got it wrong.
How'd that happen?
:shrug:

And you're in 'the' hospital, while they are just 'in hospital'.
How come we're 'in' college, but 'at the' university?
:eyes:

[no name no slogan]

1. "Do you smoke after sex?"

I don't know, I've never checked.

[trof]

2. Two drunks in the men's room.

"Does your dick burn when you pee?"
"I dunno. Never tried to light it."
:-)

[Tangerine LaBamba]

3. The proper answer:

"Yes, if it's done right."

[HopeHoops]

4. If you do....

.... you're doing it too fast.

[trof]

5. I think I've lost control of this thread.

It happens.
;-)

[HopeHoops]

6. Oh, I think that was in the cards from the OP ;}

:bounce:

[Bucky]

27. Do you speak with your spouse after sex?

A: Only if there's a phone nearby. (but you could probably see that one a mile off)

[jobycom]

7. And then there's the classic one about "taking a dump" nt

[Sanity Claws]

8. Is that different from having a dump?

[no name no slogan]

13. "Not one of mine, you're not!"

I hope that's the correct line.

[jobycom]

17. Something like that. I couldn't quite remember the whole routine.

But that's the one.

[Lil Missy]

15. Nope. The proper way is to pinch a loaf.

Then the obvious sewer pickle.

I could sooooo get this thread locked!

[trof]

22. Or 'make a deposit'.

:-)

[MajorChode]

25. Take the Browns to the Superbowl

In the immortal words of Larry the Cable guy.

[Bucky]

29. Bomb Lake Porcelein into submission

"Feed the white vortex" is probably too esoteric for this crowd.

[MajorChode]

36. Drop the kids off at the pool

[MajorChode]

26. I prefer to leave one

[skygazer]

9. Somewhat different but I'm always intrigued when people ask to borrow a kleenex

Um... you can have one, but I don't want it back. :puke:

[Xipe Totec]

10. Because it's Saturday

And saturday is Sa-bath n/t

[gmoney]

11. "Get on the airplane..."

"Let Evil Kneievel get ON the airplane, I'm getting IN the airplane."

[trof]

21. To my late, sainted M-I-L things, programs, people were 'in' the TV.

While we usually say we saw something 'on' television, she would say "I saw it in the TV."
See, it was 'in' this box, not on it.
She may have been more correct in her conception.

BTW, if it was 'in' the TV, it was gospel to her.
If she saw it in the TV, it was unquestionably true.
Sweet lady.
:-)

[achtung_circus]

12. Cream in your coffee?

Not recently...

[Bucky]

31. !

Oh my God!!

Now I have to explain to my after school students why I'm typing "lesson plans" at the computer and laughing out loud.

[Orrex]

14. It's a holdover from the early days, when it was difficult to heat the water

It's not "take" as in "pilfer." It's "take" as in "endure."

True fact I swear.

[jobycom]

18. If it's not true

it should be.

Isn't "true fact" redundant?

[Drunken Irishman]

19. Not in the Bush age.

Oh wait, we're post-Bush age.

I keep forgetting.

[jobycom]

20. .

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_40wF87N0Cm8/R3wxdf_DIuI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/1IgMJdVfkkA/s320/brilliant+guinness.jpg

[Orrex]

35. 'True fact' is not redundant

Nor is it redundant.

[trof]

23. "Can you TAKE a shower?" "Yeah, I can TAKE it."

Interesting interpretation.

[qwertyMike]

16. The smelly Brits

don't do much of either - shower or bathe - well maybe at the end of each month.
:)

[trof]

24. Oh, bosh.

All the Brits I know are quite non-odoriferous.
Or something.
:-)

[JitterbugPerfume]

28. my Brit brother-in law

smells like tobacco and whisky , but I am quite sure he has a shower regularly

[Bucky]

30. Yes, but what you don't realize is...

The British usually shower in tobacco and whisky.

[JitterbugPerfume]

32. that is part of the reason

sis is getting a divorce Plus the fact that he is a controlling asshole

[Bucky]

33. I'm sorry to hear that

I suspect that characteristic is not geographically specific, however.

[JitterbugPerfume]

34. no , not geographically specific at all

Actually I like Brits Their sense of humor is a wonder!